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can@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 5 months ago

Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid

theonion.com

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Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid

theonion.com

can@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 5 months ago
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CHICAGO—Stressing that the procedure offered affected individuals their best chance at recuperation, experts at Northwestern University’s medical school issued a recommendation Thursday that severely injured people should be placed into some sort of cylindrical tank filled with fluid. “Our data indicate that almost all wounds and maladies can be mitigated, if not outright reversed, by […]
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  • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip
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    5 months ago

    Too much goo and you get cancer. Too little, cancer. But just the right amount of goo will cure just about anything except goo related cancers

    • recklessengagement@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      How do you know when enough goo becomes too much goo?

      • 6️⃣9️⃣4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        Usually you’ll know from all the cancer.

  • teletext@reddthat.com
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    5 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • kryptonidas@lemmings.world
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    5 months ago

  • Pacrat173@lemmy.ml
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    5 months ago

    I love that is says they should be locked inside not just placed they’re locked in the magic goo tube

  • Asetru@feddit.org
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