• MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    Straight facts:

    I am a straight man. Hello everyone. I hope you’re all having a wonderful day.

    Also a fact, I support all peoples choices in terms of what they like and how they identify. Not sure why I would care if someone else wants to be gay, bi, trans, hereto/cis, queer, lesbian, etc. I’m not those things, I’m not sure why it would bother anyone that someone else likes things? Whatever.

    Also a fact from a straight guy, aka, straight fact.

    While I can recognise that some masculine figures are handsome/good looking, I do not… And I can’t stress this enough… I do not feel any attraction to men.

    They can be rather good looking, but that doesn’t make me want to get them naked and fool around.

    If you have excitement in your pants for someone of the same gender, well… I have news for you… And there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Be who you are. Anybody who gives a shit is probably not worth knowing.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net
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      4 hours ago

      A term that I find useful is “platonic aesthetic attraction”.

      It’s a term that I learned through the ace community when I was going through the common bisexual experience of “am I bi though, or am I just asexual?”. It turned out I was bi, but I find the split model of attraction is a useful framework.

      Platonic Aesthetic attraction is when you’re able to see someone and go “now that is a beautiful man”, but not experience any attraction in the conventional sense of the word. I personally find it useful because even though I do experience sexual or romantic attraction to people of all genders, that doesn’t mean I experience that for everyone. Sometimes a beautiful person is just a beautiful person.


      Edit: got mixed up, and said “Platonic attraction” when I meant “aesthetic attraction”. Thanks to @[email protected] for the correction

      • gerryflap@feddit.nl
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        2 days ago

        What you’re describing is aesthetic attraction I think. Platonic attraction is more like advanced friendship afaik, more based on personality.

        • Log in | Sign up@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          I like the term aesthetic attraction. That’s useful.

          There are plenty of women I find aesthetically attractive, and some that I find attractive in the hormone surge kind of way, but only rarely do they hold appeal for me as a potential partner, and personality plays a massive role there.

          I can tell that some men are aesthetically handsome, but without the hormone rush.

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        This reminds me a lot of love. People can’t, or don’t, by default, differentiate different forms of love, though, there are many.

        If you express love for anyone that isn’t blood related, the implication is that you want to copulate with them, and often, that’s far from the truth.

        I love a lot of people, but not in that way. Right now, the only person I love who I want to copulate with is my partner. At the same time, I have a large group of friends that I also love, as a kind of trust and friendship love, though they’re not related to me through blood, in any way, shape, or form (Besides us both being human, I guess).

        Commoners in society are extremely reductive, so the nuances of such things often escape them.

        You can like, love or even find something attractive, and that doesn’t define you. You define yourself. That’s the privilege of sapience. We can decide such things about ourselves.

      • rhombus@sh.itjust.works
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        2 days ago

        I’ve always heard platonic attraction as a strong desire to form a deep platonic connection with a specific person. It’s wanting to be close with a person and form a deep bond, but no sexual or physical connection.

        I think you’re just describing finding a person attractive vs being attracted to a person. I haven’t heard a term for it before.

    • Hudell@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 days ago

      For me it’s not even that. I have zero clue about men being good lucking or not except for those who look similar to someone that has been described to me as good lucking or not.

      With women I have “some” clue in general and then there’s also some women that I personally find very attractive and others don’t. But even the most beautiful women don’t really give me any desire to do anything sexual with them unless they (or myself) first do something to make me think of it - so I might be closer to ace than actually straight.

      • BeeegScaaawyCripple@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        i mean for me the sexiest feature is personality. no matter how fast you want to go, that generally reveals slower than say, flashing a titty.

        • Aqarius@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          Then again, taking your top off in public does reveal a lot about your personality.

    • chemicalprophet@slrpnk.net
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      2 days ago

      Meh, you’re a little gay. ‘Attractive’ has no objective meaning, some just are to you. You’re just not gay enough to fuck. A little gay and a little straight is called bi. But really it’s just a spectrum and it can change over time. What’s important to you, and lots of people, is how you identify. And you’re correct that doesn’t and shouldn’t matter because it has no affect on other’s lives. Now…let the hate for my opinion flow

      • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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        2 days ago

        I like your opinion. You can consider me to be bi if you want.

        I don’t identify that way and I’m not so insecure that someone having a different opinion about me, bothers me in the slightest. You do you, my friend.

        • chemicalprophet@slrpnk.net
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          2 days ago

          I really appreciate your response, I strive to be that chill especially on these topics that are so knee jerk for me! I wasn’t trying to label anyone only to put the words in their place which are as tools of description not prescription. I see I caught you in there when I could have used a hypothetical. My apologies

          • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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            1 day ago

            I am unbothered my friend.

            I appreciate you taking the time to recognise the fault in the statement. That’s more maturity and self awareness than a lot of people have.

            Keep that up.

            Cheers.