Bag of Olding: A very generously sized bag of holding, however it unfortunately speeds up the passage of time significantly inside it. Don’t store food in it!
Harder tack: Magically compressed ships biscuits, commissioned by an admiral who heard of lembas bread but found it too expensive. His corpse was found in the harbour waters a week later.
One contains enough calories to last you a week of hard work, but you need a chisel and a sledgehammer to crack it into pieces and one hand-sized biscuit weighs 3kg. It tastes like cement dust.
Scroll of summon wisp.
When used nothing appears, but you gain a speech impediment for 1d6 days.
Owo what a tewwible cuwse to put on youwselwf…
i hawe a fudden defiwe fow wabbit
But it is duck season.
How do I delete someone else’s comment?
You down’t :3
Become a moderator
*modewatow
ew
As always, the real cursed item is in the replies
Bag of Communal Holding
Content is shared with all other bags of communal holding in existence. Sometimes retrieving objects involves awkward hand contact if someone else is using their bag at the same time.
Not accidentally holding a strangers hand. This is the worst one by far.
Even more hilarious if you could accidentally pull out someone else trying to retrieve objects from the bag. Would be kind of awkward getting them back to their origin though…
A potion of True Healing… heals 1d8+2 damage, recipient MUST truthfully answer the next question they are asked. Sell the characters 6, but don’t tell them about the truth serum. Let them figure it out on their own.
Boots of Elvenkind… except Elves can hear you.
A bag of holding that contains infinite clowns. Every time it is opened, 1d4 clowns come out. The clowns are useless in combat and attempt to distract, annoy and mock the holder. While this could be used as a distraction, the clowns will follow the holder, drawing attention to them. You could create a table for what kind of clowns you get (mime clowns, pie throwing clowns, balloon animal clowns, magician clowns, etc). The clowns will wander off after 1d6 minutes. Where the clowns go and what they are (Illusions? Demons?) is unknown.
There’s so much role playing potential in the ability to create a giant mob of clowns at will by repeatedly opening and closing the bag. You almost don’t need anything else!
Spawn them as a distraction!
Use them to hide!
Plug any entry or hallway at will!
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies! (Eaten fresh off your face.)
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship!
Air drop them on your enemies! (Assuming they have a weight and are bound by gravity, they do damage - all you need is a bit of levitation, a tower, airship or a ceiling to hang from.)
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
The possibilities are truly endless.
Herd them ahead of you to clear traps
As a diabolical GM, I can think of so many ways to make these strategies backfire. :D
That’s half the fun! Sometimes, the true clown you spawn is yourself.
I can’t see any of these working as intended. Clowns don’t subscribe to reality
Spawn them as a distraction!
Some of them cause a big distraction that accidentally points directly towards those you don’t want to be seen.
Use them to hide!
One of them will look giant and big to hide you while the others honk and gesture/point behind, clearly showing where you are.
Build yourself a mountain of clowns to scale any wall!
Crabs in a bucket. None will let you climb. You must stay to hear their jokes…
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Shaving cream pies. Ain’t nobody got time to bake 30 coconut creams
Use their weight to bring down any air-/ship
They all blow up helium balloons to help it float. Unless you want it to float in which case their balloons turn into bowling balls at the last second with a big shrug.
Air drop them on their enemies!
See balloons
Just crush your entire party by spawning hundreds of them in a closed room!
Clown car logic. You’re all “crushed” but it’s just extremely difficult terrain.
Luckily, most of these arguments assume living clowns. Something that can be easily remedied, it just shifts the entire problem space to doing it fast enough!
On that note, what’s their EXP value?
Immortal Clowns of Jest. Zero XP and their death only fuels development of further abilities
If my PCs responded to the clowns this way, I would absolutely make the clowns demons and the “bag of holding” a portal to a circus themed layer of the Abyss. And that’s the campaign now.
It turns out the ruler of this layer of the abyss appreciates your lust for violence and mass murder. That’s probably not actually… good? For you?
I don’t know about you, but the prospect of becoming a warlock themed around blood, flesh and clownery sounds pretty sweet to me!
I’d definitely play that campaign.
I would definitely let you play that in my campaign. Also reminds me of that bad guy from One Piece.
They just despawn and it’s 1/10^(78) xp per clown.
A fraction of 1 EP for each atom in the universe.
Exactly this. Also, one of the clowns will have a trombone to play sad trombone noises at you.
Just crush your entire party by spawnibg hundreds of them in a closed room!
Relevant (semi-NSFL) scene from Invincible season 3.
Jesus…
That’s certainly not great, but this show has way worse.
Sell the bag to a lich to keep him from robbing graves, collect big $$$ for the unique magic item, and the bounty from the town
Never starve again with their endless supply of pies!
Probably bad that without the parentheses, I was already assuming this was some kind of horrific Sweeny Todd situation.
No, but the pies are a bit off, so they always give you the runs.
That’s just practical thinking right here! Someone else argued for shaving cream pies, which naturally leads to the counterpoint of cannibalism.
I have two I will be using in my next campaign:
Ring of attunement: Provides 1 extra attunement slot. (Requires attunement)
Event Staff: This staff allows the wielder to gain unquestioned entry into any “employees only” areas or zones otherwise off-limits to the public. Anyone (including actual staff or other officials) who sees the wielder in one of these areas will assume they are a known employee or other official who is granted special access to the area. Unfortunately, they will all also view the wielder as the least competent and least trustworthy employee or official with the organization. Any actions taken in the area are likely to be closely watched and highly scrutinized by any observer who would know better.
ETA: One from the current campaign in which I am a player character. Our DM thought of this one:
Bullet of Healing:
This magical bullet can be loaded into any firearm. Whomever is shot by this bullet first receives 1d6 piercing damage followed by 1d10 healing. If the initial damage causes recipient’s HP to fall below 0 before the bullet’s healing effects begin, they will fall unconscious and will not gain any healing effect from the bullet. Instead, one death save is automatically passed.
That bullet of healing is awesome. Would be great for a supernatural Wild West game. Which, is I think what I want to run next now.
The Ring of Attunement idea has come up before, and if I remember correctly there’s a class (Artificer?) that gets a bonus based on how many items they have attuned, making it a genuinely useful item in niche cases.
Riffing off the ring:
The Hand of Holding. When held, it can hold items for you and allow to use them with whatever ability you would normally have. Technically helpful in slightly extending your reach, and depending on the niceness of the GM may also mitigate curses or other effects that are triggered by holding the item, since you technically aren’t. You are still essentially wielding, using, and various other verbs-ing the item, so those still hamper you.
Haha I like it
I played a campaign where we had a dagger of healing. It worked great against undead (as intended by the DM) and also to torture information out of people (not intended by DM).
Dagger of purification
Can only be used to heal wounds inflicted more than 1 hour ago. Each recent use on the target reduces the effectiveness of the dagger’s healing powers.
Bag of folding.
A bag of holding except anything stored in it comes out folded in half.
Given how murderous some parties get this could become a bit of a problem!
Sounds really useful actually.
Emphasis on anything. I doubt the inkeeper will take kindly to being paid with coins folded in half.
Well that’s what you have a coin purse or primary bag of holding for. Assuming the hand retrieving items is not folded (which I would assume is safe to assume based on how bags of holding generally work), it could be used for forging, folding washing, making something really long by reinserting it repeatedly, or sabotaging by folding things that should not be foldable.
Folded in a random axis.
That indeed would make it significantly less useful.
Potion of Water Breathing: DOES NOT RETAIN AIR BREATHING
Ring of invisibility. Makes you invisible, but makes everyone else invisible to you as well.
Ring of (Logical) Invisibility v2. Makes you invisible except for your eye balls so that they can absorb light. You may now see but you appear as a pair of floating eyeballs.
V3, your eyeballs are only visible when your eyes are open.
An additional note here. With no visible eyelids, and nothing visible to protect the back of the eye, bright lights would be extremely painful.
So either double blinding effects of light based attacks, or halve the saves vs the same.
Like in Quake multiplayer… damn that was fun.
But people can see your footsteps cartoon style
If light travels through you then you would not leave a shadow.
Does glass leave a shadow?
Invisibility implies you are more transparent than glass…
It’s magic. It can make your footsteps visible.
It adjusts the depth map where you walk to appear as though something footprint-shaoed has sunk into the floor, as if in thick mud. Regardless of the surface - stone? still looks like someone sank into it a bit. When they run their hand over it, the floor is actually smooth as if nothing had happened, but the depth map makes it look like it.
Ring of minor invisibility - The ring is invisible, and only makes your body invisible, not any of your stuff
Or makes you smell horrible. Yes I just stole this from ‘cruelty squad’.
To see something, you need your retina to absorb light, and that makes it visible. Alternative version is ring of invisibility that makes all of you invisible except for eyes.
Sir Mix-a-Lot (unrelated) is a traveling potion salesman who shows up for my party at suspiciously specific times, and generally has discounted potions specifically tailored for whatever they happen to be doing at the time. For example, if they need to be really strong, he’ll have a bottle of Sir Flex-a-Lot’s Magical Muscle Maximizer, which does increase the strength of one’s muscles, but not of their bones or connective tissue (it was designed to be used only in bodybuilding competitions), so whenever the drinker does a STR check, they must also make a CON saving throw to avoid breaking a bone or tendon. Need to decipher an ancient text? Try Sir Scripts-a-Lot’s Polyglottal-in-a-bottle, which will let you read unknown languages, but also comprehend all unknown languages, even those of the plants and animals around you, making it very difficult to concentrate on any one thing. (inspired by https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/springtime)
Pathfinder 2nd edition’s rogue class has an ability chain that allows them to have already bought certain kinds of item, and they declare it while on the adventure already and decide they need it. “Oh yeah, I bought a spyglass when we were in that last town.” The lowest level is for adventuring gear-type stuff, and it’s usable like once per in-game week. Later tiers of it expand the kinds of items and the frequency. You do also mark off the gold the item would have cost.
I have to steal that for whenever I run a campaign again. Seems like an entertaining recurring character to also clue players in that something is going to happen
Cape of (Refugee) Flight: you gain the power to fly for your life.
Screaming Cloak of Invisibility: you’re invisible, but the cloak constantly screams, “HE’S OVER HERE!!!” and tries to give away your location.
The Tax Axe: raises both your taxes and your target’s with every swing.
I might actually steal that cloak for my D&D campaign lol
I was thinking something like flight but only in directions away from enemies.
Cape of (White) Flight could be fun, too.
:) I’m flattered. They’re fun things to come up with.
The Tax Axe might be the most evil weapon ever devised.
Wielded correctly, in the hands of someone self-sacrificial, it could rectify many of society’s wrongs.
I’m thinking more like, set up a carnival with axe throwing for the elites. Dont tell them the axe is cursed
I admire that you came up with a much more peaceful and creative approach. But mine might be more fun, if we can get a group together.
Ring of protection. Grants everyone around you protection in a fairly large radius. Might be useful for long range combat, maybe. Might also be useful to navigating certain environmental hazards.
Boots of Flying. They can fly, but only have a carry weight of a few pounds. If you’re more than say ten pounds, the little wings flap but gain no altitude. They are not autonomous. Might be useful in condunction with other magics to reduce weight.
Gauntlets of Ogre Might. Do not affect strength. They do tell you the odds of nearby ogres taking particular actions. They might do this, they might do that, and so on.
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Boots of Haste. Gain extra actions but large penalties to all checks. Haste makes waste. May be useful if combined with large bonuses or fixed outcomes (eg: DND diviner wizard).
Hammer of Striking. Social bonuses when organizing labor. Combat bonuses only when near many allies.
Pair this with the Sickle of Means. Does double damage and gives Ranger favored enemy bonuses against employers, nobility, land owners and clerics, so long as the wielder forswears ever becoming any of those things. When used to harvest grain, doubles the speed at which grain can be harvested and magically doubles the final yield of the harvest as well. However, if the grain is not freely and equitably distributed (especially if the wielder charges for it), the next time they use the sickle they will immediately fumble and critically hit themselves for max damage.
Sweaty Sword:
Really good sword, strong steel. The handle is wrapped in living leather harvested from the palms of a cursed pervert. It’s always slightly warmer than your hand and it exudes a sticky substance that enhances grip. Smells like corn.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of…food. It’s rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it’s made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
Emergency Shews:
Bubble gum that turns into one time use sandals. Once the flavor runs out, you have 30 seconds before the gum expands into shoes. The sizes seem to have been printed on the gum but they’ve long since faded or rubbed off. Durian flavor.
Dead Cat Bounce:
A black bottle with a cat eye painted on it. If you drink the contents and die due to falling from a great height, you will be revived immediately and launched with equivalent force in a random direction.
Survival Stew Balls:
A fried ball of…food. It’s rock hard, slightly too big to hold with one hand easily, completely impermeable, and covered in a flaky, delicate panko breaded crust. To eat, boil one in 5 gallons of water to produce a pot of stew. The flavor is different for every ball. Never cook two in the same pot at the same time. Wash the pot thoroughly within 6 hours after removing from heat. especially if it’s made of iron. Under no circumstances are you to reheat the left overs.
that’s some stuff you find in the lunch room of an SCP facility
It’s a furby right?
Sword of charisma: But it attracts bugs for some reason.
Amulet of protection: Stops heals too.
Boots of speed: Brakes not included.
Wand of light: Slightly radioactive.
Potion of restoration: Removes buffs as well, kills undead.
There was an older barbarian subclass that was immune to magic including beneficial magic. It was dumb and wonderful
Lol, is that from AD&D 1e?
Helm of Invincibility: you are invincible, but only to people who have Vince in their name, e.g. Vince, Vincent, some other name with Vince
It is I Vincenzo The Dragon Smiter, prepare to die!
Donk.
Also resistant to a single Vance (yes, that one) due to a pronunciation error during casting
