My ex-wife and me divorced amicably, so we still talk.
One day, about two years after separtion she called me whether I still had my credit card.
(Typically we pay by payment cards called ec or giro card - but they don’t habe a credit card number, so not usable for ordering something from overseas)
So I said, yes, why. “Uhm, I want to buy something from the US” she answerf with skirting around the topic.
A certain assumption forms in my mind, as she speaks on I’m getting more sure every moment.
I answer: Look, <ex-wife>, don’t try to order the Hitachi Magic Wand from the US. It can’t be imported due to the no-lead-in-electric-devices law. And even if it arrived you 'd need a transformer for plugging it into our 230V system. Just buy one of the knockoffs available on Amazon in Europe
She : “Um (pause), OK”
Some years later my teenage kids found it when they were at her place. They asked her what it was and she said “a microphone”. I swear by my kids, the “it is a microphone” meme happened once in my family in real life. (And of course these teenagers knew what it was).
“Gee Mom, it smells like fish”
“Yes, my father. And I’m your daughter, speaking in a completely natural manner.”
That will likely make for some interesting vocal performances
I mean…
You can put them to your throat or neck and produce a bit of a kind of warble, sort of like talking into certain high rpm fans.
… But uh, ‘adult’, ‘antagonistic gpod touch’ karaoke night does also sound a bit more interesting than “never have I ever.”
No I just learned on YouTube to never put vibrators on your neck. There are arteries there, and you can fuck up your blood flow to the brain. Fainting, blood clots, death possible.
… What?
Seriously?
I don’t mean like, jam it into your neck to the point it restricts blood flow, or restricts your actual trachea, restricts airflow.
I mean like, lightly touch it to your adams apple, or where that would be if you don’t have one.
… Can you send me your source on this?
If what you are saying is true, then massage guns of all kinds would basically cause blood clots, and I’m pretty sure they don’t.
Like yeah you can potentially restrict blood/air flow if you grip or press around the wrong/right areas with enough force… but yeah, I am incredulous at the idea of vibrators being able to cause blood clots.
Maybe if you have some conditions or disorder where you have exceptionally weak capillaries, they could cause bruising, …
… but like, I’ve been using a massage gun on my neck/shoulder blade for over a year now as part of a doctor / phys therapist designed phys therapy routine for me to recover from a set of injuries, and they’ve never risen any concerns about this, and I’ve never fainted nor developed blood clots from this (get my bloodwork every couple of months).
Okay, here’s the plan:
We get Bluetooth controller prostate massagers and those egg ones for the folks with vaginas.* Everyone has one in, everyone else has group access to control it.
We all go to a karaoke bar, and whoever is up on stage we all mess with the remote app while they’re singing and try to throw them off. Everyone’s gotta sing at least once. Try to stay in rhythm while the thing is buzzing, or nothing happens and you’re so focused on what to do when it starts, never know if they’re going to do it or not. Will that low note suddenly become a falsetto? Who knows‽
I swear to God, if I had the money to buy the things, I have at least 3 friends who would go for this. 4, honestly, but the 4th one would be too embarrassed to go because he’s the dad of one of the other friends. Lol.
To note, this isn’t a sexual “get you off” kind of thing. This is fully platonic “can you maintain decorum” type of game. It’d be a blast
*I know very little about sex toys for girls, whatever the best one is.
Exactly, you detailed out exactly what I had in mind!
Though uh… I’d say maybe emphasize the idea of consent, not ‘platonic’.
Some people can seperate sex and love and friendship in their approaches to relationships, but lets be real, the vast majority of people cannot, when any kind of sexual touch is involved.
I would say probably don’t involve people who have uh, genealogical relationships to anyone else in the group, probably try this with a group of fully informed, explicitly, enthusiastically consenting, open minded adults.
Don’t peer pressure people into this.
Find open minded, kinky “freaks” instead, lol.
Personally, I’d put this on about the same tier of group activity of strip poker or drunk/strip twister.
You’d also have to have some kind of ruleset to say like, each other person can only send a total of XX seconds of vibration per song, or something like that, maybe more complex rules if you want some ‘gameplay’ in that regard.
The good news though is that simple bullet/egg type wireless vibes can be pretty cheap, maybe $25 or less.
The bad news is that everyone is gonna need to be ok with potentially pissing/shitting themselves, especially if people are also drinking, and they’ve not used such vibrators before too often.
This would probably be easier to pull off at someone’s home/apartment, unless you can find a private karaoke club thats ok with people potentially pissing/shitting themselves on stage.
Yeah, someone’s home is best. Lol.
platonic in the sense of romance. Lol. Like, honestly, yeah, fun game with a sexual component like strip poker. You’re not necessarily getting off, or getting entangled with anyone there. I see this is as a game of endurance with a “thrill” aspect.
Also, I may have said dad above. He’s step dad, and that family is definitely close enough they could play that and it not it be weird for them. I doubt the step dad/son would actually be the ones to mess with the others settings, but they’d probably be down to be at the group event. Lol. Hell, even the mom might be. Super open family. Strong boundaries, but those boundaries are places a lot further afield than my family’s. Lol
You can fuck someone aromantically, you can love someone as a very dear friend with no sexual desire toward them, platonically.
As I understand the world platonic, it essentially means “lacking a sexual and romantic component.”
I… I mean sure, there are some people who can seperate a uh, literal sexual buzz from having desirous or repulsive sexual/romantic feelings about that, but most people do not do that, many think they can, and then nope, turns out they can’t.
As to the step dad situation… uh, nope, nope thats still a hard nope from me, that’s weird.
Maybe other people disagree on that but uh nope nope nope from me.
this is fully platonic
They always do
Let me sing you the song of my people
I think I’m those people. Let’s sing.
Username checks out
They’re auto tune the shit out their voices.
How many friends does she have?
At least 4 are in the photo
Three friends. Because one of those Hitachi magic wands is for herself.
Wooooosh
No, commenter was saying that the vibrators are four of her friends.
That seems like too many. Unless it’s one of those new age group masturbatathons.
I can think of plenty of ways to use 4 wands on one person.
If you’re not masturbating with me then you must be masturbating against me.
- George Wanking Bush
If I said you have a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Ranked competitive mode
were done with casual sex, ranked it is
Which will inevitably lead to cheating
which will lead to anticheating software which will make the game suck sometimes.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I will do what I must.
It’ll be a musical performance of a life time.
I had to wipe down a couple of them because they had some mold growing on them … I think the dog chewed on it or something
Something is telling me that really don’t want to turn those all on at the same time.
A good dad would go out and get them newer wireless models, come on! Hard to focus on performing when you’re wrapped in a cord!
I’m charging the microphones
But Hitachi magic wands aren’t rechargeable. They plug straight into 110V outlet. They don’t work if they’re not plugged in.
False. They changed the branding a few years ago, removing ‘Hitachi’ as they felt the name was being harmed by the wand sales. But they do sell genuine, wireless wands.
Source: I have one. Have had it… 8 years now? Something like that.
