So… I got my diver’s license as soon as I turned 18. It was a very stressful period of my life, and I hated everything about driving. They promised me freedom, but I got shackled.
Passing the exam as a nightmare (took me 3 attempts) and even during the lessons the professor saw how horribly tense I was. I got sick just by thinking about the car.
Once I passed, my family decided that I’d get over my fears by forcing me to drive, every single day, for weeks, with the whole family in the car, yelling, mocking me…
I had several panic attacks that were dismissed as lack of maturity, and I stopped driving. It’s been years.
But now I’m going to have to get better at this due to circumstances, and I’m scared.
I feel that I can’t focus on all the elements of the road, I have a very hard time calculating distances because I’m very short (edit: 1’50m, if that is relevant) and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I’ll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.
My car is automatic, so no stick to worry about.
If you have read all I wrote, I’ll greatly appreciate any advice or encouragement. Thank you
There is such good advice here. I’ll add a little more.
Background: I’ve been driving for over 20 years. I used to do long distance drives (8+ hours daily), over mountain passes, fog, rain, snow, darkness, you name it.
Recently had some of the most stressful times in my life, and I’ve been having panic attacks behind the wheel. This was about 5 months ago, so I’ve worked my, way back to driving 4h in a day in city and on highway.
What really helped me get back to driving again was starting really slow. I used to be so afraid of even thinking about getting behind the wheel again, so I’d start by just sitting in it. Get comfortable and take as long as you need. Remember - you’re in control. You control, not the car, not your panic. Self talk helped me a lot. Once you overcome this, you level up.
Next, I had my partner (find someone you trust who is going to support you not make fun or mock you) with me, and we would do short drives on a familiar route that didn’t involve big streets or highways. This way, I can pull over at any time.
A little thing that did help me was a little heat pack in my pocket or lap. When I felt a panic attack threatening to come on, my hands get cold so I hold on to the heat pack. I’d also remember to breathe deep through my belly, because sometimes I realise I’m taking only shallow breaths through my chest only. My psychologist also mentioned that temperature helps, especially cold… So maybe an ice pack wrapped in a towel on your lap might help too.
When we do our grocery drives, we take the same route all the time. He wouldn’t ask me to drive, he would always assume that he’s driving, and I’ll ask when I’m ready. This support person shouldn’t be pressuring you at all. You are in control.
Eventually, you get comfortable with the patterns, and you can slowly move up from that. I’m driving in my own again without heat packs or my partner beside me.
I’m not too sure about the height thing and what can be safely used, so I’m sorry I can’t provide any suggestions. Someone did say a cushion, and I imagine there are things out there that strap securely to the seat and you’d be able to use safely.
It’ll take a lot of time, but you can overcome your fears. I felt so helpless and hopeless when I first had to put my car keys down, but it feels so good to have a set of wheels again. It offers so much more freedom. The end goal is being comfortable and confident driving. You are stronger than you think. 💪