Because maybe she was also thinking of feeding me the snacks?

Don’t.

Crazy Town, circa 2000. I want to be there for that first tour just after Butterfly released and experience the paradigm shift for myself. If I have to pick a single show, let’s make it the November 29th WBCN X-Mas Rave at the Avalon Ballroom in Boston, where you’d not only get to experience Shifty Shellshock in his prime, but also P.O.D. and Insane Clown Posse. In one night.

Put out a bowl of extra salty peanuts and crank up the heat. Open a small bar in the corner serving margaritas, mojitos, pina coladas, etc… Sit back and watch the passive income roll in.

If he were smart, he would hire a full-time interviewee to ensure there’s always someone interviewing and buying drinks at a steady, predictable rate. Easiest money you’ll ever make.

I miss that innocence of being completely carefree on the playground and just thinking, “the Sykes-Picot agreement was a hell of a great secret accord.”

Yeah, I’ve recently been talking to a friend of mine about both starting a business and fleeing the country. I haven’t figured out how to make either work, much less both simultaneously, but eventually the brainstorming is bound to pay off.

Ah, the ol’ prayer oneupsmanship.

“Father God Jehovah Almighty, we prostrate ourselves before thee on these hallowed grounds. As you tell us in Jeremiah 29:11, you know the plans you have for us…”

Sorry, just a little flashback.

If there were a heaven, it would 100% be only for wealthy people. Pearly gates? Golden streets? Nirvana? Eternal peace? That’s rich people shit. I certainly can’t afford that.

New AI monthly subscription model. $30 a month or your worst nightmares flash on your screen uncontrollably from time-to-time. More like the early internet, I suppose.

Don’t mean to bash your distro choice OP, but they say the best jokes contain a kernel of truth.

YEP! I planned around it and my parents agreed to take me. I approached the electronics department of my then-local Columbus, GA Walmart Supercenter expecting a hoppin’ soiree. This is Garth. He doesn’t do anything small. HERE. WE. GO! Instead, it was just me. Standing in the electronics department. At Walmart. Watching the “concert” on the wall of TVs.

I DEFENDED THAT MAN TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY when he pulled his Chris Gaines/The Lamb schizophrenic breakdown bullshit. He put me in the position of defending the indefensible. “Oh, no, you don’t understand, it’ll all make more sense when The Lamb comes out!” WHERE’S THE FUCKING LAMB, GARTH!?

I don’t want any trouble, but I disagree.

I’ll never understand why more people don’t build their own distros to suit their needs.

I’m sorry, sir, but the tests indicate you have Stage 3 Gentoo.

Garth Brooks was my personal Jesus (aside from Jesus) as a southern tween/teen, but I still have several bones to pick with him, among them Chris Gaines/The Lamb and a particular Walmart-exclusive concert at which I was the only attendee in my little town, making me feel even more like a total ass. Oh, and this. Yeeeeeah. But deep down I’m still pretty sure I’m gonna be in his band one day. And then usurp him as the new Garth.

Oh, Benny.

You’re thinking of the Titan submersible accident, I think. But they ended up stored on a Logitech controller, not a mouse.

The AI plays all video games for you, leaving you more time to work and be productive.

I’m a-shamed to be an A-merican,

Where at least now I can’t see.

And I won’t forget the libs who cried,

Who gave that right to me.