I’d be Cables Don’t Tangle Man.
Being able to fall asleep and wake up exactly when I want to without an alarm man.
You guys have alarm mans? That sounds cool
“Sir? Sir! It is well past time for you to begin your day. Yes, sir, I am well aware work, as you put it ‘sucks ass’, but never the less, it is time to rise and shine. I will be back tomorrow at the same time.”
“very good sir, I shall remind you in 9 minutes”
Before alarm clocks were easily available there used to be ‘knocker uppers’. They’d come tap on your window with a long stick to wake you up.
I would like to subscribe to your Historical Trivia newsletter.
That term can mean something very different
It’s Serj Tankian from SOAD singing Chop Suey.
Fully rested.
No no, the title says b-tier superpower
That’d be an S+ tier power for me.
This is not B-tier. This is A+tier.
I actually seem to have this one: Appropriately sized container man. I can find the best sized container when we have leftovers from cooking. Extra pasta sauce? This container fits it all in perfectly.
IDK man, that’s toeing the line of an A-tier power.
My wife has a version of this; it’s perfect liquid measurement estimation woman. She never has to use measuring cups for liquids. I’ve actually bothered to test this power, and it’s uncanny.
All I got was hysterical kitchen blindness man. I can’t see things I’m looking for in the fridge or pantry, even when they’re right in front of me.
Sorry man, yours isn’t even a power. It comes default with the Y chromosome. I can be staring directly at something I’m looking for and not register that it’s right there.
I was looking for something that was literally between my two hands on the counter, straight where I was looking, this morning.
I swear it’s gotten worse with age.
I kinda have something like this. I’m pretty good at estimating distances. From inches to feet and miles (don’t metric me it will get all fucked up.)
A residence floormate I knew back in university also worked as a bartender at a hotel.
His one story relevant to this thread is he once poured a drink for a customer over ice without measuring it. Think scotch or whiskey. Customer said there’s no way that’s an ounce. They argued for a bit; my friend poured everything from the glass into a shot glass minus the ice, and it was exactly on the line. End of argument.
He admitted to me that some of that may have been water from the melted ice.
Me: Owns a variety of sizes of containers
Also me: Only uses 2 of the sizes, and never has a clean one when I need it
I might have this one too. Probably from that microwave accident I was involved in.
I don’t know if this qualifies as “b-tier”, but I’d really would like a superpower where when hearing a sound I knew exactly what made it.
I live in an old house, in the middle of a forest. Lots of weird noises both inside and outside. Being able to know if a sound I just heard requires my attention (i.e. “is that some animal messing around in my walls, or just the old wood squeaking”) would be gold. The amount of times I’ve gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to investigate something is too damn high. After countless mice, vasps nests, birds, and various mammals deciding to move in with us, my paranoia levels have skyrocketed.
Would also sort out the “is that my kid crying, or just the draft through the vents”-question, as well as “is that normal wood settling noises, or is there more rot I’ve yet to find and the whole house is collapsing”.
This sounds like a good premise for a horror story. You get your hearing superpower and everything is finally great, no need to get up and investigate benign noises. And then one day, you hear a sound that no matter what you do, you can’t tell what and where it’s coming from.
That would make a great writing prompt imo [email protected]
Your house sounds awesome to look at, but my ADHD wouldn’t allow me to live there. Nothing would get done, and my family would die when the house collapsed.
I’m happy I’m not alone. Last night something was going through my kitchen. It sounded larger than a mouse and it didn’t care about making noise. You know that moment when you’re asleep and your body wakes you up slightly cuz something is off. And you’re in that low power state thinking about whether you should think or not because it’ll wake you up?
Anyway I was so exhausted I thought let it have some fun I just can’t care.
There are dozens of us!
I’ve had the exact same reaction - “whatever it is, as long as it stays out of the bedroom I’ll deal with it tomorrow”.
My favorite incident here, as a tangent, is when my wife came to me for help while I was doing something in the garden. A large crow was sitting on the kitchen counter. My initial thought was “well there goes my day” as birds tend to be the worst to get out. However, everyone keep saying how smart those birds are so I figured I’d do what I do when half-ferral cats stumble in.
So I walked in, see the crow, the crow sees me, and we kind of just stare at each other. I slowly backed up, went around the house and entered again through the backdoor. I grabbed his attention again before going out once more, and in again through the main door. We stared at each other some more, and then he just lightly jumped across the floor and went out the back door. No frantical flying and crapping everywhere. 10/10 experience as far as birds stuck in the house goes.
It’s probably in my imagination, but we shared a moment there. What’s not in my imagination though is that afterwards a bunch of crows started hanging around the house. So I started giving them some snacks every once in a while, because why not. Long story long, we have a small murder of crows watching over the property.
The crow whisperer.
A while back my shed suddenly was demolished spontaneously. So I’m running around in full makeup trying to get all the gardening stuff out to put it in my place.
There were some shockingly large spiders there. I’m talking the largest that I’ve ever seen irl outside a zoo.
Doesn’t matter, eggs and all are going inside.
So the other day I woke up and I saw one of those babies right above my head on the wall. I’m like I better get rid of this thing before I give it a name. Scurries off under my bed.
I imagine it’s still there but I’ve made my peace with it.
And as for mice. Honestly I’d build them a little home and give them little sandwiches. In fact I have made little sandwiches for them. The issue is just that they make my kitchen dirty.
To actually fall asleep when my head hits the pillow, and then stay asleep until the alarm goes off.
Unless there’s no alarm set, otherwise an untimely demise.
Sounds like as good a retirement plan as any. /shrug
Or if his head never leaves the pillow, or comes into contact with a second pillow…
He would lose every pillow fight, but be well rested for the next one.
OR one simply has to wait for a prince. But you never know when the next one’s coming around.
Twilight_Zone_My_Glasses.gif
He said B Tier! As a lifelong chronic insomniac I’d give almost anything for that ability.
Better: Type in any time to sleep in the bed. No need to set an alarm, just set 7h and done.
I feel like we’re pushing the limits of B-tier, but then I don’t actually know what B-tier even means, so let’s keep the ball rolling:
The ability to completely freeze time except for yourself (and magicking away the fine print like suffocating if you froze the the oxygen around your nose/mouth) but ONLY when you’re asleep.
5 minute break at work? Lemme just find a comfy chair and BAM 8 hours down the hatch!
Up all night studying and now your final is in two hours? BAM completely rested.
…I guess the catch being that if you overused it (and I totally would) you’d be aging while everything else was on pause, so you’d be like 90 years old physiologically, but only like 60 going by the date.
…which also means you could live your whole life and peace out before the clime wars start!! WOO!
Damn that’s a nice one.
And it would actually be very useful.
Taking away tge age thing would really push it to A-tier for commoners as a power.
I have this power, and one little caveat of it is how much I crave dozing, ie being awake, sleepy, and cozy but not needing to get up. I guess could just set my alarm earlier but I need the sleep more
deleted by creator
I’d be perfect departure time man. Able to determine exactly when to leave in order to arrive at your destination on time, regardless of traffic, weather, or other conditions encountered along the way.
Not a B tier power, my God you just invented the governments secret delivery method. You’re planning perfect extraction and invasion strategies, nuclear fall back evacuation routes. You just became a national secret, son.
Yeah! Take that!
So you want to be German?
You’re not from Germany are you? Our train system is horribly bad after it was left to rot for decades (no bigger investment into renewing or expanding stuff)
To be fair, I should probably have said Swedish as we are right on time and all German people I gave worked with were always unnecessarily 10-15 minutes early…
I have that power and i can tell you that the answer is always 10 min before the time in which im planning to leave.
Free refill man. Just point my finger and any beverage is refilled.
Sounds more like “solves water crisis man” to me. Point your finger at the colorado river and we are all set.
Your nemesis is Nestle. They want to put you in a locked room in the desert and pump sports drink out of you.
I’d like to think that they could break out of Nestle jail by pointing at all the guards stomachs and giving them otherworldly acid reflux.
They all just start projectile vomiting an endless stream. Brutal.
Ah, see I assume some sort of anime rules apply to the power and the larger the vessel the more it would sap my energy.
I guess I would still need to worry about being kidnapped by nestle and being hooked up to a feeding tube and gives to use my powers anyway…
Like this?
please refill my bankaccount
That’s just pepsi man.
Yeah I know this one, complete with the classic “if someone is annoying and won’t leave you alone just refill their bladder”.
Finish a task without getting distracted after five minutes man.
I’d love to be able to finish a task witho-
Man that coffee pot is gross, better go clean it.
I too have ADHD.
the B-Tier power I’d choose is to control bees
yes the pun is intended
Here is an alternative Piped link(s):
THE SITUATION HAS ONLY BEEN MADE WORSE BY THE ADDITION OF YET MORE BEES!
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I’m open-source; check me out at GitHub.
Man these piped videos won’t play on my android Firefox. Wonder if adblock or privacy badger is killing it
I take perfect shits no matter what. Never constipated or have diahrea. Wipes are always perfectly clean.
B-side Man
Your super hero name is now “Number Two”
But that’s my “me” time…
You can still hang out or whatever your thing is.
What’s the opposite of procrastination?
Eagerness girl? That… sounds wrong somehow.All hail Productiva, Slayer of Tasks!
Fuck yes. I want that one!
My toes are unstubbable
Wow now this is the superpower I want. I’d walk through my house in the dark with WILD ABANDON!
Then good luck to your shin.
Eh, I played soccer and work as a maintenance man in the hospitality industry so my shins are long since destroyed.
Ah, the shins of a hockey player…
And step on the cat
Be careful what you wish for, your superpower could just remove your toes.
Or break all your table and chair legs whenever your foot approaches them.
No-one said anything about a monkey’s paw!
The trade-off is you now have a 1d4 chance of stepping on LEGO bricks in the dark. Even if you don’t own any LEGO.
Never get bitten by mosquitoes man.
Mosquitos used to find me attractive, but as I aged they didn’t come by no more.
Ouufff, that’s a great one!
Well… ok, but it doesn’t work for horse flies or black flies.
Can Always Find What I’m Looking For Man.
That is god teir!
- Lost gold
- A kidnap victim
- Your target as a prof. hitman
- Inspiration for your novel
- A cure for cancer
- A path to immortality
- Your lost car keys
This could probably uplift any path you choose to take in life.
It is like infinite luck as long as you can structure it into a need to find something then you will succeed.
Every-time-I-go-to-sit-there-is-a-seat-man
You would always win, or break, musical chairs.
learn to squat, your legs become your own seat.
Will you be able to get a seat at Dorsia’s?
Is Paul Allen in town?
Food-doesnt-make-me-overweight-or-mess-up-my-health man.
So I can eat whatever I want and it’s perfectly healthy for me whatever it is. I’d eat ao much ice cream it wouldn’t be funny.
