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trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 1 year ago

Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid

theonion.com

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Experts Recommend Putting Injured Person In Some Sort Of Cylindrical Tank Filled With Fluid

theonion.com

trashcan@sh.itjust.worksM to The Onion and other satire w/ layers@sh.itjust.works · 1 year ago
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CHICAGO—Stressing that the procedure offered affected individuals their best chance at recuperation, experts at Northwestern University’s medical school issued a recommendation Thursday that severely injured people should be placed into some sort of cylindrical tank filled with fluid. “Our data indicate that almost all wounds and maladies can be mitigated, if not outright reversed, by […]
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  • Ms. ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.zip
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    1 year ago

    Too much goo and you get cancer. Too little, cancer. But just the right amount of goo will cure just about anything except goo related cancers

    • recklessengagement@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      How do you know when enough goo becomes too much goo?

      • 6️⃣9️⃣4️⃣2️⃣0️⃣@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        Usually you’ll know from all the cancer.

  • teletext@reddthat.com
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    3 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • kryptonidas@lemmings.world
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    1 year ago

  • Pacrat173@lemmy.ml
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    1 year ago

    I love that is says they should be locked inside not just placed they’re locked in the magic goo tube

  • Asetru@feddit.org
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    1 year ago

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