My favorite experience with this was when I worked at a sporting goods store, we had a district wide meeting an hour away at 7am, planned in under 24 hours which changed everyone’s weekend plans, and it was mandatory.

The district manager comes out and does this, but to only a handful of good mornings, and the second time was met with dead silence.

He awkwardly tried to use our lack of enthusiasm as an example of “employee bases theft from the company” because if we aren’t faking being super happy and perky the second we’re at work, the company loses sales.

They handed out some shopping bags with some kind of peach smelling candy and some hand sanitizer. When the meeting was over, I didn’t see a single person take the bag with them, and everyone basically sprinted to their cars in under a minute.

Productivity was just a word the next morning. It took two days to unload a truck that normally gets done in 6-8 hours.

I don’t think anyone organized some kind of slow down and forgot to tell me, I think we just all felt the same way “fuck this place, I work hard and they call it lazy so let’s see how they like it when I AM lazy”

I never say the second one. My one hope is that someday I’ll be in a crowd that also hates this shit and just goes dead silent

At that one big public speaking thing I did, I began a habit of simply opening with “Morning…” I refused to declare it a good one, as I was severely sleep deprived, hungover as fuck, and I was never a morning person to begin with. The smaller presentations I’ve done since have opened in a similar manner.

I can’t hear you!

“FUUUUCK OOOFF!”

We all get judgemental. I develop a bias when I read people who write “people that”, like they’re objects, and not “people who” like they’re people. Also, if you can’t put a space between two words, like “good” and “morning”, for instance, then it’s another strike.

Feels rather arbitrary, doesn’t it?

I classify this under “HR energy”. There’s a sickly uncanny valley of human behavior I see in HR people sometimes.

Like once there was a “hack” day at work and the hr lady was like “I say hack, you say day! Hack!”. Somehow most of the crowd played along.

Good morning and welcome to another day that reminds us all that we are just perambulating sacks of future maggot fodder!

I get the Bill Burr voice in my head.

“Ahh, go fuck yaself.”

DJ: *shouts name of local town/city/state*

crowd: *goes absolutely batshit insane for some reason*

I’d support a law that would punish this with death.

I was just at a wedding reception that did the “I can’t hear you” thing and I decided I would just snap my fingers like I was at a poetry reading in the 70’s. Get bent with that.

I would be okay with this tho

gooooood Morning!

I’m in a weekly change review meeting and while they are taking attendance and calling out names, most people give a “good morning” that ranges from sedate to barely alive.

I like to belt out an enthusiastic “Good Morning”.

The people who follow me seem to match my enthusiasm, but I’m pretty close to the end of the list, so I’m not having much impact.

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