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Works for me.
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God I suck for this not having worked yet
You need to be even harder on yourself
It’s the only logical conclusion
Maybe I just need to be even harder on myself!
I know this is just a meme, but I’ve been in therapy for three years and I’m still a mess. But I am slightly less of a mess than I was three years ago, and it took three years of therapy for me to realize that’s good. Maybe not better than yesterday or a week ago, but definitely better most days now than most days last year. Progress is progress, so take credit when you have some.
This is true but it’s like telling a depressed person to “just try being happy”
like bruh I know it doesn’t work but that doesn’t mean I’m directly capable to stop doing it in my present incarnation
There are deeper patterns that need to be resolved here
But I appreciate your concern, still a solid move even if a bit misguided
I think it can be a valuable insight for many. Having that sort of wake-up call. Yeah, maybe most people have figured this out by now, but its possible many are still going on that sort of autopilot mode where they keep being harsh on themselves due to learned and instilled behaviors
True, and you should be at least as nice to yourself as you would be to a stranger on the street. If you wouldn’t call them a loser for not having done whatever, don’t do it to yourself! You are also a person worthy of respect.
I need to print this out and put it up somewhere. If I even remember to do it. I’m such a dummy who can’t remem-
OK I’m going to print this right now.
I also wanted to print it out but the OP image is very low resolution. Turns out the source is a poster printshop. Unfortunately they sold out. https://sidewalkflowers.com/products/worked-by-now-poster
Ah, that’s a bummer. Thank you for finding it!
…
Fuck you op
I’m only speaking of this from experience. Does that help?
Yes.
But I don’t know how to not be hard on myself.
It’s like not the way my brain functions.
It’s ok OP I’m not mad at you, I’m mad that you’re right.
Mixed results.
I’m not hard on myself because I think it’ll make me better, I’m hard on myself because I’m a failure of human being and I can’t always avoid thinking about it
Lot less a failure than oh so many. Also who said there is a manual to being human
Nope. Being hard on yourself is an easy way to misery
What now? Slack harder or work softer on myself?
Just be nicer to yourself when you run into problems and things don’t turn out like you expect. It doesn’t make you a loser or a fuckup to not accomplish everything all the time, it makes you human. And take into account that with ADHD you are basically pedaling uphill to begin with; you’re allowed to celebrate small wins either way, but small wins are bigger when you’re doing life on hard mode.
It sounds hippy dippy, but being your own cheerleader really does impact that instinct to self castigate. It especially works if you mentally take yourself out of the situation and ask how you’d treat someone else in it: would you call them a loser or a fuckup? Probably not, so don’t do it to yourself. Just affirming to yourself that everyone makes mistakes and you’re doing your best helps change the mental pathways that have become ingrained into something less toxic to yourself.
Once that becomes automatic it becomes a lot easier to deal with challenges and failures. As they say, the master has failed more times than the pupil has tried.
Thank you. Didn’t expect such an elaborate answer.
You’re right. What makes it a little difficult is that this uphill battle is often hidden, e.g. from your employer. So you try to work the same as your colleagues but unless they’re also hidden ADHD people it doesn’t work. So it’s basically an entirely different game, they play “do the job” and you play “impersonate someone doing the job”.
Since this happens in hiding there is nobody giving you feedback on how you’re doing except for yourself. You get feedback for “the job” but not for what you’re actually doing…
