I’d always thought that making friends and talking to strangers was super hard. My whole life, I’ve struggled along with just a couple friends…
Recently I’ve been reshaping my life and have been trying to make new friends… I’m still working on the execution, but just talking to people and finding common ground and being social has become SO much easier than I always thought it was. I think the trick was to just stop caring what people thought about me and being proud to be my genuine self.
There’s a group I’ve been meeting up with regularly and we’re going to the zoo this Sunday, and bowling next Sunday, on top of our usually scheduled Thursday afternoon general social meetups :)
Another thing that helps is being an adult. Most people develop their social anxiety during their school years, where they are forced into an institution with a bunch of little psychopaths and never get the chance to reinvent themselves or meet completely new social groups.
Once you graduate high school, most people are much more mature, you can choose where and when to meet people so that they will likely align with your values and interests, and if you don’t like a particular social group or they don’t like you, you can just try out other ones.
Sheer will completely of my own volition, and some revelations that were sort of always there, but I finally grasped what was going on. Basically it boils down to for the last 20 years, I’ve been using romantic partners as a constant crutch to satisfy my social needs. My most recent breakup a couple months back had me really reflect on the past, and I realized that right now I need real true social connections, and don’t really need any romantic physical connection. I was in a situation I’d never really found myself in before (alone, basically, not looking to date), and I just started throwing myself at situations, meeting people, being super open and vulnerable, etc…
We ended up rescheduling the zoo, but we’re still going eventually… I was super ready and down to go, but I guess everyone else was a little too eager when discussing it originally and didn’t think about several things people already had on their calendars lol.
I’d always thought that making friends and talking to strangers was super hard. My whole life, I’ve struggled along with just a couple friends…
Recently I’ve been reshaping my life and have been trying to make new friends… I’m still working on the execution, but just talking to people and finding common ground and being social has become SO much easier than I always thought it was. I think the trick was to just stop caring what people thought about me and being proud to be my genuine self.
There’s a group I’ve been meeting up with regularly and we’re going to the zoo this Sunday, and bowling next Sunday, on top of our usually scheduled Thursday afternoon general social meetups :)
Another thing that helps is being an adult. Most people develop their social anxiety during their school years, where they are forced into an institution with a bunch of little psychopaths and never get the chance to reinvent themselves or meet completely new social groups.
Once you graduate high school, most people are much more mature, you can choose where and when to meet people so that they will likely align with your values and interests, and if you don’t like a particular social group or they don’t like you, you can just try out other ones.
What helped reshape your life? Books, therapy, something else? Asking for a friend.:)
Well done, btw.
Sheer will completely of my own volition, and some revelations that were sort of always there, but I finally grasped what was going on. Basically it boils down to for the last 20 years, I’ve been using romantic partners as a constant crutch to satisfy my social needs. My most recent breakup a couple months back had me really reflect on the past, and I realized that right now I need real true social connections, and don’t really need any romantic physical connection. I was in a situation I’d never really found myself in before (alone, basically, not looking to date), and I just started throwing myself at situations, meeting people, being super open and vulnerable, etc…
We ended up rescheduling the zoo, but we’re still going eventually… I was super ready and down to go, but I guess everyone else was a little too eager when discussing it originally and didn’t think about several things people already had on their calendars lol.