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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 days ago

I am always prepared to move into this version of life

lemmy.world

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I am always prepared to move into this version of life

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 days ago
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  • Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    You are not allowed to wear shorts or eat pizza while she is home?

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      1 day ago

      the shorts are for the pornhub.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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        23 hours ago

        The pizza is for the hotel hallway. 😉

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
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    23 hours ago

    Ewww…

    Xbox?

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
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      21 hours ago

      as funny as this comment is, do console wars really need to exist? does brand loyalty and basing your identity on the products you consume need to exist?

    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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      22 hours ago

      PC or GTFO!

  • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
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    21 hours ago

    Pretty much lol

  • vateso5074@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I would never stoop as low as that.

    …

    PS4 and Xbox One are weak, last-gen consoles. I’d use the same PC that I have all the porn tabs open on.

    • Anissem@lemmy.ml
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      1 day ago

      Fixed it for you

    • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Taking a break from your game for a quick wank, like a man of class.

      • gnutrino@programming.dev
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        2 days ago

        Who said anything about taking a break? I’ve got 2 monitors and 2 hands.

        • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          I said ‘quick wank’ not ‘goon sesh’

  • glorkon@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Same here, except I also use the opportunity to cook stuff for myself that my wife doesn’t like. Fuck pizza.

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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      23 hours ago

      Yeah, like anything containing onions, garlic, bell peppers or other ingredients with too much flavour.

      I decided she can be not home permanently. I hope your situation is better lol

      • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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        22 hours ago

        If I couldn’t use onions or garlic, that would be a dealbreaker

      • glorkon@lemmy.world
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        23 hours ago

        I like a good steak. However, my wife does not prefer it medium rare - she belongs to those heretics who would shamelessly order it well done (that’s why I never go to steakhouses with her). She also hates spicy food. Or some kinds of traditional German food which I grew up with.

        So yeah. Whenever she’s away, it’s usually steak, some spicy Asian dish or Berlin style grilled liver.

        • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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          23 hours ago

          Ah, doesn’t sound TOO bad. I was legitimately prohibited from using any vegetables in my sauces. Sauce had to be just the meat, cream, melted cheese to thicken it up and it had to be a store-bought mix for flavor. Like those Maggi ones, 4 cheese mix, carbonara mix, etc. No experimenting. Even tomatoes were a no-go.

          Needless to say, I let her do the cooking because I found it depressing. When she was away, I’d make a nice curry or chilli… Or, like you, a steak, which I prefer medium rare (though sometimes rare is nice too).

          • glorkon@lemmy.world
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            21 hours ago

            Wow, okay. At least I got my wife to appreciate a decent sauce, and I got her off the store-bought sauce mixes.

            It’s been many years but I still remember which recipe did the trick: Salisbury steak.

            Make steak patties using ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, pepper, breadcrumbs. Fry until brown. Set aside. In the same pan, sauté 250g mushrooms and a chopped onion until brown, add tomato paste, add some flour, add 500ml beef stock and a pinch of sugar (ketchup works well too). Salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce to taste. Add steaks to sauce. Cook until steaks done.

            She loves this and it kinda cured her from buying Maggi crap, lol.

            • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
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              20 hours ago

              Oh yeah, Salisbury steak is a killer recipe. Love it.

              I actually went straight to the ingredients list without reading the rest of your comment and went “hey that sounds like Salisbury steak” lol

        • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
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          21 hours ago

          Well done steak can be amazing when marinated and slowly baked with fat being addrd in the process.

    • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 day ago

      Not a romantic partner (obviously) but currently my sister and I are roommates, and when she’s out of town or staying at her boyfriend’s place I make the meals she isn’t really interested in, like Moqueca.

      • glorkon@lemmy.world
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        23 hours ago

        I never heard of Moqueca and googled it, and it does look very delicious!

  • Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe
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    2 days ago

    Lotion. Ick. Stop cutting your dick skin off you crazy puritanical people.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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      1 day ago

      This dude thinks it’s better dry

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      1 day ago

      Why would you not use lotion and risk chafing your cock?

      • King_Bob_IV@startrek.website
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        1 day ago

        Because actual lube works better?

  • hOrni@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I have no wife and no job, so that’s pretty much every day for me.

  • cattywampas@midwest.social
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    2 days ago

    Me, except no porn so I’m ravenous for that pussy when she gets back.

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
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      2 days ago

      Yeah but what’s you maximum of days to let that load build up before you really need to drain it off

      • [email protected]@lemmy.federate.cc
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        1 day ago

        That’s enough internet for me today

  • ssillyssadass@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    This feels like a prime 2018 meme

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Just replace everything with a bed.

  • kubica@fedia.io
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    2 days ago

    I don’t have white or black nintendos.

  • Tomtits@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    Where’s the goon cave?

  • realitista@lemmus.org
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    2 days ago

    Only 26? Amateur.

    • gon [he]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 days ago

      ?! And you’re a pro?! A professional gooner?!

      • realitista@lemmus.org
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        2 days ago

        More than this yokel that’s for sure.

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
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    2 days ago

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

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