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Funeral Homes hate the Government.
They are incredibly rude to the families receiving financial assistance, it takes 3 months for them to pay us, and did you know that if you don’t have a will they cut your step-children out of the process entirely?
We had one gentleman in our care whose only living family was his step-daughter. Because there were no blood relatives and no will the Public Guardian took control of his disposition and the step-daughter had no say in anything that happened with him. Wasn’t allowed to keep a portion of the ashes, the Funeral Director had to fight just to allow the step-daughter a brief final visitation.
This is also true for children under 18. Your 17 year old child has no say in your disposition if you have no other living relatives.
Have a will people, if for no other reason than to allow your loved ones to decide how they will grieve rather than some indifferent bureaucrat.
Anyone using a phone hates clankers.
There’s one automated system I need to call regularly at work that does not give me the option of dialing numbers and forces me to speak to it. It lists the options it can understand, but I can’t just press a number to move on. Then it asks me to say and spell my first name, then say my last name (which it guesses the spelling of incorrectly) and pretends to type while it’s processing. Why are we doing this?
Arborists hate Bradford pear trees. They’re the ones that have white flowers and smell like cum. That’s not even why we hate them though.
Firemen hate pedophiles
Teachers hate pedophiles
Doctors hate pedophiles
Lawyers hate pedophiles
Liberals hate pedophiles
Conservatives hate pedophiles
Independents hate pedophiles
Where’s the fucking list Donny? Give us the list you fat orange fuck. We know you’re on it, and so do you. How did you think this was going to pan-out, dumbass?
Conservatives hate pedophiles
I wish this was really a blanket rule.
Conservatives hate pedophiles
Unless it’s their own, then “he’s saving a young girl from extreme poverty”/“she’s teaching a lucky boy a special lesson”/“was a human after all, no one is perfect”.
Shitlibs that pretend Bill Clinton and Joe Biden aren’t pedos give me a fucking headache. Also Bill Gates and Alan Dershowitz.
Bill Clinton would be unsurprising. He might be just a run of the mill philanderer, though. I haven’t seen any legitimate reason to suspect Biden. Of course I spent 20 years thinking Michael Jackson was just a weird dude with a Peter Pan complex and might legitimately not have been a pedo, so maybe I just don’t have a very good pedodar.
I was never sure about MJ, but I know that he was physically and sexually abused by members of his family. Dershowitz tried to push for lowering the age of consent to 14. Bill Gates was on the “Lolita Express”. No one associated with Epstein that went to his island is not a pedo, or at least a pedo enabler.
Proctologists hate things without a flared base.
“An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but not this way!”
Software devs hate users
Software devs also hate UX/UI Designers.
And Product Owners.
And Scrum Masters.
And Software Architects.
And Security/Compliance Managers.
And QA Testers.
And worst of all… Software devs.Damned software devs, they ruined software!
Software devs sure are a contentious bunch
You’ve just made an enemy for life!
And themselves from a month ago…
… when they said to themselves "This little piece of code is fine, I don’t need to change it now. I’ll just refactor it later. "
And technology. That’s why they all fantasize about living on farms
Software engineers hate MBAs. It’s like they live in a fantasy world where everything works perfectly and can be done in 3 days and can read your mind.
I know q-tips aren’t safe or whatever but man it feels too good to stop.
They’re perfectly safe. Just pinch it towards the end you’re using, can’t do too deep that way.
I bought metal earwax spoons. Sure, q-tips feel great and all, but pulling out the clod of wax actually responsible for the itch is divine
What do you mean, not safe? I always thought “do not use in your ear canal” was just a joke they wrote on the packaging. Like, actually good one, what else are you gonna do with it?
Q-tips aren’t meant to go in the ear the same way adult novelty toys aren’t meant to go in the butt.
They are called novelty toys because the countries they are made in have laws against adult toys but not novelty items.
That’s my point - Q-tips and novelty toys are both more commonly used for their off-label functionality because listing that on the label is inconvenient for the maker.
They’re also used as cleaning tips for small/targeted applications, especially when you don’t want lint from a Kleenex or paper towel lingering. Makeup application/removal and electronics cleaning, for example.
I think (not a doctor) the ear thing is because if you go too deep you can cause some serious damage, and they can make wax buildup worse by compacting it. If you stay close to the ear opening, and do circular motions to swipe wax away, and clean your ears often enough that you don’t get dense wax build up, and don’t “double dip” to introduce potential pathogens, then I think they’re pretty safe to use? But that’s too many caveats for lots of people, so I think ENTs often deal with people damaging themselves with them.
sysadmins hate end users because end users suck.
This brought to mind a collection of asshole admin stories from the early internet. With a bit of googling, it was The Bastard Operator From Hell. God, I haven’t thought of those since the 90s. I can’t believe I could even recall something like that.
Anyway, fuck users.
They are still ongoing!
Hear hear
Dentists hate 1, 16, 17, and 32.
I don’t even have those anymore and now their absence is causing problems.
Photo editors hate:
Enhance! Just keep enhancing!
I need to sit down and actually watch Red Dwarf sometime. Like I did once watch the first few episodes when I was a teenager but I was way too young to fully appreciate it
RED DWAAAAAAAAAAAAARF!!!
Best live action show ever.
Eye doctors hate bungee cords. Be careful with those! ER doctors hate 4th of July.
ER Docters hate
- “well it started 6 months ago… And since then it is more or less present” -> why are you here?
- everything firework related -> you really thought it would be cool to make a firework bomb?
- old people that are dropped by family members on a Friday night and claim the maggots just appeared like 10 minutes ago -> really?
- people who, after a complete workup expect miracles -> really?
- (drug induced) aggression -> look I am trying to help you here dude
- recurrent psychiatric patients that are not treated properly or untreatable -> hey you again, same medication? Wow you were here 7 hours ago…
… I think the list might go on and on
Thank you for your service
Psychoanalysts hate those blotchy black & white images of my mother’s pussy giving birth to my father who is wielding a knife with my name written along the hilt. “Stop bringing these fucking drawings in here!” she yells. God forbid a man have hobbies.
😶
Electrical engineers hate OrCAD, seriously. I keep a spare file on all of my work computers collecting when I see someone on line saying OrCAD sucks. Brings me comfort when the program crashes for the 5th time that day
Data (dwh) people hate Excel
As someone who used to work with “large” (to normal people; 10k-60k rows up to maybe 70 columns) datasets in Excel exclusively, I also hate Excel.
Me too!
I hate working with other people’s spreadsheets.
Or my old spreadsheets.
The worst is “can you just add a small feature” to a huge, sprawling, mission-critical, often reused spreadsheet.
But I love how quick and powerful it is to spin up a new spreadsheet to analyze something or clean up messy data!
dude you can hate but 80% of “data” still.on excel. I’m in my third global company and people still control things on excel. and 5% power bi (some from excel) hahahahaha
Wait you mean your organization doesn’t use some ludicrously expensive hosted database solution or 3 to aggregate data then instead of natively working with the data in that database it gets exported and transformed on a local machine which may or may not havd backups then ask the database people about weird data quirks coming from the local transformations performed on the data
