First question: how would you handle situations where you show interest in someone by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), and they liked it enough to match with you, but not actually respond?
Second question: for those people out there who have someone show interest in you by writing a thoughtful blurb (maybe even witty), why would you not at least also say hi or some other basic acknowledgment? What is the expectation?
When I was online dating I would definitely hit a limit of how many folks I was able to talk to.
I’d stop engaging with the match component at that point, until I had more time/energy to talk to someone new, but some were already out there.
It can also be a mismatch in expectations about first messages. I’d generally start on the short end, and messages would naturally get a bit longer over time.
Conventions for your dating app may be different, but as both a recipient and a sender I generally found these guidelines to be true: “hey how are you?” might be too short and not engaging enough. Anything longer than 2 sentences might be too long and overly forward.
Especially since each match is with a different person with their own internal gauge of what a first message looks like. Too long and too short are both subjective and vary from match to match. The same message might be too long and desperate for one match, and too short and disinterested for another. You’re inherently making judgement calls and rolling the dice.