It’s the year 2031. NATO troops surrounded the Cremlin after a weekend of mostly chill driving through the Russian countryside. Picking up defectors here and there.
Russia still threatens with war if they don’t stop.
Everybody laughs. Love is in the air. Good times.
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Question: We’ve seen sand-filled missiles due to corruption and cronyism, and they were actually transfered to the front line expecting to be live munitions. How many Russian ICBMs do you think are truly functional between the “new” ones and the 70yo cold war hulks?
To be clear, I don’t revel in the idea of a war between the Ruskies and NATO, but Putin is certain to be wondering this, too. How effective are his strategic assets, truly? I’m sure the CIA has figured that out and is guiding US response on that intel. They know exactly how far an insecure dictator can be pushed.
It only takes one or two
Yeah and what would that do. Sure a lot of people would die but it won’t help Russia win the war. If they shoot their load and they destroyed say two cities, then everyone else will know that’s it. Launching the missiles would be literally the last thing that they ever do. Mutually assured destruction not required.
The best way to survive is to constantly threaten but never actually act. Eventually someone will do something about putting oil just die of old age. There isn’t really a way there’s ends with him being victorious.
Millions will die from the nuclear fallout and billions will starve from the following nuclear winter.
Nuclear war is terrifying
to be credible for a moment, nuclear war was never on the table to begin with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWKGYnO0Jf4
I’m going to watch this video later tonight, but I sincerely wonder what the US and NATO’s protocols are for rogue nuclear nations led by someone with nothing to lose.
Those are more hypothetical than real. Kim Jong Un has plenty to lose personally. Every dictator on Earth does. They live in mansions while their people starve, and that’s not nothing.
Pretty much all macro organisms on Earth will die. A nuclear winter would destroy all agriculture on Earth and basically eliminate all photosynthesis.
Could help against the current Trend of weather with the increase of Temperature
russia doesn’t have functional nukes
There’s a very good chance of that, but the consequences of being wrong are too high.
That said, there is an I-know-that-they-know-that-I-know game involved. We might not be able to chance Russians nukes working, but Putin has to be wondering if they work, too. If he launches one and it fizzles, the whole world will cheer NATO on while obliterate Putin’s regime in a conventional war. Therefore, he has all the more reasons to not launch them preemptively and let the question hang in the air.
I don’t know if I would bet the extinction of all life on Earth save for the most resilient bacteria on that assumption.
Suppose that through the Russian government’s kleptocracy, that after they spent billions on mansions and stolen exotic cars, that they put the rest into maintaining their nuclear arsenal.
russian civil war 2032 nato fuly joins 2033
Everybody laughs. There is no way to stop Nato, neither the bipartidism in your country. Laughing helps to release the anxiety of knowing you have no more power to choose.
It’s all Google now. G-wallet, G-keys of the house, G-irlfriend, G-health care, G-education.
Working for Youtube, Amazon and McDonalds is great. But there is no other choice.
Everything works so smooth that by 2040 the earth is not gonna be suitable for human life.
There is no way to stop Nato
BASED
bipartidismbipartisanism is unstoppableBuddy last year the Netherlands had 26 parties you could vote for. Which seems to be roughly average lol
Did one of those early AI models write this?
No, just a russian bot
Alright NCD, tell me your noncredible plan to beat Russia
Fuck it, *releases Florida-man*
There’s a whole lot of Russian infiltration into Floridaman circles these days
As long as we can control the bathsalts supply, Floridaman answers to us
The salts must flow
But the bath salts thing was a one time thing, Floridaman is all about those pills, always has been.
I suggest a slight modification on the Prigozhin plan.
Step 1: Hop on whatever vehicle you can find
Step 2: Casually drive to Moscow
Step 3 (Modified): Do NOT take Putin’s bribe.
Step 4: Make sure you don’t have to carry too much ammo back
Step 5: We did it!
I’ll copy and paste a bit I did in reply to a Russiabot for kicking Russia out of the Ukraine.
We tell Poland “Hulk? Smash.” and they rush across the border and reinforce Ukrainian positions. A US carrier group rolls up and sinks what remains of the Black Sea Fleet before the Admiral can get a second cup of coffee. Marines start landing in Sevastopol and the obligatory McDonalds is setup within 36 hours. F-22s body the Russian air force without even being seen; not because of stealth, but because Russians ain’t got radar no more. The Kerch Strait Bridge isn’t just bombed, but completely taken out from end to end. What remains of Russian ground positions west of Mariupol is full of soldiers who hear rumors that NATO POW camps will give you hot food and a warm blanket, and that’s sounding like a damn good deal by the end of the week.
Also cut off Belarus from any Russian support and let the people there do their thing. Bomb the railway connections between Russia and China, add a blockade between Russia and Iran.
And instead of just using McDonald’s on the frontline, add some A&Ws and really win some hearts and minds.
Throw in a Five Guys and I’ll start this party myself
Idk, enshittification even came for Five Guys in the end.
Is Uncle Sam paying?
Idk, enshittification even came for Five Guys in the end.
they fucked up 5guys? haven’t been in a while, what happened?
Lets skip the five guys and create the first international In-N-Out. Itd be funny if the Ukrainians get one before the Mexicans or Canadians.
Hearts and minds? I gotchu
*airdrops Stanley cups*
Hmmm.
Make them extra limited edition and promise the women of Russia even MORE limited runs if they bring us Putin’s head.
karelia is free
Ok. Poland reinforces Ukrainian positions, and immediately start pushing back the low morale, beaten down Russian troops. Sevastopool falls .
Then Putin uses a “tactical” nuke to destroy valid military targets in Ukraine. Then what happens?
50/50 chance Russian nukes just plain don’t work.
No matter if they do or not, beeline direct to Moscow, St Petersburg, Murmansk, and blockade the Kaliningrad exclave. Also, Russian troops elsewhere in the world, such as in Africa, are now big fat targets. NATO has a lot of non-nuclear response options here, and even nominal Russian allies like China won’t lodge a complaint once the nuclear taboo is broken.
So we live in a Marvel movie. Very cool.
You might have wondered into the wrong community.
Day one: Russian air force gets taken out by NATO air strikes.
Day two: remaining heavy weapons are mopped up by NATO air strikes.
Day three to one hundred: Russian meat waves get mowed down by NATO air strikes and artillery.
Day one hundred and one: Putin tries to launch nuclear attack, fails.
China.
Hear me out: Treaty of Aigun established Vladivostok on what was Chinese land - Yongmingcheng, where the russians built a western city/port for their pacific fleet. And the russian ‘east’; there’s a fantastic stretch of land that’s going to become quite livable due to climate change while china experiences a series of frustrations - inability to separate Taiwan from the west’s interference, inability to execute the 9-dash line’s ambitions to control the south china sea, and unity in the Australia-Indonesia-Philippines resistance to Chinese influence - why continue to waste resources where there’s nothing but resistence?
Look north. Russia doesn’t have the best army in the Donbas lol, when supplied the Ukrainians are tearing them to shreds - far more lost there than Afghanistan and Chechnya - mind boggling losses. Will the Russians really be able to stand up to a peer army?
And no one would twitch. Who’s going to jump to Russia’s aid?
Seems like a win.
I don’t think they will act directly against each other until they’ve dealt with the west. One attacking the other directly would just cement western dominance.
csto mabye would come to russias aid
Special forces find putin and put a nuke in his asshole, then he goes to see his government buddies and kaboom.
I think just a big wood chipper followed by a mobile reggae sound system bumping up the highway slowly, passing out food, medical supplies and weed to the inhabitants as they go past. Followed an hour later by ANOTHER sound system and several clearly branded flatbed trucks, with happy smiling people throwing candy and chocolate off the back to the re-assembled crowd.
Ain’t nobody stopping that parade.
Orbital bombardment with anti matter weaponry.
Democracy prevails
➡️ ⬇️ ➡️ ⬇️ ➡️ ⬇️
For Democracy!
⬆️➡️⬇️⬇️⬇️
Make American vodka superior to Russian.
That would be Kirkland Signature vodka.
I am 100% serious.
Also Tito’s
Before I discovered Kirkland, I would have agreed with you.
Kirkland is genuinely just as good, except a handle (1.75L) costs roughly as much as a normal Tito’s bottle (750ml).
I was born in Kirkland. My mom drank only the finest Vodka during pregnancy. Kirkland Vodka made my IQ 180, gave me a chiseled chin, and I give earth shattering orgasms when I shake hands.
Can I shake your hand?
Are you ready to have kids?
Can you get Kirkland vodka in Canada? I’ve seen Tito’s before but haven’t tried it.
If you got Costco, they sell Kirkland. Are they in Canada?
There are Costco’s but I haven’t seen any with alcohol sections. Actually we probably just don’t have grocery and alcohol in the same store it’s probably been the times I’ve been in the states melding in my ancient mostly forgotten memories.
Vodka is the easiest goddamn spirit to turn into a high-tier brand. There is barely any flavor to Vodka, and even an expert could not tell the difference between a $150 bottle of vodka and a $30 bottle in a blind taste test.
“We’ll wait and see if Trump is elected and pulls out of NATO first.”
I suppose it’s not too much to ask that everyone just tells Trump that they’ve done it. He’s not like he’ll check or anything.
No way, Republicans are too scared of doing anything that might anger him.
In case he poops his pants in rage?
shits his pants so hard he destroy’s fptp
I’d vote for that.
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I am quite curious if Japan will take back their Kuril Islands in case of war. Russia already pulled their equipment from the islands. I was surprised to find out that Japan and Russia (or better the USSR) never really signed a peace treaty after WWII. So it seems technically they are still at war
kazakstan japan war
Generally speaking wars are assumed to be over when the shooting has stopped and there’s been a change of government.
Russian foreign policy equals to domestic policy. They always bark outside when they have domestic issues, like people revolting against Putin. It is getting bit jarring to shift blame to NATO, and it is surprising that it works to any Russians.
sir/ma’am this is ncd
Why do they want to declare war on the Seattle Mariners?
As a Mariners fan it’s probably because we gave up on Kelenic
More likely, because we betrayed Geno.
My portfolio would skyrocket even more i fucking dare you!
We got a coalition of the willing, son!
Nuclear war?
You think they have brain power left to maintain those?
Well, they had thousands and honestly, only one or two functioning would be enough. And the odds are that they can scrape a few together.
Like those two nukes would make it past thad and patriot.
Nuclear sounds fun
Wow, there are some insane comments in here that just kinda wave away the spectre of nuclear war. I hope lemmy doesn’t become a hotbed of rabid liberals/centrists like reddit
You are obviously either lost and/or clueless lol. Run along now little troll.
This and other comments of yours here make it obvious you don’t know what this community is.
Lemmy world is literally made to be reddit in the fediverse lol
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Western military industrial complex:
Really? Can we start now?
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Putin won’t stop at Ukraine…
Good.
Keep on hoping Putler will stop here, Neville. He fucking won’t.
From what I read, Chamberlain wasn’t as weak and forgiving as it seems. He actually just tried to push back the inevitable while his country was preparing for war. GB was quite ill prepared at first
Yes, and?