Two days ago, I did an AMA about my current life situation, and I really enjoyed it. I find these super fun for some reason, so I’m back with another one! Same request as last time: please, no judgment or unkind replies. Thank you! 🤍
Two days ago, I did an AMA about my current life situation, and I really enjoyed it. I find these super fun for some reason, so I’m back with another one! Same request as last time: please, no judgment or unkind replies. Thank you! 🤍
18 since February.
I was afraid you’d say that.
I left home at 17 and shacked up with a 38 year old man. I also did it for the security. Home life wasn’t stable and how was I supposed to make it on my own? Worst decision of my life. He was a very subtle manipulator. It took years of therapy to undo what that relationship did.
Now that I’m 35, I’m not interested in close friendship or romantic/sexual relationships with men or women in their late teens to even mid twenties. That’s not meant as an insult to that demographic, there’s nothing wrong with them. A person’s brain isn’t finished developing until well into their twenties, and someone with only a handful of years of adult life experience has very little in common with an older adult. It’s like if you were to bed down with a 14 year old. There’s nothing wrong with being 14, they’re just in a profoundly different stage of their life.
I fully expect you to ignore this. 18 year old me would have as she thought she had it all figured out, so 22+ year old me paid the price. I’m just hoping it plants that seed of doubt so, when you wonder what a 43 year old man actually sees in an 18 year old, and if you start to notice how he might be manipulating you to stay dependent on him (hopefully not the case for you too), you decide to run sooner than I did.
Edit: I saw he’s fully “taking care of you”. If you stay in this relationship, make sure you can take care of yourself if you get out. Learn a trade, go to college, anything so you’re not trapped if you find you need to leave
I actually appreciate this reply - it’s critical, but not insensitive or dismissive of my autonomy. Thank you! I recently got my driver’s license, and he bought me a car and an apartment, which I’m currently renting out for passive income. I’ve been saving that income each month. I’ll also be starting dentistry at university this autumn, which I’m really looking forward to. I absolutely want to be independent - I’m definitely not the “trad wife” type. I’m well aware of the risks that come with that lifestyle.
I don’t know if you’re faking this for attention, but if it is real. Stay safe.
Have a backup plan incase shit hits the fan. Financial dependence on someone can lead to a ton of manipulation when you have the ‘no choice but to put up with it or be homeless’ mentality.
I’m really glad to read this. Take care of yourself, I hope everything works out for you! ❤️
I hope this is fake and a “joke”
Get away as fast as you can. ???
A look through OPs comment history lends credence to the fake theory imo.
If you aren’t trolling please get out of that situation
I’m very happy, content, and comfortable with my “situation”, but thank you for your concern nonetheless.
I mean this as gently as possible but if you are 18 you don’t even know what happy, content, and comfortable even feels like
I’m 30 and I still don’t even understand these concepts fully
Your personal experience is not representative of everyone else. Not what they experience. Not how they develop. Not who or what they are, or will be.
Please stop.
This is a bit insensitive to say to someone who has experienced firsthand what it feels like to be the opposite of happy, content, and comfortable.
Edit: nevermind, not getting anywhere near this.
I went into your post history and saw you ran from home at 16. You likely carry a lot of trauma and have a very disjointed view of what these concepts actually look like and that makes me really worried about you. At 18 you are literally still just a child - your brain will still be developing for 7 years or so and combined with childhood trauma you are very ripe for being manipulated by a 43 year old man.
I know that when I was 18 I felt invincible but looking back I wish I listened to advice from older people.
I mean just the fact that you shared your situation in an AMA tells me that you have your own doubts here.
Please don’t try to play therapist with me - I already have a professional I speak with weekly. Thank you. You’ve also been invalidating my feelings, which isn’t okay. I’m ending this conversation here, because this back-and-forth is pointless.
If you don’t want to be asked anything then you shouldn’t tell people to ask you anything. What are you here for then?
Nothing I said was insensitive or unkind. Maybe if you read it again slower you will see it is exactly the opposite. Why would I waste my time typing anything if I didn’t care about you?
How and when did you meet this guy?
Now I see why you requested no negative comments. It’s about all you would get without that stipulation.
But hey the reality is this: if you are happy and no one is being manipulated, then I’m fine with it. Too few people enjoy the moment, when it is all we have, and no one can say what makes another person’s life feel right.
It’s easy to judge, but far harder to understand.
As another caring human though, I would also expect everyone who cares for you to be worrying for you quite strongly each time they think of your relationship, and that will be hard on their psyche, and one way or another, that will be expressed by them.
The time for open communication is now if you want it expressed in a healthy manner later.
Just things to be aware of, it’s easy to get stuck in our comfortable bubble.
Run.