Two days ago, I did an AMA about my current life situation, and I really enjoyed it. I find these super fun for some reason, so I’m back with another one! Same request as last time: please, no judgment or unkind replies. Thank you! 🤍

  • AHamSandwich@lemmy.world
    10·
    14 hours ago

    I was afraid you’d say that.

    I left home at 17 and shacked up with a 38 year old man. I also did it for the security. Home life wasn’t stable and how was I supposed to make it on my own? Worst decision of my life. He was a very subtle manipulator. It took years of therapy to undo what that relationship did.

    Now that I’m 35, I’m not interested in close friendship or romantic/sexual relationships with men or women in their late teens to even mid twenties. That’s not meant as an insult to that demographic, there’s nothing wrong with them. A person’s brain isn’t finished developing until well into their twenties, and someone with only a handful of years of adult life experience has very little in common with an older adult. It’s like if you were to bed down with a 14 year old. There’s nothing wrong with being 14, they’re just in a profoundly different stage of their life.

    I fully expect you to ignore this. 18 year old me would have as she thought she had it all figured out, so 22+ year old me paid the price. I’m just hoping it plants that seed of doubt so, when you wonder what a 43 year old man actually sees in an 18 year old, and if you start to notice how he might be manipulating you to stay dependent on him (hopefully not the case for you too), you decide to run sooner than I did.

    Edit: I saw he’s fully “taking care of you”. If you stay in this relationship, make sure you can take care of yourself if you get out. Learn a trade, go to college, anything so you’re not trapped if you find you need to leave

    • iasmina2007@lemmy.worldOP
      31·
      14 hours ago

      I actually appreciate this reply - it’s critical, but not insensitive or dismissive of my autonomy. Thank you! I recently got my driver’s license, and he bought me a car and an apartment, which I’m currently renting out for passive income. I’ve been saving that income each month. I’ll also be starting dentistry at university this autumn, which I’m really looking forward to. I absolutely want to be independent - I’m definitely not the “trad wife” type. I’m well aware of the risks that come with that lifestyle.

      • TriflingToad@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        7·
        13 hours ago

        I don’t know if you’re faking this for attention, but if it is real. Stay safe.
        Have a backup plan incase shit hits the fan. Financial dependence on someone can lead to a ton of manipulation when you have the ‘no choice but to put up with it or be homeless’ mentality.