My wife and I are going to a concert in a few months which is considered ‘girl pop’ and we have standing tickets. I wanted to get a look at what a show by this artist is like, so I search YouTube just to find it’s a bunch of young adult woman screaming anytime something is done like a dance move as an example, but this just isn’t me.
I have a worry that someone is going to start filming me for being ‘grumpy’ or whatever, usually I wouldn’t think this much into it, but I’m already going to be sticking out like a sore thumb and in the current year I always assume I’m in the background of someone’s video at any given moment and I don’t want my awkwardness being confused for anything else other than what it is.
Am I in over my head, or should I just not overthink it and try to enjoy myself?
Enjoy yourself, have fun with your wife, and don’t overhtink-it, your dick won’t fly away
Dammit, won’t be able to make an insurance claim now
Eh, what would $24.99 do for your bank account anyway?
Bring me up to - £11.88
Excellent jib, sir, particularly the cut.
You are overthinking it. Just enjoy yourself and take ear protection — besides the concert being loud, teenage girls scream really loud.
You’ll be among the pool of husbands and dads who also had to go. Enjoy not waiting for the bathroom the whole concert.
But yes, you are overthinking it. Go have fun and do what you do naturally. Maybe you don’t have to constantly be giddy every second for 2 hours.
I’m also in my 30s. I’ve been to a bunch of “girly” concerts with my wife and have had a great time at all of them.
It’s much easier to enjoy life when you let go of notions of what you should or should not be enjoying. Music doesn’t need to be gendered. You can just enjoy it for what it is.
In fact, I’d extend the idea to countless other facets of life: there’s so much pointless gendering in society that does a huge disservice to everyone, men included. I’ll give you a dumb example: I used to hold the notion in my younger years that if I were given a purse to hold, that I had to hold the purse in such a way to telegraph that it wasn’t actually my purse. Like grasp it like some kind of ape man or something. Like… What is the fucking point in that? It’s so goddamn dumb and childish. Now I often take turns holding my wife’s purse (it can be a bit heavy because it also doubles as a diaper bag for our toddler) and don’t give a single fuck about doing so.
I can give you countless other examples where I was raised with incredibly damaging ideas ultimately stemming from toxic masculinity that I have painstakingly excised from my psyche.
Put on your shortest shorts, ask your wife to do your makeup, and dance like no one is watching.
One of my favorite things about getting older is that I give less of a shit about anyone else’s opinion, every year. When you’re 40, you’re gonna laugh at how worked up you got about this.
If you go and decide you like it then explore other girly things too.
Fuck gender norms, do whatever sounds interesting.
Own it or stay home. By owning it, I mean just enjoy yourself & I guarantee all is good. I can’t say the same about the demographics of the fan base. People are people and just do your best, don’t assume anything , be kind & direct when speaking & just present the best you.
Had the same feelings going to a Taylor Swift concert with my grilfriend as a middle age man. Turns out, nobody paid attention to me because they where to busy screaming their lungs out and filming the show. Yeah, I could be a background stander in someone’s video, but they definitely would be the main character, not me. Everybody was there to have a good time and enjoy the artists and other people’s outfit. Don’t worry, you’ll do fine. Especially if you also like the music, that will be a connection. And usually the crowd for these artists will make you forget being uncomfortable and you start dancing and singing yourself a bit. Because if you see people crying, screaming, moving as if they are epilleptic but actually are dancing, you are less bothered with how you yourself look. Only regret I had was that I didn’t get to experience the whole living up to the concert feeling, just because of the anxiety.
You’re going with your wife. She’s your human Teflon.
As a single adult man any space not specifically targeted to you will draw heat and dirty looks. With a wife and/or kids to hide behind the world is yours for the taking.
Guy over 30 here. I went to a PVRIS concert recently, and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon. Also the opener was Scene Queen. I definitely didn’t fit into the demographic, but I didn’t feel like I was sticking out either.
It was an awesome concert. IMO you’re overthinking it. Just have fun.
and apparently the singer is a LGBT icon.
Anyone who sees this and doesn’t immediately go “oh they’re gay as fuck” needs to replace the batteries in their gaydar:
Oh, new batteries won’t help. Mine is completely busted.
Don’t let your perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. Don’t let your expectation of other people’s perception of femininity and masculinity stop you. It’s all made up.
Having said that, you don’t have to force yourself to enjoy something you don’t enjoy. However, if you do decide to go, I would recommend to embrace it and try to find enjoyable aspects to the experience.
Ninja edit: I agree that being filmed at a concert isn’t always nice. Especially because many people seem unaware that not everybody wants to be filmed.I agree with all of this. The post is one of those many you come across and think “wow heteronormativity really makes people scared of the most normal things”. But I get it, no judgement of course, it’s society that needs a rewrite
I think It’s because I don’t really see myself as either, I struggle with both. I know it’s all made up, but it’s all I ever see people talk about online and that could be anyone you walk past, I mean not everybody is chronically online as others, but they still have their views.
Just the other day, some kids lost their ball in a tree, so I go over to try and help (unsuccessfully) and then a man of similar Age and height just comes over and climbs into the tree in front of these kids, and I’m just standing there looking up with them, I felt like a lesser man at that moment, and it was pointed out to me once that I seem to seek the validation of woman for some reason.
Sorry, didn’t mean to get deep, but your comment got me thinking haha
A lesser man wouldn’t have tried to help in the first place.
Just be yourself, dude.
damn that sucks :/
i wouldn’t bother to much asking about manliness around these parts, if it was all just made up as they say they wouldn’t care when i call them the wrong pronouns since that’s just made up as well
turns out things that are “just made up” still matter
but you’ve got a whole real life wife so that counts for a bundle👍
Just because it’s a construct doesn’t mean some people can’t have preferred pronouns that they would like to have respected.
People don’t go to concerts to look at the audience. If anyone has a problem they are a gate keeping moron.
You are overthinking it. No one cares. Just do what you have to do.
The people who judge will be out of sight in a few hours but the regret of not going will be with you till you die.
You will probably feel “out of place” and there will probably be few people of your demographic… But no one cares. If you enjoy your time with your wife and enjoy the concert, it doesn’t really matter.
I been to a bunch of goth metal concerts as a middle aged man. It’s mostly young people dressed in black goth apparel. I’m there as a serious middle aged guy in a normal T-shirt and jeans. It’s never been a problem. Many times the other concert goers will be quite welcoming to share their music taste with someone.
I’m at “extreme” metal shows. Usually in business casual, and I used to joke that I was a studded leather bracelet and a tattoo under their minimum. Nobody cares, hell, I got hit on by someone asking whose dad I was.
