So… I got my diver’s license as soon as I turned 18. It was a very stressful period of my life, and I hated everything about driving. They promised me freedom, but I got shackled.

Passing the exam as a nightmare (took me 3 attempts) and even during the lessons the professor saw how horribly tense I was. I got sick just by thinking about the car.

Once I passed, my family decided that I’d get over my fears by forcing me to drive, every single day, for weeks, with the whole family in the car, yelling, mocking me…

I had several panic attacks that were dismissed as lack of maturity, and I stopped driving. It’s been years.

But now I’m going to have to get better at this due to circumstances, and I’m scared.

I feel that I can’t focus on all the elements of the road, I have a very hard time calculating distances because I’m very short (edit: 1’50m, if that is relevant) and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I’ll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.

My car is automatic, so no stick to worry about.

If you have read all I wrote, I’ll greatly appreciate any advice or encouragement. Thank you

  • Phoenixz@lemmy.ca
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    17 hours ago

    On the “promised me freedom” thing: ever considered a bike? That got me more freedom than a car ever did.

    Then again, that’s Europe. If you live in the US, or just anywhere in the Americas, that won’t work of course

    • howler@lemmy.zipOP
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      10 hours ago

      I have a bike (a blessing), but the distance I have to cover is too big and I live in a mountainous area with awful weather. Sometimes I pedal against the wind and I remain stationary lmao