Garak: So, let me get this straight, Doctor. This “Santa Claus” operates a vast, real-time information gathering regime, collects data to judge everyone on the planet, and categorizes them into the beautifully binary groups of “naughty” and “nice” for the purpose of facilitating later actions based upon membership of one or the other group?
Bashir: I don’t think that’s quite the moral of the story here, Garak, but yes, that is…accurate.
Garak: And to whom does this “Santa Claus” report?
Bashir: No one, as far as I’m aware, anyway.
Garak: Fascinating. I say, dear Doctor, there may be hope for your species yet.
Garak: This Mr. Claus, he also keeps an entire subspecies of your planet as slave labor who don’t question his rule at all? They toil at their tasks without fail and have the ability to make perfectly indiscernible imitations of proprietary products.
Bashir: That’s not the point, Garak.
Garak: The further I research this Santa fellow the more I begin to admire him, and fear his capabilities.
OMG we need to crowdfund a DS9 Christmas special.
Garak is not afraid of Santa Claus
He’s afraid of the Santa Clause
