This made something click a bit for me. The right likes to complain “they have over 9000 genders!!!1!” entirely because they fail to realize that gender is complex and inextricably entangled with identity. Their whole worldview hinges on mapping everything to stark binary concepts (good, evil, man, woman, in-group, out-group, white, minority) so this is the scariest possible confrontation of that worldview because it means they aren’t who they need to be and the world is unavoidably more complex than they can confront.
The second one is just boy-moding when I was an egg. And now boy-moding as a mostly openly trans woman. And while it is used to invalidate my woman-hood, it’s not that I can’t publicly express it, it’s all I get to express in public irl anyway.
Maybe I’m misunderstanding what this person is saying. But all attempts with masculinity were me trying to say woman with only the word man. But otherwise a pretty accurate description of the whole, me living as a trans woman, life story, thing.
Ouch
Although let’s just say that if any transphobes start shit, that second gender is gonna come out to play. And she is not very friendly.
It sucks, but cis women also tend to get boxed into being more feminine. Though, without the denial of womanhood. Either way, I tend to view stuff like that as being treated more like a woman - for better or worse.
This doesn’t feel like an attack. It feels like the verbalization of a real dilemma that some people face. Am I missing something?
I think OP just meant something like “I’m in this picture and I don’t like it” or, “I feel called out” - they just mean they strongly identify with the OOP
‘attack’ is a hyperbole representation of how one could feel after reading this
lol okay. Thanks!
ah seeing it verbalized is… it brings clarity
It hurts
Highly suggested read if you haven’t yet: Stone Butch Blues from Leslie Feinberg
I love when my own community decides my gender expression for me like we all share the same viewpoints and struggles. But a few people are going to reply ‘this is so me frfr’ and ‘I feel personally attacked’ so I get to feel even more alienated
So true bestie bites you
can’t tell what exactly you feel is wrong here, besides a generalization - but obviously trans women come in all shapes and sizes and with different backgrounds and experiences - I’m not sure the post would be as relevant to someone who transitioned before puberty for example, and it feels targeted at people who had to live a significant portion of their life as men (and eho haven’t recovered from that).
I would also imagine it might be less relevant for transfem enbies who don’t experience their masculinity and past experiences as a man as alienating or negative.
Either way, I’m sorry it is alienating, I think instead it would be better to acknowledge there is room for all of us, and to try to not relate to generalizations as normative when not intended that way (easier said than done when imposter syndrome is present).
It’s no fun being a ‘pick me’.
I agree, the “every trans girl” framing is really bad. This could be an interesting reflection on OOP’s gender but they just had to drag us all into it and make sweeping statements about the “actual gender” of all trans women.
i dont know if i understand this. could someone explain pws? 🥺
Okay so it’s my personal experience on this and it’s going to be completely different for everyone. I don’t identify with being a man. So I started transitioning to be more feminine. But I am in an awkward spot where to make sure I am not identified as a man I have to be clearly feminine.
Okay how do I make it more clear. Basically it’s hard to be on the midway point between masc and fem for someone AMAB (I speak for my own experience it could be as hard for AFAB but I don’t know) as you are more likely to be identified as your birth gender. Which can push people to force themselves in a gender identity that is more tolerable than their birth gender (here, woman), but isn’t their actual gender either.
Let’s go deeper.
I feel so much more comfortable and authentic being heavily feminine. If I were to drop absolutely every shred of learned masculinity, it would be jarring to people who know me. I’m balancing shedding my made–up masculine past with staying at least somewhat recognisable as the person they first met. I don’t know how necessary this is, but that’s the mental gymnastics I’m dealing with right now.
• Break the masculine habits of the past
• Be feminine enough for the people who might think you’re not “making an effort”
• Don’t be so feminine that people will think you’re playing a character
like this character but slightly masculine
:/
Embrace orb
