Being a parent is awesome if you want to be one and it aligns with your personality. Our existences are largely shaped by our relationships (I say this as an introverted AuDHD nerd) and being a parent is probably the most significant and transformative relationship in the lives of people who are parents.
However, I know that I have always been a kid person and also always wanted to be a parent. And then my wife and I couldn’t have kids for the longest time, went through some more years of pain with adoptions falling through, and then finally had our own biological kid. And not only is he somehow perfect in a better way than we could have designed ourselves, but his neurospices seem to mimic mine so it’s like I have a superpower for relating to him and interpreting his issues.
I assume that qualifies me pretty high on the scale of Lemmy users who are very much into being a parent. I’ll wear that rank proudly.
With those decades of experience and the satisfaction of how it is currently going, plus all the stuff I learned navigating my mental issues alongside it, I am quite confident saying that having kids is NOT for everybody, and it will NOT fix your problems.
Raising kids is probably a potentially good experience for most people, sure, but in supportive circumstances.
Unfortunately, society pressures people to conform to the norm, and the huge “you are supposed to start a family now” step usually comes right after you were pushed to go into tons of student debt, marry the first person you dated for longer than a year, then top up the debt to get an overpriced house and vehicle or two.
Being a parent is awesome if you want to be one and it aligns with your personality. Our existences are largely shaped by our relationships (I say this as an introverted AuDHD nerd) and being a parent is probably the most significant and transformative relationship in the lives of people who are parents.
However, I know that I have always been a kid person and also always wanted to be a parent. And then my wife and I couldn’t have kids for the longest time, went through some more years of pain with adoptions falling through, and then finally had our own biological kid. And not only is he somehow perfect in a better way than we could have designed ourselves, but his neurospices seem to mimic mine so it’s like I have a superpower for relating to him and interpreting his issues.
I assume that qualifies me pretty high on the scale of Lemmy users who are very much into being a parent. I’ll wear that rank proudly.
With those decades of experience and the satisfaction of how it is currently going, plus all the stuff I learned navigating my mental issues alongside it, I am quite confident saying that having kids is NOT for everybody, and it will NOT fix your problems.
Raising kids is probably a potentially good experience for most people, sure, but in supportive circumstances.
Unfortunately, society pressures people to conform to the norm, and the huge “you are supposed to start a family now” step usually comes right after you were pushed to go into tons of student debt, marry the first person you dated for longer than a year, then top up the debt to get an overpriced house and vehicle or two.