Quickly

Uh, it’s her world and you’re just living in it, so why not quit messing it up and make yourself useful!

Come with me now to the magical year 2016. Let’s peek in to the news for this magical time

On Sunday, The* New York Times* reported that two associates of President Donald Trump, including Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, presented a sealed envelope to then-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn containing a secret peace plan to resolve the three-year conflict in Ukraine. The plan, according to the report, would have Russian forces pull out of eastern Ukraine, and have Ukraine conduct a referendum on whether Crimea would be leased to Russia for 50 or 100 years. It also outlined a way to lift sanctions on Russia.

The reported plan raised hackles in Kiev, and not just because it would, in one form or another, recognize Crimea as part of Russia. “It’s nonsense,” Ukrainian parliament (Rada) member and former investigative journalist Mustafa Nayyem told me on Monday. “I don’t think anyone here in Ukraine would accept such a plan. It’s the banal bargaining over territory, and the time for that has passed.”

What really struck observers in Ukraine about the plan was its reported author, Andrii Artemenko, who according to the Times “sees himself as a Trump-style leader of a future Ukraine.” “That’s the thing,” said Natalia Gumenyuk, the head of the Hromadske.tv, a prominent news outlet that gained stature as the television station of the Maidan protests. “None of us had heard much about him.” What she had heard about him was that he was “marginal,” “a really obscure member of parliament from a shady political party.” She observed that “it’s interesting that it’s this kind of person who got in touch with someone over there,” in the United States.

. . . Both Avakov and Serhiy Leshchenko, a young member of the Rada and a former investigative journalist, suspect the plan originated not with Artemenko, who heads an obscure right-wing party, but among members of the Opposition Bloc, a parliamentary faction that formed in 2014 from remnants of the old party of the ousted pro-Kremlin President Viktor Yanukovych.

Ukraine? Shady political operatives? Russia? And all before the demented rapist was even elected? What in the name of Paul Manafort was going on here?

Remember that one change to the republiQan platform that trump demanded?

Agreed, but it does check out in that the White House staff are all incompetent miserable bastards with no respect and less sense.

Brought peace?

So no one has lost their jobs and prevented wages going out and the administration hasn’t done anything illegal? And the illegal things they have done were reversed by ALL the courts just in time for the holiday season when things like jobs and money are sort of important to some people?

And - Wow! - they were going to totally use the SNAP money any minute now? Well that’s a relief to know they’re not evil incompetent fascist crooked bastards who would roar with laughter at the idea of families not having enough to eat.

Gosh when you put it like that, everything was going to be a Happy Christmas to all and dog bless us -everyone!

But, i doubt it. My reasons include everything they’ve done and everything they are.

[A] clearly frustrated senior Republican

“This entire White House team has treated ALL members like garbage. ALL. And Mike Johnson has let it happen because he wanted it to happen,” they told Punchbowl.

“That is the sentiment of nearly all—appropriators, authorizers, hawks, doves, rank and file,” the lawmaker said.

He blasted what he called “the arrogance of this White House team,” accusing them of running members “roughshod and threatened” while denying them even “little wins like announcing small grants or even responding from agencies.”

Oh no! Anyway . . .

Incompetent shitwits.

Well, that’s pretty dumb, but -enh!

“Extended warranty? How can I lose!”

Perfect.

Christ did you guys even make it a month?

But the Democrats got nothing!

Except restoring SNAP, rehiring everyone and guaranteeing back pay even after they shutdown again in January.

Well, I’m pretending there’s an owl on it and also that I didn’t have to do anything scary to get it.

Thanks republiQans. May your eventual natural deaths be really annoying to you.

“All actions flowing from Ms. Halligan’s defective appointment … constitute unlawful exercises of executive power and must be set aside.”

Unlawful Exercises of Executive Power was what the demented rapist ran on. Which is not news to us but it’s still fucking bonkers.

The Big Bang theory isn’t about the bang itself but about what happened after the bang. Not long after, mind you. By doing a lot of math and watching carefully what goes on in particle accelerators, scientists believe they can look back to 10-43 seconds after the moment of creation, when the universe was still so small that you would have needed a microscope to find it. We mustn’t swoon over every extraordinary number that comes before us, but it is perhaps worth latching on to one from time to time just to be reminded of their ungraspable and amazing breadth. Thus 10-43 is 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001, or one 10 million trillion trillion trillionths of a second.

Most of what we know, or believe we know, about the early moments of the universe is thanks to an idea called inflation theory first propounded in 1979 by a junior particle physicist, then at Stanford, now at MIT, named Alan Guth.

The eventual result was the inflation theory, which holds that a fraction of a moment after the dawn of creation, the universe underwent a sudden dramatic expansion. It inflated – in effect ran away with itself, doubling in size every 10-34 seconds. The whole episode may have lasted no more than 10-30 seconds – that’s one million million million million millionths of a second – but it changed the universe from something you could hold in your hand to something at least 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times bigger. Inflation theory explains the ripples and eddies that make our universe possible. Without it, there would be no clumps of matter and thus no stars, just drifting gas and everlasting darkness.

Bruh.

*Crunches chip, loads bong*

I’ll take it! 😄

I mean . . . maybe.