I don’t need advice, I would appreciate if you just listened or provided your opinion but not telling me what to do or how to think, please.
I don’t wanna focus too hard on labels or what others think, but I still do wonder for not just me, but for people like me.
I already know stuff like to break the bad habit of reducing myself to a label, which I am trying to do.
That’s why, although there are many things that apply to me, like “autistic”, “trans”, “demiboy”, etc. I will not go around saying these words to describe me all the time.
But anyway, I ranted about this yesterday and thought people wouldn’t respond well for some reason, but the first thing I saw when I searched up “demiboy” was a person asking what a demiboy is.
The comments were full of people saying stuff like demiboys who are “assigned female at birth” are tomboys or just women who want to feel special.
I just wonder why people don’t realize that trans men and nonbinary and anything in between is a valid, real thing and not just people who want to feel special.
There is also something I saw calling a gay trans man “hetero” on TikTok, when a gay trans man and a hetero woman are definitely different, as are lesbians and straight trans men, etc.
And people who are non-binary are valid, real, and genuinely don’t want to feel special, but just don’t feel strictly like male or female.
You can put your experiences in the comments, by the way.
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The comments were full of people saying stuff like demiboys who are “assigned female at birth” are tomboys or just women who want to feel special.
This feels transphobic and shitty, I wouldn’t give it a lot of weight
It was trans people saying it but trans people can still be transphobic (ahem ahem Blair White) and it was the “truscum” community saying this
Truscum is just another branch like r/detrans: astroTERFed to hell. Bad actors don’t deserve attention.
I would appreciate if you just listened or provided your opinion but not telling me what to do or how to think, please.
Done.
People as a whole really like to get caught up in labels for things because it helps them categorize. It’s hardwired into our pattern seeking behavior to try and fit everything into neat little boxes. However sexuality and gender as a whole are pretty messy in practice and not everything fits neatly into those boxes. When someone refers to themselves or others with a label like “trans” all that means is that they are not cis. The exact specifics are unknown until you talk to them more.
Agreed, that makes sense
Even supportive cis people use cringe language when talking about trans people and they overthink and confuse themselves. Add in all the bad actors and it’s all so frustrating.
Yeahhhh
It’s so frustrating when your own experiences are belittled and labelled as “wanting to feel special.”
For me, finding and claiming a label is me pursuing the feeling of belonging and feeling normal, not trying to stand out.
Sorry people are so shitty.
Those types of people who say those things are very self-centered. An anecdote but back when I had no boundaries, there was this “friend” who liked to misgender me, and had unsavory opinions on trans people in general including that one, and when I wasn’t able to interact with them for an extended period of time due to my high workload in school, they took it personally even though they also made no effort of contacting me. Talk about wanting to feel special.
I think it is way too easy to get sucked in by labels. It’s natural to want to label things because it helps us gain understanding. If you become stuck on a label, you may end up using the label to define yourself without really exploring.
Is it wrong to identify with a label and use it to express yourself? I don’t think so In every case. I could use hetero and cis to describe myself, but I think wrapping myself in those are pointless and trying to forge an identity around them might be harmful. It might be different as a minority looking for a place to belong. Being married defines me, but I also define my marriage.
This is a perfect explanation, thanks!
