Can’t break resolutions you don’t make!

I’m gonna stop smoking because I got copd and I think in fked if I smoke

Resolution: bitch slap anyone that claims they’re doing “dry January”.

This year’s different tho 😮‍💨

This year’s starting strong for me; I baked a box of brownies 2 hours after New Year’s, and ate them all within 48 hours.

Let my waistline go