Winner
Fucking fool of a Took!
Well there are 3 movies, so technically you would get 1 fuck (or fuck equivalent) per movie. Everyone wants the Fuck to be funny, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it should be.
I think for Fellowship I would put it at the Balrog arriving and uttered by Gandalf, he’s the only person who understands the situation and a fuck would punctuate the seriousness of the situation.
For The Two Towers I think I’d make it happy/exasperated and give it to Aragorn as the Elves of Rivendell arrive (not book accurate, but also not the question).
For Return of the King I think it kinda has to go to Sam as he is reacting to Frodo crashing out. “Fuck, Mr. Frodo we’ve got to go on.”
Just one take, not the best or the last.
Return of the King, it should be when Gandalf gets his staff shattered by the witch king. Like an extremely disappointed kind of “fuck”
“Gandalf, what’s the Elvish word for friendship?”
“Fuck.”
Doors of Moria grind open
- Lord Denethor, Your son has returned.
- Who, Boromir?
- No the other one.
- Fuck him.
- … aye, my lord.
I’d phrase that slightly differently. “One does not simply walk into FUCKING MORDOR!”
That is better. I updated
what was the original? coz my first thought was “One does not fucking walk into Mordor”
That is exactly how I had the original
“One does not simply fuck into Mordor!”
That was probably the first take.
Okay if we’re changing the movies, I’m going to say it again. Put Bombadil back in.
Then, he’s all “Eldest, that’s what I am… Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn… he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless – before the Dark Lord came from Outside.”
And then Pippin can whisper “what the fuck”.
“Throw it in the fire, Mr. Frodo.” Sam shouted.
Frodo looked back at Sam, his eyes suddenly darkening. Though no words came from the now haggard hobbit’s mouth, the look told Sam everything.
His shoulders sagged.
“Aw, fuck…” He sighed.
Frodo : “I will take it. I will take the ring to Mordor…”
Frodo : “…though I do not know the way.”
Gandalf : “Fuck.”
“Deep in the land of Mordor, in the Fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged a master ring in secret, and into this ring he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One ring to fuck them all.”
“One doesnt simply walk into mordor you fuck”
“They are tricksy, false, wicked, clever fucking hobbitses!”
A BLACK ARROW suddenly THUDS into BOROMIR'S chest.
BOROMIR
Fuck me, not again.This but he drops character and is just Sean bean
“not again” suggests that already
Wait. There’s a difference?
