Fruits that fall off the tree ferment and make alcohol. Monkeys, apes, and other animals eat them for the alcoholic effect.
God didn’t make those. Wait. Shit.
They were manufactured by fallen fruit.
So perfect.
Let’s see… He has a plan… no that doesn’t work here…
Just have faith…? No no, uhhhh…
Mysterious… Yeah yeah that one. Mysterious ways and what not
Yeast is the Devil confirmed.
Bread is the devil’s food
I thought that was a kind of cake.
Birds get drunk off fermented berries. And it’s the funniest shit you will ever watch. Well…until you find out that drunk birds crash into windows a lot.
This is the main reason birds have a hard time getting a driver’s license
It’s maybe a reason, but I’m sure there are bigger issues considering how much drunk drivers WITH a license there are
Also, many species of birds don’t live to be 16 (some do, though, but those ones also rarely drive.)
Bees also get drunk off fermented fruit, and they are mean ass drunks. Source: I grew up on an apple farm.
Mmmmm hmmmm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSM3x9G7eTQOMG my blackberry bushes… those poor drunk idiots…
So that’s why they crash into windows…
If anything, God made alcohol incredibly prevalent and easy to discover and produce
The apple Eve bit into was fermented for sure
Can you make alcohol out of figs?
You can basically make alcohol out of anything with sugar and the right yeast.
Actually Fig and/or Plum wine is pretty good.
Hell, you can even alcohol with your butt.
Don’t forget vagina yoghurt
Also, vagina beer. And vagina bread. Still wanna try some of that
Apples naturally contain yeast, they’ll literally turn to alcohol on their own if you give them time.
And that’s not even to mention all the psychoactive plants out there. The Earth makes many a mind-altering substance without the help of man.
It makes sense if you believe in science and stuff, but if you were a true Christian you would know that holly sweet Jesus of America turned water into wine, which has nothing to do with alcohol. It is His sacred blood that for some reason also tastes like old grape juice. Don’t judge me and make your own research.
Thoughts and prayers, libtard!
deleted by creator
So Jesus is a “fallen man”, ok.
He also only turned the water into wine because his mother nagged him to do it. Two of the people thought to be the most perfect and infallible in Christian tradition are actually fallen people. I think it’s pretty noble to abstain from alcohol or other addictions but the way this guy does it is so belittling.
@Spike Just ask Maria Magdalene ;)
He didn’tmake it, he multiplied it, duh!
We had a tree with some sort of red berries on it. Every autumn birds would have a bird party getting drunk off the fermented berries. Alcohol appears in nature all the fucking time
Homebrewer/fermenter checking in. Yeast is everywhere. Its already on everything. To an extent where homebrewing has a special category called wild or spontaneous fermentation specifically for stuff made just by letting wild yeast settle on it and start going to town. Which is to say that if you’re a bit lucky the only thing you need in order for wine to happen is fruit. Do you know how you make a fermented pepper sauce? Kim chi? Sauerkraut? You just need whatever it is you’re trying to ferment, and some salt. That’s it. The fermentation will just happen. Some small amount of alcohol will just happen.
Also there’s literally a scene in the Bible where god turns water into wine for his disciples. Why would he do that if it was a bad thing?
Entrapment.
The explanation that I was told for that as a mormon kid was that what they call wine in the Bible was actually unfermented grape juice. 🤦
There’s literally a nebula out there that is almost pure ethanol that tastes of raspberry. I’ve no clue how we figured out what it would taste like, but there is literally enough alcohol there to keep the next 500 generations of humans perpetually shit faced even with the population boom that would occur.
I refer to it as “God’s Distillery.”
Obviously someone must have built the smelloscope from Futurama.
Infrared light gets absorbed by organic molecules at specific wavelengths depending on what structure they have. So we can look at IR light that has passed through the nebula to see what molecules are in it. The first article I saw said the cloud has ethyl formate which apparently has a raspberry like flavor.
I went to a church when I was a kid that taught that wine was completely non-alcoholic in biblical times.
Remarkable how ignorant of their own bible the teetotalling Christians are. Without refrigeration grape juice becomes unsafe to drink quickly. Fermenting it was the only way it would keep. Also in 1 Tim 3:8 mentions to not have men as deacons if they’re “addicted to much wine”, clearly showing this was not grape juice they’re talking about.
It’s even more directly stated, and specifically about the wine Jesus made. After he turned water into wine, the guests were specifically remarking that hosts generally feed their guests good wine early in the night and pull out cheaper wine after the guests are drunk and can’t tell the difference… But in this case they saved the best for last.
This is great because it also is a counter point to the argument that some preachers say to the youth about it being DRUNKENNESS that god doesn’t like.
Nope, not intrinsically, because Jesus lit up a party full of ALREADY drunk people with more booze.
Well the Bible is clear that drunkenness is a sin. It’s stated many times, old and new testament, and without a doubt it’s a problem for a lot of people. But the wedding party wine is a good example that there’s no issue with having a party and people drinking, and as you said, Jesus supplies more wine after they run out. He didn’t feel the need to police everyone.
I disagree that the bible is clear that it’s a sin. It’s murky at best.
There are many warnings of being drunk leading to other sins. I think it’s implied that routine drunkenness inevitably at least leads to sloth. I think there is an important distinction between “getting drunk” and “being a drunkard”.
It’s pretty clear Paul wasn’t a fan.
But like, Paul wasn’t the Christ. Paul can hate all he wants but the fact remains that Jesus got a party full of people who were ALREADY drunk MORE DRUNK.
So, either Christ will himself tempt others into sin or it isn’t a sin.
I think it’s important to consider the position on temptation. If your hand causes you to sin, it’s better to cut it off kinda thing. If getting drunk leads you to sin, you shouldn’t get drunk.
In the same way that nobody in the bible or in the same realms of the living would suggest preemptively cutting off the hands and gouging out the eyes at birth to ensure no sins caused by those body parts, it’s similarly reasonable to not take a same blanket preemptive stance on getting drunk.
I’d never stop someone from making a personal choice not to drink, for literally any reason. I’m pretty wary of anyone who says the bible is “clear” on what is and isn’t a sin, though.
The definition of sin is the most boring and inconsequential part of the Christian faith and it’s such a shame how many Christians are exclusively obsessed with it.
Hahahahahhahha
For anyone that doesnt know, humans have evolved a significant tolerance to alcohol because it does infact exist in nature in rotting fruit (you take what you can in 400000 bc) there are reports of moose losing it after only a few fermented Apples. And Elephant reportedly can get deliriously drunk off of a single beer.
I had a dog that loved beer but he was a nasty drunk. He would knock beers over to lap them up, then start growling and barking for more. Then he’d puke, eat the puke, and pass out.
Sounds like a roommate I had once. You’re sure he wasn’t just a short bearded man named Matthew?
If he was I am guilty of so many crimes
But bestiality wouldn’t be one of them
Did I live with you?
Or Mark? Or Luke? Or John?
Then he’d puke, eat the puke, and pass out.
Probably because hops are toxic to dogs.
I’ve seen this exact thing, a little terrier would wait for everyone to leave the room then he’d knock everyone’s beers over and get shirfaced. I don’t remember him being violent unless you tried to take the beer away
The ones who couldn’t tolerate liquor couldn’t get laid? That checks out actually.
I’ve been told by several people that being a non-drinker is a “huge red flag” if they see it in a dating profile.
I don’t think it’s a red flag but it could be a compatibility issue for some.
Also, it might mean they’re in recovery, which can be a red flag for many
Or they’re seen as boring because drinking culture is deeply ingrained in our societies.
Because usually to state something like that it implies severe alcoholism.
Most people who don’t drink just don’t drink
“I don’t drink” usually implies severe alcoholism. Got it.
When you feel the need to put it in a dating site bio, it does.
That’s hilarious to me.
Darwin bouta recheck his theory
I think it’s consistent with it actually.
Yeah alcohol tolerance is sexually selected in some populations of modern Homo sapiens
Yea fuck the Catholics in particular, drinking all that wine like it’s the “blood of Christ”. Like Christ would ever touch alcohol!
cue the morons trying to say it was just grape juice
I was raised Mormon and this was the excuse they used. They have to lie and make shit up to keep things consistent.
Throughout the passage, the Greek word translated “wine” is oinos, which was the common Greek word for normal wine, wine that was fermented/alcoholic. The Greek word for the wine Jesus created is the same word for the wine the wedding feast ran out of. The Greek word for the wine Jesus created is also the same word that is used in Ephesians 5:18, “…do not get drunk on wine…” Obviously, getting drunk from drinking wine requires the presence of alcohol. Everything, from the context of a wedding feast, to the usage of oinos in 1st century Greek literature (in the New Testament and outside the New Testament), argues for the wine that Jesus created to be normal, ordinary wine, containing alcohol. There is simply no solid historical, cultural, exegetical, contextual, or lexical reason to understand it to have been grape juice.
Also an exmo, even as a kid the logical inconsistency was easy to spot. It was grape juice back then, the Catholics still drink wine, but we drink water for…the same reason except it looks nothing like blood? Cool cool cool
First time hearing the word “exmo” and I have to ask, does that mean you only wear black temple garments?
Nah, satanic boxers with pentagrams
I tried that line, but my employer didn’t buy it. Smh
I think the beer brewing monasteries didn’t get the memo.
Wait until he finds out that humans have been drinking alcohol recreationally for at least 8000 years. I reckon heaven would be really rather empty if only people who never drank any alcohol were allowed in
First you have to convince him that the earth is more than 8000 years old.
If God didn’t create alcohol, then why does booze taste so good? Checkmate, Tiff.
The earth has never produced a single drop of alcohol
Oh boy, do I have news for you!
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palm_wine
Granted it’s not produced in the tree, but it’s basically alcohol by the time people take the sap container off the tree, no human intervention needed.
Palm tree, formerly known as fallen men.
The pacu fish, who eat fruit, will eat fermented fruit and get intoxicated.
I hope he posted that on naturally occurring social media sites, not the kind created and run by fallen men, because the earth has never produced a single social media site.
Bruh moment.
If it’s impossible by nature then how could we accomplish it
He must have skipped homework numerous times in his holy book.
But Mom, Jesus never had homework
I was talking about this guy in the picture
That name has to be fake.
It sounds like the name of a Will Farrell character! I can’t find anything to suggest it isn’t his real name - and tiff doesn’t seem to be short for anything either.
Could be Tiffany. The musician Tiffany had a song called “Tiff’s Back”.
I knew a girl at uni called Tiffany but she went by Tipp/Tipper. I’d definitely chose that over Tiff personally.
Just swap the first vowel in each name and you’ve got a great parody account
Please make a Tuff Shittlesworth account.
