(To any boys, my body is stupid cause it’s mine not cause it’s a boy, love you all)
Today I was in my library’s chinese literature section, and books like Peacock cries and Eileen Chang’s works were catching my eye (Side note:is there such a little amount of queer work from the mainland? I know lgbtq stuff isn’t exactly utopian there, but there’s so little stuff I can find on the western internet. If anyone has any sources and English translations [or just sources for chinese books, since im learning chinese rn] please send them my way)… While I was browsing I was just wishing I had a girl-friend or girlfriend with me to talk to about this stuff. Then I though maybe there was some lesbian reading group I could join somewhere in my city. Who knows, might as well check. And then I remembered that I haven’t even started to transition yet. I’m still a boy, and it just sucks so much. How could I ever date someone before I start transitioning? Can I even interact with girls in the way I want to in this dumb body? Why is there so much hair everywhere?
I know being a girl isn’t effortless or perfect, and I know that being a pretty girl is even harder. But why did my life have to be extra hard like this?
I feel you 😢
I heard that Danmei/BL novels are rather popular in China, so take a look at that if you’re interested. The only works I know of are Mo Dao Zu Shi and Tian Guan Ci Fu.
“But why did my life have to be extra hard like this?” It is only through struggle that we can come to understand ourselves and move forward into a brighter, more prosperous future. Your work might be hard, but that just proves that your struggle carries so much weight. If you get through it—figure it out—you use the tools you grow and understand to uplift others, putting them on the fast track to understanding and prosperity. That is not to disregard that what you’re going through right now is very hard. I hope that you find what you need comrade. Solidarity!
This reminds me of myself when I was in highschool, I’m sorry you’re struggling comrade. If you want to discuss any barriers to your transition I’m here with you and I may be able to help. In any case stay strong, your future is one piece of our collective future and that is worth fighting for.
Remember that medical transitioning isn’t everything. You can still be yourself, date, wear clothes that you want etc. Don’t let your body be a limit. (And hey a lot of us girls have hair everywhere)
I’m not familiar with queer literature in China but I think it would be pertinent to look at writers or publishing houses in and around Sichuan and mainly Chengdu as there is a big LGBT+ community there in general
