Ironically I myself might fall under the group she allegedly thinks exists. But a critical part she (probably intentionally) misses, is that I didn’t “turn” trans because of online communities. People don’t “turn” trans, but explore their identities and figure it out, it’s a long process. The community merely helped me in figuring out what all my things together were. And that’s why the group she invented on the spot, doesn’t exist.
Before exposure to more queer stuff, I already knew I didn’t like having body hair, and long for having a womb, and so on… but I didn’t have a “name” for those together. I only knew I felt meh in my body and didn’t really feel ‘at home’. When I finally started to figure it out, it gradually ‘clicked’ and helped me!
To take a parallel. Just because formal English doesn’t distinguish “thou” and “you” anymore*, it doesn’t mean that English speakers don’t understand the concept of multiple people.
* Yeah, I know of ‘ye, you lot, tha, yinz, (all) y’all’, etc., shuttup shuttup ඞ. Bear with me for a second.
Or like how spoken Hungarian, Chinese, and Estonian do not distinguish gendered pronouns, instead having a neutral one. That doesn’t mean those people don’t know what a man, woman, or enby is.
And to hit the nail in the coffin even more. If a language like Russian distinguishes ‘blue’ and ‘breen’ (blue-green) as standalone colours in their own right, does that mean they can distinguish them and anglophones can’t?
No. People are familiar with them. It’s just that not all know the word for the concept. Knowing the concept-word helps in understanding, though, and so it’s time for a nice xkcd(explanation included for the lazy).
I don’t care if I’ve ranted too much, get a nice cookie here and enjoy. 🍪
The anti trans crowd aren’t unequipped to describe what they are seeing. They aren’t interested in the journey so they don’t look at the map. They don’t see the inner journey of doubt, realization, to empowering actualization.
To them a person just decides they are going to be someone new and it becomes taboo to ever reference the person they knew. They are uncurious about what happened to that person and don’t know that what looks like a decision is a realization. No one walks them through the nightmare period of endless self doubt and denial. They have no clue about any part of the struggle.
The real heart break is that trans art is amazing at sharing the experience but the anti trans folks are uncurious and siloed in their media consumption so they don’t explore anything they don’t know.
I’m probably an egg (by which I mean I’m pretty sure I’m trans and would love to take a pill right now to make it so that I had always been a dude, but I don’t know that I’d take one that turned me into a man now, because I don’t know if it’s worth it to explain it to everyone. I also don’t think I’m actually experiencing dysphoria, just aware that I’m probably a man. I think that counts as an egg for some people, trans and closeted for others, and probably cis [lol] for transmedicalists).
If I ever do come out, it’s probably going to seem sudden as fuck to a bunch of people, because I’ve already thought about it for years, so I’ll have everything planned out as efficiently as possible and ready to go the second I decide to transition. I’ll come out to people after I’ve started hormones and right before it becomes noticeable, which I’ll time to coincide with a top surgery (my mother died young of breast cancer that was diagnosed when she was within a few years of my age, and I’m medically eligible for a full mastectomy). That might be wishful thinking, but at least from here, I think I can be patient about it.
The important indicator imo isn’t dysphoria per se, but euphoria. If you for example were to feel fine either way but feel happier being a guy, then that’s a good one.
The way I came out was basically figure out how certain I was of it, then tell to my most trusted people, then spread outward.
Edit: you also don’t have the obligation to explain it to anyone. Just as nobody is owed to explain to others that they’re cis, so too is nobody owed to explain their transhood. It does help to communicate, though, but think about it at your own pace.
Only you yourself can decide for yourself who you are. Experiment, try out, do what helps. Whatever you feel best, be that guy-, gal-, enbyhood or whatever else, it’s all valid. Feel free to ask me anything!
Yeah it would have been easy for my parents to think it came on suddenly, hell I had a beard when I came out. I was also heavily involved in trans forums to the point my username was well known to the people there every day, I had been out to my friends for nearly a year, I’d known I wasn’t cis for over two years, and I’d been struggling with dysphoria and the desire to be a girl/woman my entire life. It’s just that I’d tried to go all in on masculinity in the hopes it would help and it didn’t
Yep, that’s correct.
Ironically I myself might fall under the group she allegedly thinks exists. But a critical part she (probably intentionally) misses, is that I didn’t “turn” trans because of online communities. People don’t “turn” trans, but explore their identities and figure it out, it’s a long process. The community merely helped me in figuring out what all my things together were. And that’s why the group she invented on the spot, doesn’t exist.
Before exposure to more queer stuff, I already knew I didn’t like having body hair, and long for having a womb, and so on… but I didn’t have a “name” for those together. I only knew I felt meh in my body and didn’t really feel ‘at home’. When I finally started to figure it out, it gradually ‘clicked’ and helped me!
To take a parallel. Just because formal English doesn’t distinguish “thou” and “you” anymore*, it doesn’t mean that English speakers don’t understand the concept of multiple people.
* Yeah, I know of ‘ye, you lot, tha, yinz, (all) y’all’, etc., shuttup shuttup ඞ. Bear with me for a second.
Or like how spoken Hungarian, Chinese, and Estonian do not distinguish gendered pronouns, instead having a neutral one. That doesn’t mean those people don’t know what a man, woman, or enby is.
And to hit the nail in the coffin even more. If a language like Russian distinguishes ‘blue’ and ‘breen’ (blue-green) as standalone colours in their own right, does that mean they can distinguish them and anglophones can’t?
No. People are familiar with them. It’s just that not all know the word for the concept. Knowing the concept-word helps in understanding, though, and so it’s time for a nice xkcd (explanation included for the lazy).
I don’t care if I’ve ranted too much, get a nice cookie here and enjoy. 🍪
The anti trans crowd aren’t unequipped to describe what they are seeing. They aren’t interested in the journey so they don’t look at the map. They don’t see the inner journey of doubt, realization, to empowering actualization.
To them a person just decides they are going to be someone new and it becomes taboo to ever reference the person they knew. They are uncurious about what happened to that person and don’t know that what looks like a decision is a realization. No one walks them through the nightmare period of endless self doubt and denial. They have no clue about any part of the struggle.
The real heart break is that trans art is amazing at sharing the experience but the anti trans folks are uncurious and siloed in their media consumption so they don’t explore anything they don’t know.
I’m probably an egg (by which I mean I’m pretty sure I’m trans and would love to take a pill right now to make it so that I had always been a dude, but I don’t know that I’d take one that turned me into a man now, because I don’t know if it’s worth it to explain it to everyone. I also don’t think I’m actually experiencing dysphoria, just aware that I’m probably a man. I think that counts as an egg for some people, trans and closeted for others, and probably cis [lol] for transmedicalists).
If I ever do come out, it’s probably going to seem sudden as fuck to a bunch of people, because I’ve already thought about it for years, so I’ll have everything planned out as efficiently as possible and ready to go the second I decide to transition. I’ll come out to people after I’ve started hormones and right before it becomes noticeable, which I’ll time to coincide with a top surgery (my mother died young of breast cancer that was diagnosed when she was within a few years of my age, and I’m medically eligible for a full mastectomy). That might be wishful thinking, but at least from here, I think I can be patient about it.
The important indicator imo isn’t dysphoria per se, but euphoria. If you for example were to feel fine either way but feel happier being a guy, then that’s a good one.
The way I came out was basically figure out how certain I was of it, then tell to my most trusted people, then spread outward.
Edit: you also don’t have the obligation to explain it to anyone. Just as nobody is owed to explain to others that they’re cis, so too is nobody owed to explain their transhood. It does help to communicate, though, but think about it at your own pace.
Only you yourself can decide for yourself who you are. Experiment, try out, do what helps. Whatever you feel best, be that guy-, gal-, enbyhood or whatever else, it’s all valid. Feel free to ask me anything!
Yeah it would have been easy for my parents to think it came on suddenly, hell I had a beard when I came out. I was also heavily involved in trans forums to the point my username was well known to the people there every day, I had been out to my friends for nearly a year, I’d known I wasn’t cis for over two years, and I’d been struggling with dysphoria and the desire to be a girl/woman my entire life. It’s just that I’d tried to go all in on masculinity in the hopes it would help and it didn’t
guy who’s really into greasing his hair and listening to elvis, discovers elvis impersonators and “suddenly” starts wanting to impersonate elvis.
we really have to put a stop to this rampant presleyism, it’s harming our children
He ain’t nothing but a hound dog!