if you believe the only reason your partner isn’t cheating is that you’d find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?
If you have to use these things in a relationship, then you already have a problem.
Safety concerns aside, you should trust your partner enough to not need to track them
If a partner demand they have it on to prove they’re not cheating, then they should be looking for a different partner.
The partner demanding that is projecting like a Barco DP2K-32B.
Exactly. My girlfriend will disappear for an entire day and not come home until 10pm. I usually have no idea where she is or what she’s doing (mainly because I forget due to having ADHD), but I don’t worry about it because I know she’ll never cheat. How can a person even be with someone who they don’t trust? Without trust, there is no relationship IMO.
that doesn’t always work out the way you’re expecting though, but I agree, trust should be opt-out.
There is the case of the worriers. People who, when not given positive confirmation otherwise, assume the worst. I’m not talking cheating, but like accidents. “He’s 5 minutes late, maybe he got in a car accident and died!” It’s not healthy, but it is common and isn’t a trust issue.That said, my partner doesn’t get to track me, and I have no interest in tracking them.
I don’t think enabling it is a good idea though. Yeah, they might be worried, but they need to learn to handle those thoughts. Feeding them can only make it worse.
I mean that’s me to a T but I just suppress those thoughts.
For me, knowing my spouse’s location is just convenient for knowing ETA without bothering her. It’s not really about trust at all
Same. We both follow each other and neither of us care. We mostly have it enabled for the “just in case” scenario that anything happens to one of us. We can make sure that we know of our last known location.
I’ve also had her use it one time I was away from home in NYC. And I was too drunk to figure out which subway to take to get back to my hotel. So she walked me through step by step while on the phone with me. It fucking rocked.
Exactly my thought. It’s nothing to do with jealousy and just kind of convenient if you need to meet up or are seeing if they’re on their way home and can get dinner started or whatever.
I figure if my phone manufacturer and cell providers are tracking me all day, why not also my closest friends and family.
Relationships based on trust?!
Surely you jest!There should also be enough trust for either side to never use it except for emergencies.
Immature crap like this makes me very grateful to be a grownup married to a grownup.
‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’ - then fuck your girlfriend. How can you be in a relationship without trust?
I can’t believe the number of people in here with paranoia and shitty relationships that can’t communicate with their “partner”
My wife and I have location sharing enabled in case something happens to one of us. We usually don’t use it, but its good to have when we need to meet up at an unfamiliar place after something goes sideways for one of us.
But if your SO doesn’t trust you enough to allow you private moments and would accuse you of cheating, your relationship isn’t based on trust and thus is very weak.
So we have two camps.
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It’s a tool to be used and it’s a good thing to exists and I have it enabled forever
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Keep a gun pointed at it at all occasions and even if you use it, do so with heavy restrictions
I trust my partner and my partner trusts me but the idea of stalking her via app is mindboggling and, honestly, disgusting to me. Like a dog on a leash, always observed, always controlled. That’s some mind disease shit going on. Trust your partner dammit. Ya all have issues.
On the other hand though being violently agaisnt it cuz “oh my god privacy” is also funny. The recipent is your partner. Setting it up for some specific use case shouldn’t be a bother. It can be extremely usefull for example for grabbing shit in a mall - if you are not interested in going to the same shop, enable it, split, get what you need, join back, disable it.
What I am getting at is - it’s a tool, but an invasive and overly controlling one. Use it how you wish but do not perceive having it on constantly as normal. It literally sounds disgusting.
Edit: For people talking about privacy - we’re on lemmy. We all know how tracking works. An even if you have localisation off, your device will connect to local wifi and smart appliances to log your location anyway. So I am not really invested into discusing overall practice of having location on - only on sharing saud location.
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If you can’t trust your spouse without location, tracking, find another spouse.
No they need therapy not another spouse. They shouldn’t have a spouse at all until they’ve fixed their own insecurities.
I don’t want to share my location nor have anyone else’s shared with me.
Friends and partners can text “I’ll be there in 5”
My friend shares her location with her mother. Her mother then nags her with like “Are you seeing someone new? You’re spending a lot of time in north brooklyn now.” Like, who needs that, or even the temptation of that?
A tech solution is not going to fix a social/mental problem like fear of cheating.
My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.
But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.
Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.
My girlfriend and I share our locations mainly for convenience and safety. It’s nice to know that she’s 3 tram stops away from home so I can start cooking dinner for example. She’s also terrible at responding to texts and calls though lol
Yeah I know many who just use it as a practical tool in the day to day.
Even know friend groups who use it between themselves (they all live close together)
SnapMap is also very popular, obv less accurate but nice to see who is in town
Same with my wife. I even have it set up for my mother, so I know she’s safe. I don’t understand what the big deal is, as you say it’s a safety and convenience feature, it doesn’t mean you spend the day looking at the app to see where the other person is.
It’s not something I would do in a casual or new relationship, but if I’m with somebody for years, I value their safety over my (perceived) privacy.
And for the people who think this would prevent or bust cheating: lol. They can just turn it off and complain of bad reception, or leave their phone in their car, while they “shop at the mall”. Or just get a second phone. This app is not a substitute for trust
Regarding tech privacy: it’s not like other apps on your phone are not already tracking, I doubt anybody has their GPS constantly turned off. They already know your location, this one feature doesn’t make a difference.
For one, it wrecks your battery life.
Secondly, everyone I know my age keeps GPS off unless using a mapping program.
Finally regarding app privacy, people do care about that which is why grapheneos and other privacy focused OS’s exist.
The fact that you don’t care about privacy and want the government and corporations to have every sext you’ve ever received or sent doesn’t mean that others don’t care as well.
Google map’s location sharing does not even impact battery life.
This says otherwise https://geofinder.mobi/blog/does-location-sharing-drain-battery/
that might as well be AI generated. there are no numbers, just some dumb matrix with arbitrary reasoning and now evidence. I’m all for evidence to the contrary, but this is not that
While I can’t find any source to back up my claim that it certainly drains some amount of battery, can you provide any evidence that it doesn’t impact battery life? Given that GPS uses significant processing power
She could text you, no? It seems like getting her to be better at that is better than opening the can of worms involved with location sharing. For example, here’s some bad stuff that could happen:
- phone sells that data to advertisers
- gov’t gets that info and you trigger an alarm (maybe you went hiking a little too close to a sensitive area)
- data breach happens and now crooks know when you’re not home
- SO’s creepy friend sees your location and is secretly stalking you
Etc. Those probably aren’t super likely, but being able to avoid it all entirely with a little better communication sounds a lot better.
Sometimes it’s worth it, like you’re going hiking alone or going to a bad part of town.
Yes, clearly the solution is to make her change her behavior. Needing your SO to change themselves is definitely a sign of a healthy relationship.
In a committed relationship, each side should be open to small changes.
It’s really disturbing how everyone sees this practice through the lens of (mis)trust. Can you really think of no other reasons? Absurd.
Of all the dystopian things, this is probably the most dystopian thing I’ve read lately.
This is horrible.
People my age have their whole friend groups on location sharing apps like that, it’s awful.
Wtf? Is this the outcome of growing up with helicopter parents or where are those trust issues coming from?
I’m assuming this is a young group, and they’ve grown up in the always-connected, always-surveilled modern world.
I’ve met plenty of people that are surprised or even suspicious when I say that I try to avoid corporations and governments tracking me. I guess the Overton window has shifted so that people expect and accept constant surveillance.
As a fairly privacy conscious person, I also expect and accept that it’s happening too. I don’t think you can be privacy conscious and not accept that. You have to be ignorant to think you can hide it all. I do my best to keep as much data out of their hands as possible though. I don’t agree with it.
When I say I don’t accept, I don’t mean I live in denial, I mean I don’t acquiesce - I resist it, whether that be by avoiding services/products, paying for premium, installing ad blockers or modding things to remove telemetry.
I am aware that my phone company knows where I am and I’m on cameras, but I’m not going to make it easy for the next Cambridge Analytica.
It’s nothing about trust issues- privacy is just a foreign concept to that generation. It was dead and gone before they were born. They take for granted that eveyone has their phone on them at all times and is never unreachable, so knowing where all your friends are is just a matter of convenience.
I’ve actually done a little to combat this, in my personal life (apart from ordinary privacy stuff like librewolf und Linux). I got so sick of the majority of my friends expecting me to reply to every text message within 30 minutes, and then getting extremely offended when I didn’t (simply because I don’t look at my phone that often), that I turned off read-receipts on all my messaging apps, and set my notifications to only arrive in groups at specific times of day.
Then I made a habit of not answering unimportant messages for a few days, until I got the reputation that I pretty much don’t use my phone (I also don’t use conventional social media, and none of my friends even know I’m in lemmy). This worked like a charm! My social life much, much less stressful.
I’ve broken the absurd contract that so many people seem to think they have a right to. My time is now my own. I can highly recommend this system! Of course, I can’t do it for work-related stuff, but it still really has reduced my stress by a lot.
Helicopter parents have got nothing to do with it.
Witch your age group. Do you mind giving examples where it’s been helpful and maybe examples when it’s not been so helpful?
Like 16-17, I don’t talk to the people that do that too much because they’re not the type of person I like hanging out with, so I don’t really know why they do it.
It’s like an extension of their group chats, on snapchat.
Some friends of mine have literally hundreds of friends with their Snapchat location sharing on
Why, though?
Most people my age that I know have location tracking shared with SO’s. It’s considered a step in the relationship.
Grim
It’s be a step out of the relationship with me.
Here’s something even worse, IMO, if you’d like to check it out.
Isn’t it strange that “trusting” someone now, means letting them constantly spy on you?
I talked to some late teens about it some months ago. They see it as an “I give you permission to see my every move” kind of thing, as in they have nothing to hide. And they do it pretty early on in relationships, as a show of commitment.
I got my SO to turn off location tracking on Snapchat because I got a message from a family member about his location. She had screenshotted his location from the snap map, searched the address, found the person living there, searched him up, found out he’s also gay, and wondered if I knew he was out with another man?! FYI we attended a dinner party at the guys home.
That’s the level of insane some people get. Constant surveillance, mixed with insecurities and stories of cheating, and you’ve got a shitty ass cocktail.
Me having location shared with my partner of 20 years is one thing. But sharing it with anyone else? Fuck no.
I wouldn’t even share my location with my SO of 10+ years. Why? They don’t need it, and there’s tons of potential negative things with that (phone manufacturer sells it, gov’t takes it w/ backdoor deals, breach reveals it, etc).
I don’t want my SO’s location information, and they shouldn’t want mine. If I’m doing some high risk activity, like doing a long hike alone, sure, but it’s going off immediately after.
