I’m not even vulgar or impolite. I just speak my mind, and it infuriates people
Does anyone have similar experiences?
Absolutely. I usually
expectThinking about the 70’s and 80’s when students could even live together in shared flats, some on the extreme political right, others on the extreme left, both reading their thought leaders original texts and sometimes we discussed for nights long.
The computer really changed social life dramatically. I was forming conciousness in 2005/6 before smartphones. My home didn’t have a home computer or anything. People engaged with each other. I spent most of my time outside. Later on in 2010s, I began using the internet. The internet revealed so much insight, made me lose faith in my parents’ religion quicker than perhaps natural. It made me more isolated due to learning more fringe but compelling ideologies and religions like buddhism, libertarianism, veganism, etc. I think the internet isolates ideologically, but the computer screen also isolates by grabbing bodies and sucking the soul out of them. “Digital zombies” is the term I’m thinking of. Every minute or second spent with a screen is NOT spent with a human being in real life, and that’s a big, big problem with the average screen time being 4-8hrs per day.
After a quick look at the communities you’ve been banned from they are heavily moderated in ways that can seem very arbitrary to outsiders who don’t share their opinions.
Communities on lemmy.ml: tankie echo chamber that bans anyone going against the narrative.
Blahaj/womensstuff/lgbt…: “safe spaces” that will moderate anything that (subjectively) might be considered offensive/bothersome to their main user categories. Womensstuff bans all men.
Whilst you in the Fediverse are free from the tyranny of a single overlord, you instead have to contend with all the little counts and lords you run into in their online fiefdoms. Thus: lower likelihood of getting a sitewide ban unless you are very extreme, but higher likelihood of accidentally stepping on someones toes and getting banned from a community by being a normal person.
This was very educational and i enjoyed very much when you described them as counts and lords in their online fierfdoms. Much respect to you and this comment
I doubt you will ever find a contraceptive as effective as your personality.
- fisting enthusiast
- nsfw
Lucky for me that flagrant porn addicts are not on my priority list to impress
Oh, I’m not an addict
I create it rather than consume it
That’s even worse. Like drug markets, producers are the problem.
Ohhhhhh…
You’re one of those
How’s the view from that high horse?
You are going to die alone and lonely
Every accusation is a confession
Your moderation history explains perfectly clearly why you have been banned. Even if it isn’t your intention, the type of language you have used has been used extensively in the past to harass minority groups, to the point that using that writing style is no longer acceptable in many communities.
Letting you know that you’ve peaked my interest because this sounds like a plausible explanation. I’ve been thinking along similar lines and described the phenomena as “word-fetishism” or “Lust” (for words, status, other things). I’m very curious as to hear what you are seeing
Piqued, for future reference.
Why is the word piqued an issue for some people?
Homophone error is pretty understandable for this one. Q shows up to make things weird (if sometimes kinda fun) just like on Star Trek.
Oh lmao I just auto-corrected that in my head xD
Feel like a doofus now
ah wow thanks i need people like you. I think this is the first time someone has actually revealed my ignorance to me. I have much respect for you now
Happy to help.
are you single
Absolutely not if you’re thinking of asking me out. Might go Mormon for another wife just in case.
I read through a couple of your banned comments in WomensStuff. You really seem to have “Lust” for calling everything “Lust” (like a woman holding a cup of coffee has a “Lust” for/addiction to coffee). Do you not see that this type of hyper-reductionist thinking irks people?
To answer your question, yes and no. I disagree it’s hyper-reductionist. I see it as just textbook definition. Yes in that I am beginning to realize that people are irked when I use dictionary definitions, but i have yet to learn which words are sensitive or buzzwords. Apparently, I’ve had one person describe my whole style of writing as problematic, so it may go beyond mere buzzwords. I’ll put “lust” in a spreadsheet and label it as a buzzword, or politically incorrect, or undiplomatic, or another synonym of the same thing.
I disagree it’s hyper-reductionist. I see it as just textbook definition.
But you’re not focusing on the most common textbook definition (and the one that’s used colloquially), you’re focusing on a secondary definition. For example, Merriam Webster lists these definitions:
- usually intense or unbridled sexual desire
- an intense longing
- (obsolete) pleasure, delight
You’re using the second definition while completely ignoring the first one. But how can people reading your comments know that you mean the less common definition? They can’t - they’ll assume at best that you mean both, at worst that you only mean the first.
And that’s ignoring that deriving a “lust for coffee” from a person holding a coffee cup is, by textbook definition, hyper-reductionist.
Yes in that I am beginning to realize that people are irked when I use dictionary definitions, but i have yet to learn which words are sensitive or buzzwords.
Again, it’s not about “dictionary definitions”, it’s about using secondary definitions of words which necessarily carry the connotation of their more common definitions. Even leaving that aside, words with similar definitions usually imply different strengths of their meaning. To give an example, imagine a photo of a university student studying at home while smiling. Which of the following descriptions is more accurate/better/less weird?
- They’re enjoying studying
- They have lust for studying
Focusing on the last example, a lust for studying would be those academia animes where it is the fetishistic appearance of studying. My conception for a lust for studying would be like school outfits or the words or ideas associated with studying. It may even be the smell of paper books, or the sensual things around the act of studying.
This is different from enjoying studying because that is more like love. I don’t think love and lust are the same thing, which explains that people are attracted and regret it afterward. The enjoyment of studying is more like passion.
I could also be using the wrong words. I don’t know what word to descrbe this odd but common “lookist” phenomena where people are just so infatuated with the mere appearnce of “studying” rather than the actual studying.
I understand that it seems silly on the surface to compare coffee to sex, but the motivation for sex and food are the same pathways in the brain. There are also idioms that compare sex to food and food to sex. People say that a hot woman makes their mouth drop and salivate. Why? Are you going to eat the woman? Oh yeah actually that relates to “eating out” like oral sex … or maybe “eating out” could mean going to a restaurant. Do you see how these are not that arbitrary to connect? An intense sexual desire is very generalizable outside of sex. This is what a fetish is too. A fetish is a sexual desire for non-sexual objects. However, I use lust has it is a bit more generalizable than a fetish which as clinical or medical connotations. Fetish has a more overt sexual connotation than lust … in my mind anyways.
I agree that I could try using the primary or first entry of the definition of words. I never thought they were categorized by popularity like that. I wonder if that’s true. if so, thanks for bringing that to my attention
I understand that it seems silly on the surface to compare coffee to sex, but the motivation for sex and food are the same pathways in the brain.
Oh, so you actually meant the sexual connotation? Then it should be even more clear why you got the reactions that you did: not only were you hyper-reductionist (“She holds a cup of coffee? She must be addicted!”), you also sexualized a woman doing something absolutely normal and non-sexual in a safe space for women. That’s actual incel behavior.
That’s like the least charitable intepretation possible. Clearly motivated reasoning and intellectually bad faith. I had the impression that you were going to play nicely
**piqued
someone beat you to the punch
What writing style would that be? What are the options?
What were the reasons given? Also, you’re talking to people, not the void… if you wanna feel welcomed, you might have to do some “empathetic self editing”. There’s a reason people do “compliment sandwiches”, you gotta make what you say palatable if you want to get your message across. People are not robots!
Reasons given? Ahaha wouldn’t that be nice. No reason given.
Trust me I do a lot of compliment sandwhiching, especially on email, and y’know what? it almost seems like it makes people megalomaniacal. They begin to see you as inferior and themselves as superior. They treat you even worse. As an opposite example, I had one email chain where I lost my temper a little. My loss of temper straighten them out and respect me. It was odd.
I was trained with the non-violent communication and conflict resolution, but in practice, people are much weirder and grotesque than those models suggest.
Do you know how to view mod logs? Click on the instance sidebar and you should see a modlog button. You can search by user.
ah yes thank you. I didn’t actually know how to do that. I really respect your effort here. This is an S-tier comment
I find the internet is a happier place if you let those kinds of communities do their own thing and avoid them.
Unless you whole heartedly go in with them, as they are a little to touchy for my world view.
Oh well. :/ If it makes you feel any better, I got banned from .ml for saying something close to “most of my friends are women because, just like me, they like to yap about feelings”. Sometimes there are things we can do and sometimes we just have to live with the world, I guess. 🤷
yeah the benevolent sexism online is unchecked and rampant. I got banned for calling out the benevolent sexism. Women are perfect angels always. God bless women. I love women. Women can shoot me dead and that would be just fine and even equitable considering women are underrepresented in the assassination job market.
I don’t know what to say to all of that, but it did make me chuckle. 😂 Funnily enough, I’m probably more of a “benevolent sexist” than not, but I never claimed that women and men are one and the same, and as such I have different expectations of each sex and can live with and prefer being softer on and expecting less accountability from ladies. I still prefer their company though, as most men I know just seem dull and/or uncivil…
The trick to happiness is to figure out which people you want to be pissing off. For me it’s the tankies and maga, when they ban me I know I’m doing right.
Dude you’re wise beyond your years. You figured out something. Reminds me of the idiom “choose your battles” and “cross to bear”. I cite Jordan Peterson begrudgingly because he has a bad reputation but he says some really great things sometimes like “You don’t get not to sacrifice, but you do get to choose what you sacrifice”. I’m paraphrasing but it was related to growing up and how we have to make sacrifices when we age. Knowing what you’re willing to die for, symbolically, literally, is important. It sounds like you’re willing to sacrifice your connections to the ideologically captured authoritarians, which can have real devastating effects, y’know? An internet ban is a pathetically, small, minuscule price to pay, but when they are in power, you may have to sacrifice a lot more like your opportunities, salary, and hell even your right to not be in jail. Anyways, i am making this deeper than necessarily demanded
