I don’t talk about politics or religion at the workplace, yet there is a drama queen that loves just blurting out what she thinks to everyone around.
My way to go so far has been to ignore her, but sometimes I just want to yell at her how incoherent she is.
Then I’d be the one starting drama I guess…
I’m looking for advice to deal with these kind of people. I don’t want to work listening to conspiracy theories.
Many, if not most large companies and government agencies have workplace harassment policies. If you find out what you’re covered by, and make your views known, the behavior of this individual could be reportable.
It’s a long road, but
Try to maintain a safe distance of at least 30 m at all times. If you’re stuck with her in the same room, ask lots of work related questions and keep the conversation strictly professional. Dry work stuff only. The more boring the better. As soon as the conversation is about to go off the rails, steer it back.
You aren’t supposed to agree with everyone around you all the time.
Grow up or hate the world you share with the rest of the people living on it.
That’s the risk of places like lemmygrad and hexbear.
Best of luck moving forward
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AirPods?
Honestly, just tell her you’d rather not talk about politics. It can be incredibly passive. You do not need to elaborate. You can make up something simple like “I just want to focus on work while I’m at work,” it doesn’t even need to make sense. If she pushes back, drop it, but don’t ever say it’s okay for her to do. Then if she keeps doing it talk to your manager about it. “I’ve talked to her and asked her not to talk about politics, but she insists. I find it distracting.” Again, it doesn’t necessarily need to make sense and it doesn’t need to be over the top. Now,. hopefully your manager will sort it out. Because if it’s annoying you it’s likely annoying others.
Politics is group decision making. Religion is humanities relation to the supernatural. Drama, in context, seems to be a flaring of emotions.
Politics is unavoidable. Working with others requires decision making. She is telling you how she goes about making decisions i.e. deferring to authority.
Religion is also unavoidable since it informs politics. Many people believe God-King Jesus will come fix all the world’s problems. Thereby they are primed for deferring to authority.
Drama is a result of the multiplayer game of conversation. You can control your inputs and responses. You can control your internal state. There is no shame leaving a game instead of grinding to “git gud”. Not every game is for everyone. I enjoy the grind.
She is telling you how she goes about making decisions i.e. deferring to authority.
This is really insightful. Thanks.
I don’t think you should be quiet, it makes them feel like everyone is agreeing with them and makes everyone miserable. Time to introduce you to my favorite game to play with conservatives, Politics Judo!
So you hear them rant about a thing. Some dumbass talking point. Let’s use gun control. It’s pretty easy to know in advance what the talking points are since they never shut up and parrot the same problem and solution over and over. “Shouldn’t take guns, it’s a mental problem not a gun problem”.
Things are basically boiled down to a problem and a solution. A lot of people try to convince people that the problem isn’t what people think it is, and that’s hard to do. Even if they are just misinformed, it feels like trying to dismiss their fears.
So what you do is you agree with the problem, then use lefty talking points as the solution.
“Oh yeah, gun violence is pretty bad! And I love the Constitution, we shouldn’t mess with that!” (Use small words and also throw in some patriotism, makes them feel like you’re on their side. You want to sound like a right wing media con artist) “so instead of taking guns away, we should instead start having more, free, mental health care in this country. Since it’s a mental health problem and these people are crazy, that is the solution that makes the most sense!” (Don’t try to get them to agree to your solution, just state it as the obvious one)
It becomes weaponized cognitive dissonance. Their brains fry because you said the things you should to agree with them, flagged yourself as an ally, but then said the thing they were told is the bad and shouldn’t want.
If they try to argue with your solution, rinse and repeat to a different talking point. “Oh yeah it might cost more, and we shouldn’t have to pay more for it, so we should get the rich people who are screwing average hard working Americans over by not paying taxes to do that. We should shut down tax loopholes and increase funding to the IRS so they can go after them instead of the little guy”
Always sound like you’re agreeing with them, but giving solutions that they disagree with that seem to be off topic but are related.
Either they will get flustered and stop, or they will slip up and say something racist or sexist or something, and then you can have HR bust them. Document it and also see if you’re in a single party consent state.
I do something similar but yours is more comprehensive and elaborate.
Thank you for your response.
I love how you immediately pegged her politics, without any actual indication where on the spectrum she was. You, in your fictional scenario, actually repeated a common one among 2nd amendment die hards, mental health services not confiscations.
It was pretty easy to pick up on.
Someone already mentioned going to HR or talking to your boss, but if you really want to shut it down just call her out on her bullshit. Make her explain her position and ask followup questions until she can’t respond. She’s just parroting some talking head, and you can even make a game out of trying to figure out which one she’s channeling
“Please don’t talk about politics in the workplace. It is unprofessional.”
People like that routinely ignore polite exhortations.
Skill issue
Are you trying to blame the victim here?
I didn’t suggest being polite.
For the discussed situation, you response is so neutered that it verges on transparently hypocritical.
You grow up.
I don’t talk about politics or religion
The entirety of polite, modern society lives by this rule
How the actual fuck do Americans just not get it? 😂
Reply to them in a “really? Aren’t you just adorable” tone of voice. Don’t engage with what they’re saying but treat them way you would treat a puppy that has just learned not to crap on the rug. Or a mental patient.
“Trump says he’s going to fix everything two weeks after he takes office!”
“Really? That’s amazing! Here I was thinking that you hadn’t thought this through, when clearly you had.”
Pull up a book by marx on your phone and just start reading it outlook to them like you would have story time with a child.
This is cringe. Not even because you’re reading Marx, but because you assume the person you’re reading it to is intelligent enough to understand what you’re reading
One option…lean in, HARD! Dial the crazy up to 11… One up every point she makes, every single time.