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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: January 22nd, 2024

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  • dress code

    Ours says something like “Formal suits and ties are not required, but colleages should be dressed appropriately for the workplace, and whether you are customer facing or not, you should not dress inappropriately casually.” which is nice because I find ties uncomfortable, but there’s a grey area a mile wide there that I would rather there weren’t.

    In practice, this means that crocs, shorts, mini skirts, loud shirts and crop tops all get called out by the boss, but he seems no more willing than I am to call out a low neckline in public, and I don’t know whether that’s because he doesn’t mind, doesn’t care, didn’t like getting criticised in the past for noticing, or secretly likes low necklines.

    I’m certainly not bringing it up in AOB any year soon. I’ve overheard the “well you shouldn’t have been looking” conversion enough in the past to know how some folk react to bring asked to tone it down somewhat.



  • As a reasonably unattractive middle aged man, I do wish that some of the people in my workplace wouldn’t wear low necklines. I am fully aware that I’m not supposed to look and that my eyes aren’t the target of the clothing choices. I think it’s very rare indeed that I do look, but I can’t help but notice, ALL THE TIME I’m interacting with whoever it is. I find it very distracting and would rather not be distracted from the issue at hand. What I look at is under my conscious control, but my sexuality isn’t.

    Someone in the comments mentioned that men should know not to stare from simple polite social etiquette. Yes. I know this. I live this. But if you’re talking social etiquette, I think you have to accept that it’s possible to be inappropriately dressed for the workplace. Wear whatever you like while you’re out in the evening, out in the street, out shopping, but while we’re at work, while I have no choice over who I interact with or for how long, please dress in a less distracting way.

    Sorry if that makes you feel objectified or controlled, and I don’t want to make anyone unhappy, but also I don’t want to spend our planning meeting trying to ignore your breats.