I deleted the previous post because its too confusing.
I don’t think it’s consistent in any parents but gender and age of everyone does play a part. Our relationships with our kids are shaped by our relationships with our own parents and our own underlying beliefs regarding kids.
It’s more about the person than the gender of the parent. Ignoring that some people have two parents of the same gender, or live in single parent families, I get along better with my father as he actually listens to me.
Yeah, I feel like it matters a lot which parent is 1) more engaged/active/shares your interests 2) nicer/more understanding.
Reposting my own answer from the old thread:
Me personally (am male), I feel like my dad is just more “chill” normally, but like feels kinda uninvolved, doesn’t really care deeply about kids too much…
My mother on the other hand… well… gets more involved with us, but swings between “lovely caring mother” to “tiger mom” like a pendulum… emotionally abusive… very confusing…
It’s like, my mom has “warmth”, but it’s as if the summer heat, and the fire gets out of control very quickly and it burns and it hurts when the fire does get out of control.
My dad is just like autumn or maybe spring, lacks “warmth”, but is otherwise the atmosphere is kinda “chilly” and you won’t get sunburned… most of the time.
I honestly don’t know… I don’t like getting burned by fires, but I’m also desparate for “warmth”.
So confusing…
Have you ever heard of love bombing?
Speaking VERY GENERALLY and no I dont want to argue about this. 0 to 5 tend to gravitate towards their mother because they want to feel nurtured and protected. 6 to 12 tend to gravitate to their father because they are more likely to encourage behavior that carries an element of risk as they want to try new things or develop skills.
But they also arent stupid and pretty fast pick up on which parent to take what to for the best outcome.
