Ok this looks like a good place to share. Recently at work I got asked by several people if I already had kids or was married when I told them I was 30 and the first time I got asked I was so startled by the question I just replied that I was too young and this guy just says naw I’m 28 married and have a child.
And the other times I also got really nervous but managed to quickly change the topic.
All this time I’m thinking "bruuh why are you asking me if I’m married I haven’t even had my first kiss” and I realized later that 30 is in fact not too young even tho I definitely feel too young inside.
In my social circle in the UK everyone got married in their 30’s and started having kids mid to late 30’s. It’s not a race to get married, but the biological clock is there for having kids.
True but also I’ve known I don’t want kids for a long time.
It’s a personal preference, no children deserve my free time.
If your username checks out, I agree 😄
Gonna create an Addams family ass kid with a name like that
Different people have different lives. My ex was a married mother at 17, I was married with no chance of children at 27, my brother in law is pushing his luck with how old his wife and him will be when they’re ready to have kids. Sure my ex was too young, but I’ve known a 21 year old pregnant with her second that honestly seemed ready, though her husband could pick up some slack from how she told it.
As a 30yo unmarried asexual introvert, I also get totally thrown off when people ask if I’m married or have kids.
A few weeks ago somebody straight up asked me what my wife does for work and I had to process that for a second before I could even think of a response.
To quote T Rex: Feelings are boring, kissing is awesome.
Unless you are totally ace or something.
No just too much autism and a whole bunch of other shit going on that I never succeeded in this area.
Best of luck dude
Edit: dammit, gender non-specific dude
Dxde
Thanks, also dude is correct hehe
All love, fellow human, but fuck this energy.
Fight. And build. And work. And be ready to fail and try again.
fight, dammit!
My humble contest entry: Twice divorced, two teens old enough to drive, I’m still in my 30s (for awhile yet, anyway).
People are aiming to have kids at like 35 these days. This is the cutoff point, where pregnancy complications start getting more likely. Gotta get your life in order and get some stability. That may have been easier in the past.
The older I get the less I understand how people are able to even get to a position where they’re able to have kids comfortably. I feel like my life is just a constant mess of putting out one fire after another, not the mention the state of the greater world
I feel like my life is just a constant mess of putting out one fire after another
This is great preparation for having children.
And very likely not something I will put into practice haha
Needing to be responsible for a child would be too much for me, I would not be able to cope. I already get routinely overwhelmed and burnt out
Everyone has a plan till they
get hit in the mouthhave a child- Mike Tyson
You will never “be ready”. Even if you think you are - you have no idea what awaits you.
Every aspect of your life will change all the way down to your core values.
It’s a leap of faith. That’s all it is Miles. A leap of faith
You seem to be nailing responsibility though. Good on you for having that awareness.
My younger brother got married, had kids, got divorced and I don’t even have a girlfriend.
You got married? But we’re just kids… oh wait…
I definitely missed the starting gun, but now I’m too far behind so I’m just strolling along and taking paths where the race doesn’t go.I’m hiding in the bushes watching the race while eating a can of sardines.
For me, its them having grandchildren 🤦
Honestly that’s a better deal. If I could just skip infancy and early childhood to parenting young adults, that would be ideal.
I just don’t manage my autism well enough for constant yelling and stickiness (I struggled with the phrasing on this, but I’m very sure about what I settled on- my symptoms are not so severe that I am inherently incapable of parenthood, but it would take enough out of me that I would turn into sally field in Mrs. Doubtfire). Being able to spoil them, and knowing that there’s a handover coming and they’re going home would make it a lot easier.
Of course, grandparents end up as primary caregivers not infrequently and there’s no guarantee that it’ll stay a more removed relationship
That’s why I love being an auntie, but don’t want kids of my own. I love hanging around with the kids, but that’s only because I know I can send them back to their parents when I’m tired of them. The responsibility of looking after budgies by myself for almost 15 years (more if you count the childhood family pets) was enough. As much as I miss having birds, I’m ready to retire from any caregiving commitments.
I knew someone who had great grandparents who were younger than my mom.
The person was like 3 years old at the time… But given that family, by now she might have kids.
I love finding out that someone I graduated with has a kid who is now graduating, like damn I feel so old.
