You know, the guy who’s been having that same angry conversation about the same fucking thing he’s been obsessed with for the last 5 years and demands that you take his view while going on long monologues and then immediately interrupting anyone who tries to get a word in edgewise? And then goes into a weeks-long suicidal despair if you try to leave the conversation? Any way to deal with that?

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.works
    21·
    7 hours ago

    I’ve been working inpatient psychiatry for almost a decade now and here’s how we talk people out of delusions…

    …you don’t. Confronting the delusion directly helps their brain practice protecting the false belief system and strengthens the neural links / pathways. It’s like the ruts made by a wagon wheel, the more the wagon travels the path the deeper they get. You can try and haul the wagon up out of the ruts onto a different part of the road using brute strength but 10 seconds later it’s gonna fall back in and you’ll exhaust yourself trying to wear a new track so close to the old one. You’re much better served just sending the wagon somewhere else entirely and waiting for the ruts to erode on their own (this metaphor also maps well to addictive / difficult to discontinue behaviors; it’s often easier to disengage from the entire constellation of behaviors and stimuli around the habit, including things like people and places, than it is to just stop the habit itself).

    So if you really do love this person and want to bring them out of it, do your best to send the wagon somewhere else. Just glaze over for a second while they rant, then change the subject and engage fully with something reality based you can create a connection with. Try to connect over knitting or gardening or woodworking or music or old movies or sports or whatever other hobby or social activity / discussion you can use to connect with them over that’s reality based.

    That’s how COVID sucked them into all this. It broke up the knitting groups and gardening clubs and cooking classes and all anybody had left to socialize with was Facebook conspiracies. If we want out, we need to focus on rebuilding those communities.