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First of all, Papa Smurf didn’t create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel’s evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario - It just couldn’t happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don’t even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That’s what’s so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What’s the point of living… if you don’t have a dick?
This is Sassette erasure and I won’t stand for it! /s
There’s just one little problem…
I do believe she eventually grows to the age of consent, but I could be wrong.
Of course, I was saying “only female” is Sassette erasure. I was not saying “only mating prospect” is Sassette erasure.
I was just remembering her from my childhood. I wasn’t up on my Sassette lore. I found a reference that says she was created the same way Smurfette was, which surprised me.
She is called smurfette in english o.o
They do not reproduce (setting aside Smurfette, who is technically a Golem) and they also do not die… they must be DIVINE MANIFESTATIONS.
Prions
Yeah didnt Papa Smurf make Smurfette with magic?
Well…yeah, in the same sense that the bedroom is “where the magic happens.” Did you think they meant literal magic lol? Papa Smurf definitely fucks bro.
Their enemy made smurfette with magic to seduce them
Yes, Gargamel made her out of blue clay, Papa Smurf did the “beautification”.
Thanks it’s been over 40 years since I could tolerate the Smurfs. I tried watching it once as an adult and it was brutal.
Did you try watching the old cartoons or did you curse yourself with the newer movies?
This was covered back in '93 on usenet. Behold: Smuckfest!
What most people don’t know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason is because Smurfs only have sex once a year.
Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you’d be blue, too.
Everyone I argue online with is a Smurf?
Once they all get off, they just look like normal little wrinkly ballsacks for awhile.
This is ancient furry porn, isn’t it?
Huh. I’m not sure how far back furries go.
If not, it’s certainly proto furry porn. Pretty sure it predates the formulation of Rule 34.
Years ago I found a page that reasoned that the whole thing is a communist propaganda (they have no money, share food etc), then SWITCH and they went on how the whole thing is a Nazi propaganda (the bad guy looks like an archetypical jew who wants to make gold of them, etc).
I can’t find the original, but there’s a lot of sites that claim one or the other
He has wanted them fir different purposes at different times. In the US bersions he wanted to eat them very often.
archetypical jew who wants to make gold of them
He also makes a golem from clay (smurfette)
New elmo tweet incomming, people
And the smurfs wear white hoods. Except the leader who wears red (like the klan)
Nah, much older (at least 10 years old), less resemblance to AI text.
Henchman 24: Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
Henchman 21: Oh my God, you’re crazy! They’re so obviously mammals!
Henchman 24: Please! She’d be in estrus 24/7 if she didn’t lay eggs.
Henchman 21: Smurfs don’t lay eggs! I won’t tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They’re mammals!
Did Henchman 21 ever hear of the Bearded Dragon?
Goats have beards and they lay eggs
Monotremes
HENCH 4 LIFE
Fun fact: I sometimes watch the new stuff with my niece and they have many female characters now. The latest season even has a girl village next to the normal one and they regularly interact with each other but there are female only episodes as well. The normal village also has women, I’m not sure about the exact (gender) dynamics at play
So the new version passes the Bechdel test?
Wow! TIL. Also, maybe less surprisingly, I just found that EURIMAGES has it as a criterion, so I guess no public EU money for your movie project if it doesn’t pass the test.
no, but it does pass the Smurfdel Smurf
Yeah but one does have to question if segregation is actually progress
It’s even funny the way the parent comment described it: a girl town right next to the normal town.
Depends on the culture.
The Air Nomads were segregated in Avatar, but they were sexually progressive forever, and raised children communally. Stuff like that is fine.
I know nothing of Smurf lore, but they don’t seem like one of those repressive segregated cultures.
Numerically speaking, the virus wants to keep smurfette alive as long as possible.
This comic still gives me some kinda ick.
TFW the antagonist in The Smurfs was right all along.
Didn’t he want to eat them or something? That sounds like a one-way ticket to a body horror ending…
Gargamel is willing to bite the bullet for the greater good.
Gargamel would be patient zero of The Last of Us: Blue Edition.
First book, he needs them to make gold.
Then it’s just revenge.
Or so I remember.
I think originally he wanted to use them to make gold
yep. that’s the biggest tell that the Smurfs is about communism. in any other kids story the antagonist would either want to get rid of them or eat them, which is why most people just assume that’s what he wants. but no, he wants gold. he’s a capitalist.
I think you’re right… I was just imagining him coming in with a flamethrower in
onethe last episode
Thanks I hate it.
Parasites: Being Factories for more parasites, since 3.5 BYA or so (or when the first viruses emerged (viruses are parasites that kinda forgot how to do anything but parasitism))
c/imsorryjon
The real smurfberries.
