Not the most recent, because this happened years ago, but I once managed to run over my own hand with an office chair – while I was sitting on it.
That’s pretty amazing actually. How did you manage such a feat?
I noticed I had dropped a piece of paper, and one of the wheels was on top of it. I tried to do a little hop to quickly pull the paper out, and somehow I landed on the hand pulling the paper.
So technically I more hopped onto more than ran over the hand, but I took some narrative liberties for comedic effect.
Thanks for the update. Hopping instead of running over doesn’t take any points from the feat. Good job!
Mine is a textbook example of a self inflicted knife wound that involved separating frozen burger patties with a very sharp knife. Knife slides between the patties and into the palm of my hand. I managed to not pass out and make it to urgent care where they stitched the cut together. Still have some nerve damage. Don’t do stupid things with sharp knives kids.
Or dull knives. Maybe butter knives but that’s as far as I’d go.
A sharp knife is a safe knife, a dull knife is a dangerous knife.
I like “A sharp knife does what you want. A dull knife does what it wants.”
A sharp knife that’s supposed to be sharp is a safe knife.
A sharp knife that’s supposed to be dull (like a butter knife) is a dangerous one.
That’s fair, it is all about the knife being predictable.
Someone had downvoted you and I find that really odd.
I’ve got nerve damage on two fingers tips, one on each hand, from incidents 20+ years apart. Fucking sucks trying to fish a screw out of a small space, stuff like that. And yes, both times I was being extraordinarily stupid and earned a lifetime handicap.
I was opening a box that was taped shut with a screwdriver, pulling it towards myself to rip open the tape. The rest of the tape went a lot faster than I was expecting, and since I was still pulling I wound up jabbing myself in the stomach (just bruised, I’m fine).
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Definitely grabbing scissors or a knife next time and going away from myself!
Had me in the first half, NGL.
I can’t believe the box was taped shut with a screwdriver
Haha, I probably should have written that more coherently, huh
Gosh that’s usually one of those mistakes you only make once. Just thrust the opposite direction next time please 🙏
I will, and I promise to be controlled and purposeful with my thrusting in the future 😁
me and knives and cutters of any sort do not get along. i usually use a key on my keychain to open taped boxes (like from mail order). just poke it on one end and run it through. no risk to anything. i still have the last scar from the last time i used a knife to open a box, years ago.
Thumbed myself in the eye trying to catch a ball. Saw double for a bit.
Oof 😥
It was an embarrassing moment of obscene un-coordination.
10 minutes before this comment, I was washing a knife and it accidentally slipped from my hands. Obviously instincts take over first and I grabbed it. The tip of the knife placed itself perfectly on my pinky.
A falling knife has no handle. Just have to retrain that reflex so you get your hands and feet clear and pick it up after.
Many times reflex got me moving and I froze at the last second. Of course my reflexes are nearly superhuman. So fine that I’ve stood and watched a knife fall and stab me in the foot. (More than once.)
Sleeping. Woke up one day to frozen shoulder. Two years of physio and it’s still not right. Fucking aging. Being 50+ sucks arse.
Our bed adjusts via remote control, which my toddler loves to play with. That little shit tweaked it just enough for me not to notice, but enough for my neck to hurt for an entire week.
Left the cupboards open and then did dishes within 5 minutes and after leaning down, I hit my head on one of the open cabinet doors.
pizza.
ya, you know what happened. it’s still peeling off on the inside of my mouth.
Paper cut on a friggin fry cup at work.
I reached for something. mid-40s…
Not recent, but sneezing and holding it in. Threw my back so bad I couldn’t walk for weeks. Ever since then, I’ll let it rip – into my elbow or a napkin.
A few months ago, saw a medical scan of someone with a big tear in their throat. The story claimed it was due to a held sneeze. Nowadays, you shouldn’t believe anything on the internet, but after my own experience, I could see how it might happen.
Using a mandolin slicer to cut a cucumber, got too close and the tip of my finger ended up in the cuke bowl
Cut-resistant gloves are a must for a mandolin!
Did the fingerprint grow back?
It was still barely hanging on by a bit so I superglued it down, small scar on the side but otherwise back to normal
i continually rotate the angle of the cutted object so that there is more force concentrated at a smaller impact area.
also when i start reaching the end i progressively slow way down. by the time i reach the nub i am either cutting with conventional knife or just slowly forcing the last bit through.
kinda sucks because its supposed to be fast.
Not a serious injury just poor technique. Was sharpening like 10 knives on a stone and didn’t realize I was grinding some of my guide finger also.
Oh god. Did that after the last hurricane. Didn’t have power so I got drunk and sharpened every knife in the house. Didn’t notice I was wiping the super-fine stone until much later when I realized quite a bit of skin got polished off.
Thank god I’m not alone, haha
At least no one can say you aren’t the sharpest.
I pushed too quickly on my french press and an eruption of hot coffee water shot up the sleeve of my robe, which trapped it against my arm long enough to burn the skin. I am hoping for no blister, but I have a 4cm red triangle on my forearm now.
Not recent. I was cooking a frozen pizza and when I took it out of the oven, the pot holder I was using slipped and I ended up with my bare fingers on the pan. It was only a minor burn since I dropped the pizza and pan on the floor almost immediately. It had been a really stressful week and I was at my breaking point. I left the pizza and pan on the floor and just went to my bedroom. Fuck that day.
Edit: Invest in decent pot holders and oven mitts. You are worth it.
I recently discovered the joys of silicone hot pads. The stove literally cannot get hot enough to melt silicone (2577°F), no reason they shouldn’t last forever. They’re also nice and grippy! $2 at the hardware store.
Plus! To clean grease or spills off them (silicone hot MITTS, that is) you just put them on and wash your hands with dish soap! And you can immediately use them, even if still damp, without steam scorching your hands!
But note: they will not protect you from bougainvillea thorns, you need gardening gloves for that.