- cross-posted to:
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- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
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This is basically the Canadian version of The Onion.
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The joke is that trump might kidnap him too
Trump just annexed Venezuela after threatening them.
Trump has also threatened Greenland, Canada, and Mexico. Are you sure it’s a joke?
Headline:
Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case
The implied joke is that the reason is trump might kidnap him too, because it is plausible.
What exactly don’t you understand about how it’s a joke?
Are you sure you just don’t know what a joke is?
If I make a joke about trump having a tiny mushroom dick, would you say it can’t be a joke because it’s true?
Like, what the actual fuck are you even trying to say here, and why are people up voting it?
The website is literally a parody website, every single article is a joke. If you think differently, you just bit the beaver.
Beaverton/Onion comments are always full of people making jokes about “are you sure this is satire?”. Relax. Take a breath. Sure givesomefucks but maybe give a few less fucks when it comes to dumb comments on a Beaverton article.
Which is it?
Not a joke? Or it’s a joke and I should care less?
If it’s a joke and I should care less, why were you saying it’s not a joke?
Was it literally just because you see other people make the comment and get up voted, so you made the comment without understanding anything?
You know that’s literally how chat it’s 30 years ago behaved, that’s the level you’re on chief.
So maybe you should start giving more fucks and not just blindly repeating nonsense you’ve seen people get up votes for.
I wish Americans got this fired up about their government. We might not be having this discussion in the first place.
I don’t think it’s fire Americans are lacking with regard to their government. The fire seems to be getting used against them, to keep them divided and conquered, arguing over inconsequentialities, keeping them in a snug opposame back and forth.
Jesus christ, you are way too worked up over…nothing.
Chill out.
You are getting very cross indeed over a joke.
It is a joke, and it’s funny because it holds a kernel of truth. “We laugh so we do not cry.”
No tears shed for Maduro, but it’s pretty obvious that Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing and doesn’t have a plan.
Staging a secret service raid to kidnap Carney is pretty out there, but then El Presidente Trump just talked about “doing something about Mexico” from the Southern Presidential Palace.
It’s a joke, you should laugh, and you should also remember what the joke is referencing.
Some people don’t understand that comedy is rooted in tragedy. It makes light of the tragic as an outlet. So no, givesomefucks, some people do not know what a joke is.
Bit the beaver eh?
“Joke”
[laughtrack]
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Mark Carney: and that’s why I had graphene os Installed on every phone in the family.
Finally posted a response. Weak.
Is it so hard to copy and paste the text?
By all means, feel free to do so.
I can’t. Because its an image of text.
It’s funny because a fascist regime just blitzkrieged South America.
Real hilarious stuff.
Ha, the joke is that you can’t turn off geolocation! That is why it is funny! Ha ha!
ohhhh now i get it
To turn off your phone’s geolocation, turn off your phone.
Even if you turn off your phone, there is a lower-level operating system that is still connecting to cell phone towers. You either have to take the battery out, or leave your phone at home.
Try doing a search for “baseband processor”.
Not… exactly.
Baseband processors could hypothetically remain energized and pull a list of nearby base stations, but it’s not possible for it to be transmitting without you knowing (the battery drain would be extremely obvious). I have also never heard of this happening, nor can I find an example of this being documented behavior, nor can I find an example of someone enabling this functionality while the device has been powered off.
What can happen is something like the subversion of the power-off state to be simply an implementation of the OS’s standby state - this is extremely difficult in any modern mobile OS (again I can’t find examples of this being demonstrated without arbitrary code execution) but is the method rumored to be employed by the various security groups.
If you’re being targeted by a group on the level of (ex:) the mossad, having a phone at all is a liability, even if the battery has been removed. If you’re not the target of a security group, turning off your phone is a great way of preserving your privacy.
(Also, fun little side note, depending on your region leaving your phone at home won’t do anything to prevent your location be tracked. Whee!)
Phone seems too risky, let’s switch to pagers instead, what could possibly go wrong?
RF-blocking bags can also solve this problem.
You can put it in a faraday cage
Or just don’t have one.
The Beaverton really needs to stick to satire, it was never meant as an advice column.
Can any phones operate in starlink only mode? Would that offer any protection or would SpaceX just give the data to whoever asked?
Given Musk’s hard right turn, I’m not sure I’d trust Starlink with much.
Well if you ask me, I only use Chrome on my iPhone connected to Starlink to order from Amazon with my credit card, I’m basically a ghost.
just wants to be able to spend a bit of quality time with his family
Oh. So he’s not scared of the masses he’s complicit in murdering1 seeking vigilante justice since they’ll get no justice from “the justice system”? I could have swore it was that, and/or going to secret meetings about how else to screw over “the little people”, further impoverishing and disempowering them.
Well that’s nice to know he’s just a family man.
1 Like happened when he served as the Governor of the Bank of England from 2013 to 2020, with over 130,000 people were culled by imposing abject poverty, depriving them of social services and breaching duty of care.
I think you missed something 😬
Such as?
C’mon, make that a helpful comment. Don’t keep the answers to yourself, keeping me guessing what I’m supposed to be looking for.
The Beaverton is a satire site
Did not miss that.
Thats so much worse…
Are there a bunch of Mark Carney fans here or something, not liking me pointing out what a rotter he is, adding to the satire?
Except that the things you’re blaming him for are things that David Cameron and his government cheerfully did, not Mark Carney.
He kept the stock market from crashing quite as badly when he was in charge of the UK’s independent central bank, so you cam argue that he protected the rich, but that’s exactly what he was paid to do. It was the conservative government, that took all the money away from the people, not Mark Carney.
It’s ok to be wrong sometimes.
like maybe taking
and definitely not influenced by, hypothetically speaking, military action by a neighbouring country against a foreign leader said country had repeatedly threatened
not seriously enough?
:P
[I assert my point more valid, the threat from those not in the big club more seriously perceived, than those in the big club, who have the means to detect where regardless of phone tracking]
or taking https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/01/carney-promises-2026-will-see-huge-economic-growth-that-will-absolutely-not-include-you/ too seriously? If so, I wonder why. Satire’s a great way of revealing the truth.
It is the Beaverton, it is satire.
As independent governor of the Bank of England he had power to chair the decision making board over interest rates and to do quantitative easing.
The impoverishment of the poor and removal of support was the policy of the (separate) Tory and libdem coalition government up to 2015 and Tory government from 2015.
