The 5 kinds of bird names:

1. Amazing Wonderbird of Eden
2. Hotbreasted Milfjay
3. Grayheaded Brownbird
4. Walter’s Fingernail
5. Miserable Fuckwit

it’s “hey that rock looks a lot like a cartoon character beloved by basically everyone on earth”, not sure why you’d bring euphemism and imperialism into it?

today i am going to go online and take obvious joke comments seriously

“hey dave i found some delicious noodles in the earth here, you wanna let the excavator have a taste?”

When you say you know how a transistor works, what does that mean? Are you talking about “voltage on one wire controls current on another wire” or are you talking about “silicon is doped with other elements to create areas in the metal with more and less electrons”?

more precisely it lets you add text that only shows up for people looking specifically at your reblog/boost/whateverthefuck the generic term is, unlike a reply which everyone afterwards can see.

So it’s like showing your friend something on the phone and making a snarky remark about it, they hear your remark but no one else does.

which is why scandinavian women are famously talented at making polka prints

why would you ever eat 2000 calories in one go? Even if you’re an extreme athlete that seems excessive.

i think the problem isn’t the definition, it’s the name. I’d prefer focusing on the convenience of the food, rather than the processing, as that’s one of the major defining features and what makes it bad.
Call it Ultra-convenient food.

how exactly did you struggle with getting calories from vegetables? did you literally just eat lettuce?
Even just carrots have a perfectly reasonable amount of calories, and vegetables are notoriously easy to digest, so the idea of not being able to physically fit more seems wholly made up.

can we please stop acting as if pizza is some horror food? yeah maybe pizza hut is closer to savoury cake, but most pizzas are perfectly fine, and the stereotypical italian pizza is outright healthy.

Of all the things you can eat, pizza is far from the worst, because it’s not absolutely filled with sugar.

no (appreciable amount of) fibre i’ll give you, but there’s absolutely nutrients in mcdonalds lol

let’s not make shit up to hate on fast food, we don’t need to.

because we don’t get enough social interaction and we’re desperate to at least have some people read a thing we said online, and ideally actually reply to it

no it isn’t

being standard isn’t an excuse, it makes it even more egregious.

i wish agents would at least try to not be insufferable about it, tell me “yeah i know, that’s the way it is” or something so i don’t feel like i’m trying to communicate with some sort of advanced fungus colony…

there are 2 solid low-cost mobile carriers here in sweden, and i literally do this with them. Just hop back and forth every 4 months and you get some sort of deal every single time.

It’s profoundly stupid and makes me hate modern society just that little bit more.

i have a much more expedient method called “stick a very long hygrometer into the dirt every hundred meters in a grid, and move towards increasing moisture”

Give hitler me give eat hitler me eat hitler give me eat hitler give me you

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