So… I got my diver’s license as soon as I turned 18. It was a very stressful period of my life, and I hated everything about driving. They promised me freedom, but I got shackled.
Passing the exam as a nightmare (took me 3 attempts) and even during the lessons the professor saw how horribly tense I was. I got sick just by thinking about the car.
Once I passed, my family decided that I’d get over my fears by forcing me to drive, every single day, for weeks, with the whole family in the car, yelling, mocking me…
I had several panic attacks that were dismissed as lack of maturity, and I stopped driving. It’s been years.
But now I’m going to have to get better at this due to circumstances, and I’m scared.
I feel that I can’t focus on all the elements of the road, I have a very hard time calculating distances because I’m very short (edit: 1’50m, if that is relevant) and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I’ll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.
My car is automatic, so no stick to worry about.
If you have read all I wrote, I’ll greatly appreciate any advice or encouragement. Thank you
I’m very grateful for your answer. I’m definitely going to take small steps, and they can laugh at me as much as they want.
At one point my father decided that the best idea was to make me face my fears by forcing me to drive up a mountain, through an old road. This road went both directions but only had enough width for 1 car, and safety fences only at some points.
I went up decently, but when I had to drive down, the cliffs terrified me and a car was coming from the opposite direction.
I don’t remember how I got home, and that was the last time I drove.
I appreciate your concern, thank you, really.