Use your safe word.
Too early
A safe word is never early. It is used precisely when it needs to be.
no h they are saying their safe phrase is “too early!”
The semaphore system is a lot easier to learn, and lets you signal when the play needs to slow down instead of outright stopping. And who can remember the safe word mid-scene anyways?
Alright I am at question 23, but this was NOT easier to learn.
god damn it, i knew i was too late
What’s the situation? Are we talking argument or foreplay?
Yes
Alright, count me in.
We call this “angaroused”
Taking this, uh, serious for a second: depends on why she’s doing that, no? Did I just try to kill her? Did I catch her eating my cake? Do I have a rare disease whose symptoms are alleviated by human spit all over the face? Are we prisoners of a mad scientist who’s drugged her to force us to fight each other to the death?
I’ve actually had this happen to me. I was dating a woman for two years. we went out with her friends having dinner. it was a nice time. after we left the restaurant she started crying and telling me what an asshole I was because I didn’t brag about my ivy league degree during the dinner. I told her I don’t care about that stuff, and she full bore slapped me and spat at me and start telling me what a fucking loser I was. (she had a history of screaming at me when she was drunk previously, but had never hit me before, and was sober during this incident).
I simply left. Turn around and walked away quickly. She followed me home and banged on my door begging for forgiveness. We broke up a week later officially. She stalked me for 6 months afterwards and kept leaving me weird voicemails. She found a new boyfriend 3 weeks later and like told me how small his dick was and how she wanted me back.
My next girlfriend pulled a similar stunt, but didn’t hit me. She verbally screamed at me and threatened me with a knife because I wasn’t impressing her friends and I was a jerk for not bragging about my education to them. Dumped her too.
I will never understand violent and hostile people who think they have the right to assault and batter you for not doing what they want you to do. Sadly most anyone I have talked to IRL about these incidents tells me I was at fault for not ‘making your woman happy’.
What a subtle way to brag about your Ivy League degree.
- written on Arch
other people care about it a lot. it’s annoying. it only gets worse as i get older.
From now on just tell people you went to community college.
I don’t lie to people.
Just don’t tell people until much later. Wow I can’t believe how toxic people get about it!
if you do that they call you a liar and betrayer. because they make assumptions about you and they get angry when those assumptions were wrong. most folks don’t live in a complex reality where people on the margins like me exist, so they pretend we don’t.
for example people love to shit on people from my school esp because most people don’t know anyone from it. and they aren’t wrong, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. but if you ‘call them out’ then think you are ‘one of the enemy’ or they are angry because you embarrassed them for showing them what an asshole they were for making a generalization that isn’t true. any article about kids like me who to go schools like that… 99% of the comments on it are people saying we have no right to complain and our lives are perfect and wonderful… or we are told we don’t deserve to be there if we have any struggles.
there is no winning. the people who don’t care are far and few. the vast majority of people don’t take you as you are, they judge the shit out of you based on your brand-name associations, or lack thereof. they can’t see you as a person, they see you as a brand.
Yeah… So I recent learned that Borderline Personality Disorder is disturbingly high amongst the total population, near 6%.
You are describing the classic “I hate you, don’t leave me.”
You didn’t get stabbed so consider it a good result.
i don’t think she was borderline, i think she was just a selfish jerk who never cared about me, just about using me.
That sounds like insanity. Apparently there are women who like misogynistic assholes. Sounds like conditioning. Or they’re off their meds.
There lots of women who are bad people who are deeply sexist and racist.
But a lot of white knights refuse to believe that’s possible.
In most contexts, the immediate, first correct step is to turn around and walk away. Doing this takes a presence of mind that can be challenging to maintain in the middle of a heated argument, though. When you’re young, and inexperienced, romantic attachment often becomes obsession. Obsession is hard to detach from when needed, such as during an argument.
Actions speak louder than words, also, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of love.
Context really does matter. For some couples that sounds a lot like the start of some fun times you’d be a fool to walk away from
According to television, you are supposed to grab her by the hair and give her an angry kiss.
Thish will turn her shtraight?
Or gay.
“Yes, mommy!”
I know this is a joke but the correct answer is to get the fuck out. Out of the situation, out of the house, and out of the relationship. Immediately. Physical abuse is not excusable and should never be accepted.
what if you like it tho 🥺
Just because you like it in consensual play doesn’t mean you’ll like it in abusive situations. And even if you do find yourself enjoying the abuse, it’s still better to walk away. Abusers have a way of making you into someone you hate and they often escalate things. Then therapy might help you unpack it, because you really don’t want to find yourself preferring an abusive partner
Even if you like it, if you didn’t give prior consent you need to leave.
but what if i like it anyway tho 🥺
then you need therapy
Then you take what you learned and you still walk away and you find someone who will do it safely. Or you stay in the relationship, flash forward several years, and wonder why you’re miserable
Every time this has happened to me she was riding me so I just went with it.
Say more
Let her sister lead the talk while searching for my pants
My girlfriend wouldn’t do something like this.
Beyond that, if my girlfriend were the type of person to abuse me — the answer is that I’d likely shove her out of my personal space and leave the area.
