Archive article: https://archive.is/EfZkV “We don’t have a military full of Nordic pagans,” he said. “No more beards, long hair, superficial individual expression,” he added. “We’re going to cut our hair, shave our beards, and adhere to standards.”
**They declared war on America.
Encouraged war crimes (against American citizens)**
Enacted a bunch of racist and sexist shit (beard thing)
Announced they were planning on starting wars as soon as they feel like it
Rejected and alienated large portions of the American population from serving on the brink of WW3
Dementia Don rambled incoherently for a long time
Threatened the generals if they didn’t show fealty to the pedo king
Said the generals aren’t sexy enough for Pete
What he did is he proved to everyone he didn’t know a thing about the military.
Did you see all that winning in that room? So much winning. Shave. Don’t be fat. And then the orange man rambled about fucking nonsense for like an hour. I mean he said literally nothing coherent or relevant to the meeting. I was so fucking inspired and filled with warrior ethos I shit myself. It was awesome!
That was the most closeted TedTalk I’ve ever seen.
He literally gave an example of a good reason to have a beard (special forces). This shit is racism. Full stop. Everyone I knew in the military who had a shaving chit was a dark green Marine.
It’s so thinly veiled that it’s raising my blood pressure. Those guys (with the shaving chits) were damn fine Marines. Fuck this administration!
No beards on generals? Must be the cope from having this handsome gentleman beat their asses all the way to Dixie and back!
Tsar Peter the Great banned beards in the Russian military and civil service.
This is where this wanker got it from.
His comment about beards is iterally the least problematic/newsworthy part of his speech. Why the fuck would you focus on this and not, I don’t know, his straight outta 1984 “war is peace” statement? Extreme journalistic malpractice.
I agree they literally declared war on American citizens
An outsized portion of African American soldiers get beard waivers because if they shave they suffer from “razor bumps” (Pseudofolliculitis Barbae); which is not just razor burn that goes away but a painful skin condition with unsightly pustules.
Basically Pete’s trying to be like “oh, can’t be professional if you’re black, sorry you don’t meet our stringent requirements”
I know about razor bumps and I don’t mean to make it out to be a total non-issue; my problem is with the headline and byline, which seem to make light of what was actually a deeply disturbing speech. “Look at this idiot, ranting about beards, much ado about nothing, don’t even bother reading about what he said, it was just stupid fluff, shoulda been an email lol!” is not the message that the media needs to tell the public when both Hegseth and Trump made several horrifying, fascism-escalating statements today. (And let’s be real, most people don’t actually read the articles, so burying the lede like this is functionally similar to not reporting on it at all.)
The media isn’t going to start being honest now because the moment they do, Trump’s going to pull their licenses/sue them for “defaming the government”/jail them/whatever.
People keep wondering why the news won’t report on what is actually going on? Why they keep capitulating to Trump.
The reason is that even when they want to, they have a gun to their heads.
“Military leaders will need to pass height and weight tests each year.”
Each year? Height tests? How many ppl losing height year to year?
The Army tests Height and Weight every year. Those rucks will take an inch or two off you as your vertebrae get crushed.
But, yeah, army already does annual height and weight.
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Is he ranting because he doesn’t have enough testosterone to grow one? 🤷♂️
Another common misconception is that those with thicker beards have more testosterone than people with thinner beards. Even though testosterone does play a role in the growth of facial hair, low testosterone is rarely the cause of sparse facial hair growth.2
Thia myth has been wandering around for too long. The two people I know with extreme testasterone levels have no beard growth
That’s exactly what I was thinking. He’s probably extremely insecure that he can’t grow a beard.
Trump took the stage after him, noting that: “I’ve never walked into a room so silent before.”
The president, who famously avoided the military draft multiple time, then gave a far more subdued address, talking about everything from Joe Biden’s autopen, his love of the word “tariffs”, and the threat of nuclear weapons.
“I call it the N word. There are two N words and you can’t use either of them,” Trump said to an awkwardly silent audience.
“I call it the N word. There are two N words and you cant use either of them” Trump said to an awkwardly silent audience
This timeline has truly jumped the shark. Like on the one hand we are so fucked, but on the other hand reality has become something straight off the cutting room floor of a mockumentary series
That’ll happen when your “Predisent” is a demented rapist fraud with face paint and unfortunate tendencies toward sociopathy.
holy shit i really think pete hegseth might be one of the least likable human men i have ever heard speak
Hegseth complained that as leader of this department he is constantly surrounded by unattractive, hairy, bear types. He wants to see nice smooth skin that is easy on the eyes and the military will require a more metrosexual look! He also wants to see more exercise and he needs hard bodies out there. The harder. The better.
Unleash the tactical twinks!
Ah yes, the male version of Totally Spies
Thanks I love it
If we can channel nationalism into a question of who has the best gay people that would be great
Jesus. It’s like if Mac from Always Sunny was the defence secretary.
That was made up by me btw. Just mentioning just in case. I mean he wanted no beards and more excersise I just filled in the rest.
Oh yeah, I know, it’s just not much of a stretch haha.
Again, nothing sexual.
Which is weird because I thought he wanted more civil war confederate beards.
Ugh im up to the part where trump comes on. He is so delusional. Thinks everyone agrees with him. He is going on and on on gulf of america and talks like anyone but him uses it. Talks about how he built the us military and then it went to shamble for 4 years and magically is the best again. The magic of pure, unadulterated bullshit. He called putin easy so that was funny. Now he is telling them how they don’t have to worry about him ever any wars he starts. Course that is typical for republicans. Our submarines are undetectable but the enemy ones are totally detectable. Oh and our submarines go above and below the water (presumably he is saying others don’t do that?). He said at one point he was with the fire department. Oh and people are shooting at firemen on their ladders apparently. Also its animals shooting at them. Seriously find this on youtube and fastforward to trumps stuff. Jeez he is talking about how he calls biden the autopen and then is talking like he never uses it. Oh and hes proud of his pubic hair signature. Then he throws in that he had hunter sign stuff. This clown drives me nuts. He literally just did an indian accent explaining how he stopped india and pakistan from fighting. This talk is like a great example of trump talking. Oh he got rowanda war done. He has stopped 8 and the nobel prize will go to a writer talking about his great deeds but he does not want it but he should get it…and on and on. Oh and ukraine/russia is easy. So easy he has not done it yet because he knows he can do it whenever because so easy. The furthest he ever saw two people in front of him was inside the oval office apparently. Can’t be further. nope. nope. can’t be done. These generals im pretty sure have been seated there for over two hours with no break that I can tell. Oh good news trumps says his tariffs have taken in so much money the us is rich again. He thinks we should have more battleships because he saw them in pictures and they look cool. now spouting 51st state bullshit. hes saying they want to be us because of our great tariffs. Now he is saying the us does not build ships only submarines. this man is our president people. sorry for this but you know it needed one of those threads like the state of the union.
continuing. he won all the states. except the ones he didn’t. which are only on the coasts. biden let in murders but now presumably their are none. washington dc is now safe and no ones been attacked and now its the safest city. its perfect now but was horrible before. says 5 shootings in some of the large shootings is to much. should be none. portland told them on the phone they are fine but he checked and its a nightmare and on fire. announces they spit we hit policy. he says military can do whatever they hell they want to do if they see property damage. Its funny because you will notice he does not say he will keep the military folk from being prosecuted for their actions. just to do what they want.
ok got to the part where he says he has a special quick reaction force to quell civil disruption domestically. I kid you not he said the enemy within. and hes emphasizing foreign and domestic. your the domestic you fuck. also channeled hegseth for a sec talking about how good it is to give men a pounding. now mentions have not had a crime in washington now. I can’t handle this crazy delusion. oh now he is talking about how no matter how much rehabilitation these people can never be good. wow. oh he said how he did such a great job at covid but everyone else was being devastated but he took care of that. especially apparently with theraputics over vaccines. now hes talking about blowing venezualens. now hes blowing iran and it was beutiful to see. thats why he chose cain because hes so good. man more hegsethisms. he took out 100% of isis and it was so easy. alls you had to do was say you did. everyday biden fell down stairs but trump is careful because he is smart and he realizes he barely keeps from falling every time. obama danced down stairs and he totally could but maybe he would fall. we were dead before but he fixed that. he fixed nato. now nato pays everything and they buy all our stuff. we have no money going out to nato. he does not want to say we are making money on war but nudge nudge wink wink. ukrainian soldiers are dying but they are not us soldiers so no biggie. its crazy though. worst since ww2. its the toughest (recall earlier he said it was the easiest). Hes complaining that russia should have done a better job and had the war over by now but he is getting the middle east done. He thinks the kings and emirs and shit from the middle east are cool because they buy our weapons and shit. They also said we were dead but now so hot oh and putin said it to. I mean and this is still with beards.
so before no one wanted to join the military but now its the only thing anyone wants to do. same with police forces apparently. seariously he said everyone wants to be in the army, navy, air force, marines. yeah he said it like that and then remember and said oh and space force to. He wants the military to be large because so many people want to join but he also wants to not take people because they are not good enough. Hes telling the military brass the citizens are gonne take ur jobs. I guess to incentivize their use in civilian areas. Hes going to make a board of peace (the context sounds like through war) and all the world leaders want to be on it and want him to be chairman. Hes talking about how nato is paying more instead of us even though he said we are not paying and says how all the leaders like to call him the president of nato and he does not like it but they insist. now he is talking about how biden never talks smack but he talks smack which is why he is better. now he is saying how everyone wants to buy our military shit and they all have to wait in line but he is cracking the whip on production because the companies don’t want to. Everything is going to be made faster. He thinks using the name department of war will stop war. especially if we are as ruthless and relentless and evil as our enemies or even more so. thats how we become the good guys. we knocked out 14 incoming missiles one time. weeeeeee. we have the most nukes. weeeeee. oh and lore is spelt l-o-r-e. I just learneded it.
I was gonna complain about the lack of paragraph breaks, but then, this is literally how his speeches feel. Which is, uncomfortable, to say the least. Thank you for your hard work here.
I didn’t think I’d ever say this to any one, but “HubertManne, thank you for your service” o7
What did Hegseth think was going to happen? That all the generals were going to stomp their feet and hoot and holler? That they were going to pump their fists in the air and shout “YEEEAAAH!” ?
That sh*t might work on Private Pyle but those Generals had more important things to do and places to be. They’re pissed that they’ve been summoned from all over the world by a guy who calls their troops “suckers and losers” to take part in a pep rally.
This is what CEOs of failing companies do to make themselves seem important on their sinking ship.
He is such an idiot. Oh yes, let’s lecture career officers about what a real fighter looks like. It’s all just optics. Idiot.
General Grant would like a word
Bad optics, at that. Hegseth just created the single largest opsec failure that the US has seen in over a century and used it to complain to career military generals that they look too woke.
If literally any other man tried this at any other time in American history he’d be in front of a court martial so fast your head would spin.
We owe Benedict Arnold an apology. He had way better reasons for defecting, and was a legitimate soldier and commander before then.
I can’t say the same of any member of the Trump Regime.
He used to work for Fox News, of course he has a skewed view on the importance of optics.
Our military needs to be wearing Hugo Boss, stat!
Meanwhile, the supporting act, Mr Droopeye…
Captain Bone Spurs
Dementia Donnie
Depending on Depends Donald
Next years
birthdaymilitary parade is gonna be fire 🔥🔥🔥
