Every time I see that little red number in my inbox, my first thought is: Did I mess up? My brain jumps to the worst-case scenario—maybe I said something controversial, and now everyone’s correcting me and downvoting my stupid comments. Even though, most of the time, the messages are actually helpful and fun, that number still triggers some sort of insecurity and anxiety. The bigger it gets, the louder my worries grow.
Logically, I know I don’t screw up that often, and most feedback is neutral or even positive. But deep down, my insecure monkey brain panics at the thought of being wrong—or worse, publicly called out. Even when I’m right, the number still makes my stress levels spike up. What if people disagree with me? What if they don’t like what I wrote?
And yes, I see the irony in posting this. Writing about it is basically asking for it and feeding the very anxiety I’m trying to ignore. Maybe it’s my version of exposure therapy.
lol naaaah :)
Yes, especially since I’m an asshole and there’s no option to disable inbox replies for comments on Lemmy (so I can’t just hit and run). Nearly gives me an anxiety attack every time.
👁️🗨️👀👁️
I’ve never even looked, I use Boost.
The point is to be controversial. While we still can be.
Yeah, I sometimes get that feeling “uh oh, what did I do?”
We may be a minority. Turns out, lots of people don’t get that feeling.
Not worried exactly - but aware that I probably said something factually incorrect and now dozens of helpful people are lined up to set me straight.
Or dozemz to rip you a new one for defending a non (f)oss way of computong.
How dare you.
(and yet the same will use something like Plex, lol)
Why the fuck would you post this? It’s wrong and you’re wrong and you’re a bad person and you should feel bad! Fuck! Fucking fuckety fuck!
Lemmy needs the “disable inbox replies” feature for comments imo. Although lately I see mostly polite disagreement.
I politely disagree.
i get dopamine.
Who cares what people on lemmy think about you or your opinions? I’d rather hear your honest opinion I disagree with than hear you agree with everybody else
Agreed. I prefer this place to be a spot where you can disagree. I learn a lot from disagreements.
That’s the only way to battle the echo chamber
It’s true that the opinions and comments don’t matter. At the end of the day, they’re just meaningless internet points and text that will be lost when the disk of my instance eventually gets formatted or when bit rot gradually eats them away.
However, that’s not how my social monkey brain feels about it. Some primitive part of me that ignores all logic and reason clings to the notion of social acceptance and shivers at the mere thought of rejection. Can’t disable that sort of thinking. Seems to be a hard-coded part of a function or something.
I say relatively controversial shit(not to troll–things I actually believe in) quite often. I’ve gone since gotten used to lists of disparaging comments. It’s better to take it as an interaction dopamine hit
Thank you for your service!
No, it means I said something impactful enough for someone to respond. Even if they disagree with me it opens the door for a discussion. Maybe I’m wrong and I’m about to learn something, maybe I’ll be able to explain something to someone else, maybe I’ll get to argue with a moron, so many possibilities in those notifications.
Viewing it as an opportunity is clearly the way to go. Far healthier than worrying for nothing.
“Oh here we go. Why do I keep posting honest takes on things instead of getting a feel for the general vibe and blindly agreeing with the majority?”
I feel this comment acutely.
Some times you just roll the dice and see what happens. Make a risky comment of the day, pay the price, get back up again and do the same thing next week. Basically, just spread your unpopular opinions in places that weren’t designated for it.
I’ve burned my fingers a few times, but also found some unexpected supporters. Write a teasing remark about a particular group, and you’ll find that everyone hates you and you get downvoted to oblivion. Say the same thing in a different place, and all you get is upvotes and comments that go even further than you did. It’s a dangerous game for those who like to live dangerously.
Blindly agree with the majority if you want to play it safe. Not a very spicy way to live your life, but I can see the appeal of it.
Try mentioning that you’re a Christian that despises the GOP.
All they hear is Christian and the comments begin.
If I blindly agreed with everyone, I probably would be dead, having killed myself from the lack of moral obligation and common decency this species seems to be deficient in. I’m only sticking around because I feel like this is the end of the Anthropocene and I want to witness it. Is that honest enough for ya?
You guys are seeing big numbers in your notification box?
Normally it’s like 0-2. On days when I write more actively, it gets a bit higher. If I happen to drop a comment in a popular thread at the right time, it can suddenly jump to 3-5, and that’s when I start to worry. Did I cross some line I wasn’t aware of, or maybe I was just at the right place at the right time. Who knows. 🤷 It’s probably ok, but my subconscious mind immediately jumps to conclusions, naturally expecting the worst.
More like a resigned sigh and wondering which comment pissed off the tankies this time.
At least one of those notifications will be calling you a liberal.
Its funny when you get called “fascist” by tankies, but also get called “communist” by the conservatives.
Then Reactionary by jai.lu
Yeah, but you don’t respect those pissed off commenters, so it’s easier to distance yourself from them. Maybe that’s my problem. I don’t usually try to be abrasive enough to cause such reactions, so I take each comment more seriously than I should.
