“Si, Padre, I have a friend in Jesus, too. But the man of the house said to paint this room, so I paint this room.”

0$ to Apple services since turning their backs on Hong Kong.

This is the Kirk equivalent of buzzing the tower.

Liberace’s tomb just rattled.

The investigative committee: “Guten tag.”

“When you’re sleeping and don’t remember if you set your alarm.”

What a stupid thing to say. Organs are way too big to fit inside a chest.

may be second human disease wiped out after smallpox

It’s been not-a-drill since November 2024.

c/tenforward: “We put Windex in your coffee, you’re welcome.”

Tub butter > stick butter

If you scrape it out a little bit at a time, it makes it much easier to spread than a cold square.

[bagpipes intensify]

They shouldn’t have had to pay anything.

They should have been reimbursed for multi-generational injustice and trauma.

Guy’s got those Murder on the first date eyes.

Medical cat is checking your insurance sratus.

MAGA didn’t send their best.

What did he think was going to happen?

If it’s a land return why did they have to “buy” it?

“Knees weak, palms sweaty…”

The FIFA Greenpeace Award.