Sweet baby Jesus I can see this whole thing in my head every time I read it, these previews are so cookie cutter it’s insane
I absolutely hate this, but can’t deny that it’s accurate
The fact that they show a Dark Souls poster and proceed to describe an Elden ring movie is very funny. Like the producers don’t know the difference.
they’d be proud of the fact that they never played video games, let alone the source material.
look at interviews surrounding halo paramount, “we want to tell our own story in this setting” then proceeds to make garbage that actively disrespects the source.
“We didn’t look at the game. We didn’t talk about the game. We talked about the characters and the world. So I never felt limited by it being a game.”
The quote is amazing.
that’s an even better quote than the one I remembered
I hate that I can visualize this greentext so easily.
AI will create this movie 20 years from now, I hope you’re happy.
I’m predicting 20 months
Psh there’s probably some Jabroni already working on it as we speak
That was unfortunately a Jack Black of a different era. This one abandons his lifelong friend to be as hollywood safe as possible for saying meanie-bobeanie things about trump (as a comedian on a stage that is known for political jokes)
Pretty good soundtrack too.
Yup. Most that you can fault it for, is the mechanics later in the game, which try to teach you how to play multiplayer, getting too repetetive.
Because of course the game had PvP battling with music stages as bases.
I think the main issue people had was it had lot of RTS sections further in.
They weren’t actually that bad, but the demo gave no clue that the main chunk of gameplay was going to be running around issuing orders rather than the basic heavy metal themed hack-and-slash it pretended to be.
Final shot is Jack Black clumsily wading through a poison swamp, “not again!”
The swamp itself farts with every green bubble that boils and pops on the surface.
THIS SUMMER, ROB SCHNEIDER DOOP DE DERP DEE DOODLEY DERP
This summer, unfortunately, Rob Schneider is
going, FULL MAGA.
zoom in on Schnieder doing a goofy face while wearing a red baseball cap as a slide whistle plays and he says “Who’s afraid of the big, bad gays?”
Now playing Elle King - The Let Go
(Rob Schneider’s daughter)
You can do it Rob Schneider’s daughter! Sing your fucking heart out!
“What? Who cares? YOU’LL WATCH IT. Fuck you.”
Movie is called Dark Souls, plot is Elden Ring. Hollywood on par for the course.
Reminds me of the director Jon Peters who wanted a giant spider in Superman and was shot down. So he got Wild West and put a giant spider in there.
Hollywood does whatever Hollywood wants.
“Ah sweet, a new Miyazaki film!”
Wrong Miyazaki! Go back!
*gets bogged down in poison swamp*
They need to combine forces so Studio Ghibli makes a Dark Souls/Elden Ring movie, and Fromsoft makes a game about Princess Mononoke or something.
Would a dark souls movie actively keep anyone with a handicap from entering the theater?
“In order to enter the theatre, you need to be able to get past The Wall.”
Based af
“Praise the sun!” Start trashing the cinema and blasting take on me full volume
Tbh, i’d love a dark souls movie with Jack Black and Nick Cage.
Jack Black as Solaire would work. I can see the jolly cooperation now
And a shaven Adam Sandler as patches. This would truly be an awful film. I’d see it. Not in theaters, certainly. Not even my own streaming subscription. But eventually I’ll be on someone’s couch and exactly drunk enough to dare them to put it on.
This is how I ended up seeing Sonic 3.
Did I enjoy Jim Carrey? Yes, very much so.
Do I want to go back and see Sonic 2, which I completely missed? No.You did it right
You’re on the money, Cageman is who this movie needs
Nick Cage
Ew.
I’m on board for Jack Black though.
That actually sounds incredible lmao
Honestly, anything w/ Jack Black is incredible. He somehow saved the Minecraft movie for me by turning it into a weird School of Rock nostalgia trip.
