(To any boys, my body is stupid cause it’s mine not cause it’s a boy, love you all)
Today I was in my library’s chinese literature section, and books like Peacock cries and Eileen Chang’s works were catching my eye (Side note:is there such a little amount of queer work from the mainland? I know lgbtq stuff isn’t exactly utopian there, but there’s so little stuff I can find on the western internet. If anyone has any sources and English translations [or just sources for chinese books, since im learning chinese rn] please send them my way)… While I was browsing I was just wishing I had a girl-friend or girlfriend with me to talk to about this stuff. Then I though maybe there was some lesbian reading group I could join somewhere in my city. Who knows, might as well check. And then I remembered that I haven’t even started to transition yet. I’m still a boy, and it just sucks so much. How could I ever date someone before I start transitioning? Can I even interact with girls in the way I want to in this dumb body? Why is there so much hair everywhere?
I know being a girl isn’t effortless or perfect, and I know that being a pretty girl is even harder. But why did my life have to be extra hard like this?
“But why did my life have to be extra hard like this?” It is only through struggle that we can come to understand ourselves and move forward into a brighter, more prosperous future. Your work might be hard, but that just proves that your struggle carries so much weight. If you get through it—figure it out—you use the tools you grow and understand to uplift others, putting them on the fast track to understanding and prosperity. That is not to disregard that what you’re going through right now is very hard. I hope that you find what you need comrade. Solidarity!