They feed on it. They’re attention vampires.

They could always run to Louisiana.

Buttered toast with peanut butter. If you can get some homemade apple butter to make it a sandwich, now that’s the best thing ever.

Okay so hear me out: LSD mace.

If you can drop 4 tabs and still stand up, in a tree, then you deserve to have a license - and some tags - to hunt dinosaurs.

So it’s a retarded Winchester House?

Kindly don’t associate AC/DC with the Orange Jackass.

I can’t wait until it comes out that the contractors did a shit job, the gold is so spray paint, the contractors never got paid, Trump embezzled every possible cent, and the things is a decaying mess before the decade is out.

Only if it’s from natural causes. In case you hadn’t figured it out sooner, he’d otherwise become a martyr. You think the Charlie Kirk stupidity is bad? Imagine how bad it world be if the cult’s object of worship was popped. Such a martyrdom would give the cult something to rally around after his end. If he dies naturally, however, the cult is FAR more likely to descend into infighting with a side of conspiracy theory, and tear itself apart as all the horrible people tried to scramble for whatever they could get by stomping on each other. Cults are complex monsters but have ways to survive the death of their leaders.

He appeared in Robot Chicken and admitted that he was never all that clear on his motivations.

Insects have hair that serves several purposes, and birds can have feathers that resemble hair. Also there are mammals that lay eggs so there’s that too.

They’re U-social parasitoids; one reproducing female, one fertile male, and a large number of sterile male workers. They infest human areas and manipulate them into protecting their nests. Gargamel tried to inhibit their spread by introducing a sterile female to this colony after an unknown event caused their breeding female to disappear. Likely the colony would have raided another colony for its female if they had located one, making Gargamel’s intervention necessary to prevent them looking for a fertile replacement queen.

I looked it up and she was added in 1966 - Smurfette is a boomer. Incidentally I learned that they retconned in female smurfs starting in 2008. Also, here’s my disgustingly necessary condemnation of rule 34.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smurfette

This means that Gargamel was heroically working to contain the infestation and researching a cure.

probably

You mean gold leaf and spray paint?

That’s the least problematic result. "We all love meaty food and we know you don’t so we didn’t invite you to the Delicious Meat Showcase.’

All these folks buying gold and my apocalypse plan just involves a handle of whiskey and one bullet.

It seems to leave out autocratic leaders of countries with equivalent wealth and greater power, such as Prince Bonesaw and Vlad Putler.