• 28 Posts
  • 846 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
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Cake day: June 15th, 2023

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  • 1995: Don’t buy books at the store, buy them online instead!

    2001: Don’t buy electronics from stores, buy them online instead!

    2004: Don’t buy any household goods at the store, buy them online instead!

    2007: Don’t buy groceries at the store, buy them online instead!

    2014: Don’t shop on your PC, tell this talking hockey puck what you want instead!

    2018: Don’t bother telling the puck what you want every month, sign up for a subscription instead!

    2024: Don’t shop, let the algorithm shop for you instead!

    2027: Don’t go to the bank, let Amazon handle all your personal finances for you instead!

    2038: Don’t manage your correspondences, appointments, social obligations, work, or personal hygiene yourself, let the Amazon Personal AutoSkeleton move you around and speak for you instead!

    20X6: Don’t use your pathetic flesh prison, upload your consciousness to the Amazon Digital Brain Cloud instead!