Was laying naked on my bed next to my girlfriend I thought it would be funny to rip one out Instead i projektile shot a little poopy meteor wich then landed on my buttcheek We had a mirror on the floor next to the bed, i watched it happen And i watched her face changing from annoyed but funny to utterly disgusted
I choose to believe that you’re still together, and this has become a post-coital routine.
Yeah, she married me for whatever reason
Like the time I thought I had to fart so I relaxed my sphincter a bit and hear someone behind me asking for tree-fiddy?
It was about this time I realized that the little fart was actually a giant crustacean from the paleolithic era.
It was the god damned Loch Ness Monster!
Your story moved me, and my bowels.
I was at home called out of school for being sick. Nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, the whole nine yards.
Was laying in my bed when I felt the urge to fart. I didn’t really trust it, but I felt too sick to want to get up and go to the bathroom, so I held it as long as I could. Finally it got to be too much and I tried to release some of the pressure with a controlled release.
It was anything but controlled. The floodgates that were my sphincter broke. A stream of thick, yet watery, doodoo hit my poor little whitey tighties with a force that turned them into a fine mesh screen. I didn’t even have time to react before it was all over not only me but also my bed.
I did the crab walk of shame to the bathroom, where I quickly disposed of my underwear and showered for what felt like eternity.
I burnt all the bedding.
Ehh shit smells bad but burnt shit is 5 times worse!
Not a “not a fart” exactly, butt anyways… You ever eat a lot of cereal at one sitting? Like a whole box? Don’t try that with Frosted Mini Wheats. I did, and then I went to my job baking bagels. I had just gotten all the shelves in the oven full of bagels (idk like 30 dozen). I felt a rumbling that told me I had seconds before release. I grabbed my manager, handed him the peel and told him which rack was coming out first. I didn’t wait for his reply, but I ran to the single bathroom in our busy restaurant and by some miracle it was unoccupied. Not a second to spare and then total relief.
Long story short, I had a bad school lunch then went to cheerleading and made the others wish I was an exchange student again.
You were an exchange student? I’ve always wanted to be one of those. Any horror stories when abroad, like realizing you had to know more languages, finding a host, getting stuck…?
