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My boss’s boss, a former Ops manager who liked to keep track of system stats, once asked her why the CPU usage on the dev box had decreased that month. Weren’t the devs doing any work?
Don’t forget the invocation
if (CompareBooleans(a, b) == true)if (CompareBooleans(CompareBooleans(a, b), true))I don’t like this thread anymore :(
No, no, this is actually the only correct code in the thread.
that… actually works…
Management: Gee whiz, we really have no idea how to gauge productivity to decide who gets promoted. We could manage. Or, better, we could just have someone write a script that pulls info from git on how many lines of code each person has written.
Programmers:
I promote based on lines of code removed.
I quit based on idiotic metrics
Ah, the idiotic idiotic metric metric.
Are you 14?
I don’t know what the age metric has to do with anything.
I’m sure it was meant as a joke, not a serious criticism.
I think we can all agree that managers who have no idea what’s important absolutely suck
Which is all the easier to do when you start off with a higher number…
Add heavily verbose/redundant math equations that take up multiple lines with each operation saving to a new variable, then either decrease the number of variable declarations or condense/simplify the math occasionally. Repeat with each new function. Killing two metrics at once LOC and the removal of LOC for older functions. Guaranteed promotions. lol
Wait areBooleanEqual returns false when they are equal?
yesn’t
This actually made me laugh, thank you.
That’s not even the worst part. What the fuck does a function named Compare_anything do? Does it return anything? It sounds like nothing but a side effect.
Usually comparison functions are supposed to return an integer and are usually useful for sorting. However this one returns a bool so it’s both useless and terribly named.
The unnecessary and confusing functions are horrible, yes, but I’d still say that the fact that they’re wrong is the “worst” part.
That’s enough chit-chat, nerds. Back to work.
- Management
I’m a bit disappointed there isn’t a call to GetBooleanValue in there
If this were a Node module, I wouldn’t even be surprised.
WTAF? Is this written by a hallucinating AI?
I think it’s a joke (maybe)
I don’t think this is the sort of error an AI would make.
I’ve asked ChatGPT to create boiler plate code and it will offer these nested functions so you can change the logic in the future. It’s not smart enough to ask why you’re doing something a particular way or suggest a better alternative.
This is code after working 16 hours
I’d give my right hand this is a code review problem. Someone extracted a method returning true false. Then an intern came along and was told to refactor. They saw a lot of comparisons and “extracted” them.
My coworker made an array of book to express a status. This is no doing of an intern but a much eviler force at play.
Two wrongs don’t make a right, but sometimes in programming, two bugs can cancel each other out.
Whoever wrote this is more than capable of using it incorrectly.
There’s no way, that’s so insane it has layers.
At first, I thought the shitty methods were the joke 😱😱😱
can’t believe they forgot to implement
bool IsTrue(bool)andbool IsFalse(bool)🙄Clearly it should be
return orig == valDuh
To match the current behavior it should be orig != val
You’re hired. Can your start on Monday?
I misread it as CompareBolians. No more Star Trek memes for me today.
Many Bolians died bringing us this information.
Straight from the famous book “Making LOCs for Dummies”
